DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@MG the event venue owner has told me explicitly that unless the state or county shuts down or limits events, she expects the full payment the day of the scheduled event. She says they have to make money too.
Maybe I’m being a bit defensive – but please don’t think I’m stupid. We made the choice for a fall reception in March of this year, six days after our cancelled wedding, thinking things would be better. As the year has gone on, we realize that’s not the case. If we are forced to pay the amount and choose NOT hold the reception – we don’t have the money to pay for it all over again. We simply don’t.
I don’t’ want anyone to get sick, I don’t want to put people at risk. That’s why we chose an outdoor venue thinking that even if things were better in the fall people might not feel comfortable at an indoor venue. Clearly we were too optimistic. At this point I feel like I have to pretend it’s happening but also hope the state shuts down so that I don’t have to hold the event.
Ok, look, I don’t think you’re stupid but I do think it was irresponsible to spend thousands of dollars for a party during a pandemic. And you’re still talking about wanting to re-schedule in March if you’re lucky enough to get out of the late fall date and get a refund on what you’ve spent. We aren’t going to be past this by March. MAYBE by June there will be widely available vaccines but I wouldn’t bet thousands of my own dollars on it. I genuinely hope you can get your money back and I encourage you to hold off on rescheduling anything until we are much further along in this pandemic. I don’t think we’re even halfway through it yet. And even if you can’t get a refund and your choice is between losing your money or going through with the reception, please really think about whether it’s worth risking the lives of your elderly grandparents or your (I think diabetic?) father with multiple serious health problems who was on a ventilator a few days ago. My dad is 74 and diabetic and my mom also has health issues and as much as I miss them and my kids my their grandparents terribly, we won’t see them until we all have immunity. I would never forgive myself if we exposed them to a virus they couldn’t fight off.
Wendy you’re allowed to think that was irresponsible, but please also remember, you live in a state that took this much more serious than mine did. Clearly. You are in the epicenter. In March my state actually had very few cases so it just didn’t feel as real here, and perhaps I was far too naïve.
And we were all sort of led to believe that Missouri wasn’t going to be hit as hard. So when given the opportunity to try and salvage something of our wedding after having it cancelled less than a week before the day – we jumped at it. Maybe that was irresponsible, but we were going with the best information we had at the time and with good faith that things would be better. We were devastated and trying to find a silver lining and something to look forward to. How was I to know in March 2020 that it wouldn’t be better by fall or by spring 2021? I didn’t have a crystal ball and I hoped everyone would be taking it seriously and doing what needed to be done. I don’t think anyone knew, unfortunately. I still don’t think we know how long it will last.
I should have never mentioned it, because quite frankly I’m hoping they shut the state down but it feels wrong to hope it gets worse so that the Governor will finally do his job.
For whatever it’s worth, I do think Missouri will have no choice but limit gatherings and potentially shut down and then you’d hopefully get your money back. Cases are higher than they’ve ever been in most parts of the state, positivity rates are soaring (despite a worrisome decrease in testing) and with schools opening around the state, sports a go, indoor dining still happening, cases will only go up. There isn’t even a state-wise mask mandate in place. Freakin Joplin just rescinded their mask mandate with cases DOUBLING in the past week. Nearly 44 years of my life I’ve had roots in Missouri and I am still stunned on the daily by the mindset there. It’s truly disturbing.
Wendy I agree. I happen to work in a city/county that has a mask mandate and takes everything very seriously, but the city we live in is like a whole different country. No masks, everything open, no one seems to give a shit and acts like nothing is different.
It’s going to get worse before it gets better.
It seems really shitty to force you to pay for a party that can’t really be held safely. I hope there’s a way you can get out of that. Sorry, Veritek.
I wouldn’t give up on hope that they might have to let you out of your contract. I know it’s different, but my company was supposed to have our annual June conference in MO. In late March/early April, the venue said no to letting us out of the contract. So we played a waiting game and eventually they canceled on us (which is what we wanted). Anyway, I’m sorry this is the situation you guys are in — it’s shitty — and hope you will be able to either recoup your money or push it out into sometime in 2021.
Also, FWIW, I don’t think it was irresponsible for you guys to plan for a late fall re-do back in March. What we know has changed a LOT since then. One of my coworkers did something similar, rescheduled her May wedding for August at the same venue. When that decision was made, both my coworker, her now-husband, and the venue thought maybe by August things would feel normal. Obviously that hasn’t happened. The venue ended up canceling on them in June and she had to go from there.
If the venue canceled on your co-worker in June, that means the decision was made for her. I wonder at what point, if at all, she would have made the decision to cancel? By June we had well over 100K covid deaths, and it had spread well beyond NYC and other urban areas. These super spreader events are exactly the reason America is in the boat we’re in.
