Co worker comment
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Yup. And again, I assume it’s not personal. That she’s looking at everyone’s shape/size to compare herself to them out of insecurity. But it might be more personal than that, as she’s made more comments to me about my appearance than I hear her making to other people.
I brought it up to HR during this whole investigation which I did not instigate, which happened late summer / early fall. Someone else on our team started the whole thing, but when questioned, I did tell the truth about some of the weird ways she interacts with me, and the concerning way she treats one of my direct reports. She’s being worked with and coached, but the comment about my pants size, to my dismay, occurred after she’d been spoken to.
Some women don’t realize that while this might be “normal” with your peers in school – it is not normal in the workplace. It’s so ingrained in their daily lives, looking to see if they are the thinnest, fittest, fattest, etc. that it doesn’t occur to them that it’s simply not normal. It’s not how other people live their lives. That she made the comment after her coaching… clearly she’s in deep.
That’s really crazy/horrible, Kate. My coworkers comment a lot about their size, even when they are thin. It does make me feel self conscious that they are also judging me, but I can’t control that.
I really try not to talk about weight or size at work, or comment on food other than like, “how is that,” or discuss which “Fit” foods in the cafeteria actually taste good (Fit costs less). If I’m trying to lose weight I say I’m on a wellness journey. We do need to move on from the old discussions about size, particularly among women.
IDK how someone who can’t rein it in ends up in a leadership role. I do think we all project onto others in a variety of ways from time to time, but she keeps at it even knowing there’s an HR investigation and after coaching. Oof.
I’ve not experienced much weight or size talk/comparison at work. Our HR woman ate a yogurt while going over policies with me when I was at our HQ for onboarding, then spoke at length about the diet she was on and how she had to eat that yogurt at that specific time. This was my first day of work here, it was weird. I’ve also overheard one coworker comment on a former coworker’s weight loss on multiple occasions, even overheard her telling our former coworker that she had lost too much weight. I think we all assumed the former coworker was shredding for the wedding, and maybe she was. But a month or so after her wedding, her dad passed… so maybe the weight loss was grief. IDK, I’ve had enough issues around food and body image that I’ve worked hard to work through — never a diagnosable ED, but definitely some iffy behaviors around wanting to eat “clean” — that I don’t comment on food or weight, not even before people started to understand why it can be harmful.
