Brother and his Girlfriend staying at my house
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You’re not out of line. Your brother is being a jerk. He knew you would want them to be in separate rooms, you even told him you’d set up a separate bed for him. He understood your expectation, 100%. He just doesn’t care. Like others said, HE is the one making this awkward. You’re doing him a favour and he’s treating you like crap. And this is coming from someone who isn’t religious and is totally fine with premarital sex. Basically it’s your roof, your rules. He doesn’t get to come into your home and make you and your wife uncomfortable.
Religions do NOTHING but create needless conflicts such as this. Pointless, tedious, unnecessary drama. It simply astounds me.
My patience with people upset about “rules” who don’t get their lives together enough to be able to live by their OWN rules is at an end.
Older bro stays under your roof, he abides by the house rules. Call him out on it. He’s taking advantage of your passive nature. If you say nothing, you’ve forfeited your right to be upset—and you’re disrespecting your wife by not standing up for your family beliefs.
Its amazing more thinking people just say FUCK OFF to their dumwitted backwards Trump Loving Jesus Freak family members. If more did maybe the hypocrits would wake up and drink the coffee. Or are you all against caffeine, too.
Hey, big bro is free to say “F off” to his little bro. But then the “grown, mature adult” doesn’t have a place to bang his girlfriend.
Sad. 🙁
Bittergaymark, I appreciate the differing views. When everyone presents the same view in their responses, I start to worry that I have misrepresented the situation (as anything with a super obvious answer probably doesn’t need to be asked on an advise page). Having at least someone disagree makes me feel like I may have presented my situation in such a way as to allow for multiple interpretations.
Also, I truly am sorry if my religion has offended you. I know it’s not for everyone, but it is right for me and I firmly believe in it. I am interested in your opinion, though, as you’ve been willing to go against the general consensus, which I can respect. Sounds like religion is a bit of a hot topic, though, so let’s take religion out of it entirely and present the problem in a different light:
Am I justified in having rules in my home and expecting my guests to follow them? Regardless of the source of the rules (religion, personal preference, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc), should I as a host try to be as accommodating as possible and try to help my family feel comfortable with the difference in lifestyle, or should I insist on the house rules? I can see a case being made for each. Several in this thread have made a case for one way. You seem to be on the other side of the fence. Can we talk about this hypothetical without talking religion, as I’m really confident that we’re not going to come to a consensus on the latter?
BGM, it makes no difference what the reason is for Dave not wanting something done under his roof. What if the brother and his gf were nudists and Dave was not, and they went around naked in his house? Nothing to do with religion, still something that makes him uncomfortable, and that the brother KNOWS makes him uncomfortable. That’s the disrespectful part.
FWIW, I agree with you about religion in general. But the brother’s still being a total ass about this.
Turning the other cheek is lovely and all but you’re presenting as 100% doormat and that’s something you should work on.
No one spoke to the substance of your rules because they are your rules (for whatever reason) and you get to have them in your house. If you want to impose your rules on the rest of us, outside your house, then the consensus would be different.
But hey if you want your brother to run you and you want him to disrespect your wife’s beliefs in her own home then have at it. Either stand up for yourself and your wife or let your brother walk all over you …in some misguided attempt to be a good host instead of a good husband. Those are your choices.
And while you are asking yourself about being a good host – ask yourself about your brother’s obligation to be a good guest.
Based on your apology to a random internet commenter for merely believing in anything, I can’t imagine you talking to your brother about his behavior in your home. Aren’t you sorry for being religious around HIM, too? Why do you feel you can or should put your foot down regarding anything you believe at all?
Take Religion out of this and you have NO issue. NEWSFLASH! When conservative religions stop routinely fucking over gays and lesbians with their abject nonsense and outright bigotry, perhaps, I will then have more patience for this dated, tedious cosplay. But until then — nope. Sorry, gonna call tedious bullshit… tedious bullshit.
