BF's Neighborhood – NOT PC
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@veracityb we believe she hold racist views because she implies that the neighborhood is bad because it’s poor and black! But you haven’t been nearly as zealous about pointing that out. I gave my personal experience not to comment on whether the statements are racist or not but whether they are threatening and I believe it unreasonable to think those comments evince the threat someone is going to commit a crime against you. You have the right to feel whatever you feel, but that doesn’t make your feelings rational. What gives my position more credence is that her boyfriend, the subject of the comments, is completely UNBOTHERED. Mimosa admits she has anxiety issues and I think it’s very likely the comments bother her more because of that than anything else.
“we believe she hold racist views because she implies that the neighborhood is bad because it’s poor and black!”
To be fair, she also said that it was a “bad neighborhood” because there were frequent shootings, a lot of crime and 6 murders in the neighborhood in a week. Regardless of race, that’s a bad neighborhood in my book. She’s NOT just saying, “Oh, my BF lives in a predominantly black neighborhood, what can I do to make him more concerned about his safety?” which would imply that it’s a bad neighborhood solely because of the racial make up. Worrying about someone’s safety in a 6-homicides-a-week neighborhood isn’t inherently racist, regardless of who lives in the neighborhood.
She did, however, bring up the racial make up of the neighborhood because she perceives the recent gentrification to be a source of racial tension, which she believes may up the risk of crime to her BF. I have no idea where she lives, so I have no idea whether she is correct or not. Based on my own experience, which means nothing since it isn’t her situation, it is highly unlikely that his race is much of a factor in whether he will personally be the victim of a crime in this neighborhood. Anti-gentrification crimes tend to be property crimes, not personal ones, at least in my are of the woods, but again, that’s my area, not hers. From what she describes, the biggest crime risk to her BF is likely being mugged or robbed walking home drunk late at night and those are crimes of opportunity, not race, so if he’s the easiest target in the area, then he will draw the short straw, no matter what his race.
No, I haven’t because everyone else was all over it, and said it often enough, ha. Sorry-not-sorry that I didn’t want to pile on.
In any case, I was mainly concerned with the way people seemed to believe that racism could only be experienced in one particular fashion or in one particular direction because of a definition that emphasises greater societal power dynamics. I feel that that stifles and minimizes people’s experiences to stick rigidly to that definition, in addition to hindering a better understanding of the multi-faceted dynamics of the issue, which is what I objected to.
I don’t think just because one person is completely unbothered it doesn’t mean there was no threat whatsoever. He could be completely naïve for all we know. Sure, self-admitted anxiety seems to have elevated her concern levels to seeking advice to try and reign her bf in, but doesn’t necessarily mean the incident did not happen and was not cool.
Actually, after all of that, I guess she probably was just pointing out that she and her bf stick out, which wouldn’t make most people comfortable in a high crime area. I guess you feel more exposed and less able to just stick your head down and avoid trouble if it comes looking for you (for whatever reason).
You can’t tell from words alone what the situation was, but I am inclined to believe that most people know when a remark is meant to be friendly or in a less-than friendly manner.
Doesn’t her use of the term ‘colored people’ fall into this category? I’m not sure if Mim0sa realizes this but at one time in the U.S. using the term ‘colored people’ was in a fact a covert way of calling someone the N-word. Part of me feels like she knew/understood the intent of the term because honestly I haven’t heard anyone use that in at least 25 years. I kind of feel like she either says this in other conversations or it’s a term that’s frequently bandied about in her home. Either way, when you ask advice from strangers on the internet, you should be cognizant of your word choices.
That’s why I called out her use of the term and ‘OMG my white BF lives in a black neighborhood’ attitude. There were so many other ways she could have broached the topic that this discussion never even needed to devolve into a discussion of race or status. Honestly, her whole issue has NOTHING to do with racial makeup of the neighborhood, it has to do with her own anxiety and insecurities.
So if you need help dealing with your own shit then it’s all kinds of disrespectful to point to someone else’s race or socio-economic status as the origin of your angst. Start with saying, ‘Hey, I’ve been dealing with anxieties and my BF does this thing that amps up my anxiety level…’
NCAACP – National Association of Colored Persons Someone needs to tell them to tell them to change their name pronto.
The NAACP was not actually started by black people. You might want to check your history facts.
And tone is so important. 🙂
Holy crap my use of “colored people” was to illustrate the use of it in a racist way. AGAIN a counter example of what I am trying to say. Please let this go…I said it clearly AGAIN and AGAIN “it’s not like I’m saying ‘oh wow those colored people are so bad’ … to be said in the VOICE of someone actually being overtly racist. I know the term is racist. Get over it.
I’m only pointing out race as a factor here as it makes us/the BF stand out and it’s been pointed out to us by his ‘neighborly neighbors’ and was said in a way that I felt had a negative overtone, through body language and tone of voice. Couple that with violence being up in his neighborhood with the history of anger over gentrification and my BF being part of that phenomenon in his neighborhood. It’s a fact that his neighborhood used to have a rich African American history (which is part of the city’s culture in general) and now people feel like it is being washed out because of yuppies renting out newly renovated and pricier homes. Just last week a recent college grad in the neighborhood was shot in broad daylight because of a drive by shooting. YES he was white. YES the shooter was African American. Does this mean all black people are violent people? or that ALL white people in the area will get shot? NO but this is an example of the animosity towards a group of people and how it is resulting in fatal consequences.
I think I know exactly where your BF lives Mim0sa. If I’m correct, I have read about some tension, as well as a spike in violent crime including homicides.
But did that shooting occur BECAUSE he was white Mimosa, or was he an unintended victim caught in the middle of crossfire? I get what your saying but have there actually been a number of racially motivated crimes also known as hate crimes?
@Cleopatra Jones – and I guess now she knows.
I’ve actually heard that word a lot recently from being in South Africa in April, where they still openly use the terms like ‘black’ ‘coloured’ and ‘white’ to categorise (ironically in an attempt to reverse Apartheid).
It’s use was normalised in so many ways there, I didn’t necessarily relate it back to the specific US socio-historic context. But yeah, if she is American raised, I guess she should have been aware of that, and been more careful.Edit: forget it. I see what she is trying to say.
Mim0sa, you’re in the DC area, right? Is this the shooting your referring to?
If so that is terrifying. It would make me feel scared. It does not sound like it was racially motivated, it sounds like there was a crime going on and unfortuantly this person wasn’t the target and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Which is even more scary – what can you do to prevent it – short of never going outside or moving away?
I understand why this neighborhood scares you. If your boyfriend is not acting with common sense, I understand why you are worried for his safety. What I do not understand is why you keep assuming he is likely to be targeted because of his race. He is more likely to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and he is more likely to be the target because is isn’t being street smart, but I think your anxiety that he will be singled out because he is white is unfounded.
AAAAAANNNNDDD Ele4phant gets it!!! This entire thread she has gives very weak facts to support her belief that because he is white, he will be more likely to be victim of a crime. It just seems to me that Mimosa is making this a race issue when it simply isn’t one. It makes her SEEM racist. Also, the reason why Cleopatra is so concerned with your use of the term colored people is because it was so unnecessarily inflammatory. You didn’t have to go there to make your point, and you really shouldn’t have. It did not even serve to convey your point clearly.
