Home › Forums › Advice & Chat › Crush gone out of control
- This topic has 31 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 3 weeks ago by Anonymousse.
In 11 days, your gf had a series of shitty events, you saw your doctor and started meds, and now you’ve decided not to leave her?
You are not making her happy by pretending to be her loving partner. Even shitty series of events notwithstanding- I’d rather do that alone than with someone who was one foot out the door.OlgaGuest
She nearly got fired 2 times + health stuff.LucidityGuest
You should never stay with someone out of guilt or pity. Would you want that to be the reason someone stayed with you? The right time to leave is when you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore. If you wait for your partner to be perfectly happy and healthy to end things, you might end up stuck for years in a relationship that make you miserable. She will get through this.AnonymousseGuest
I had a lot of drama at one point in my life… more than “almost lost her job twice,” (that means she absolutely didn’t lost her job at all.) and the guy I was seeing was like, wow that is a lot, I can’t deal. He left. At the time I was 21idh and it sucked but damn, I’m glad he didn’t half ass and stay out of obligation of whatever it is you’re calling this.
She’ll be better than she is now. She can tell something is off and you’re flat out lying and pretending to still love her. It’s shameful and disgraceful to lie and carry on with someone you are no longer “in love” with, in my opinion.
You will feel better and she will too, once you actually have the bravery to do the bare minimum- be honest about your feelings.
Your ego driven approach that she won’t make it without you is selfish and probably in no way near her reality.AnonymousseGuest
Great, call her mom and close friends and start packing up, she’ll be fine.CopaParticipant
Sorry, but I’m calling bullshit. I don’t believe that the reason you haven’t left her yet is because you feel too much empathy for her now that you’re on meds. It’s (still) because you’re scared for yourself. You’ve already said you don’t want to be alone or lose your social life and stability.
It’s great that you have gotten onto meds that you feel are helping you, but IMO what you need more is regular therapy.AnonymousseGuest
Yeah, I also call bullshit.
If you cared about her so much and were so worried about her, you would not keep doing this to her.
You’re behaving cowardly, to her and yourself.AnonymousseGuest
It is so crappy of you to decide what she can and cannot handle, to think that you are so integral she can’t exist without a “relationship” with you.
You are choosing your own feeling over hers, every moment, every minute, hour, day, week, etc. That you keep letting this continue is really pretty fucked up. It’s messed up. You’re stealing time from her, knowing you don’t want her. It’s not nice or fair to her.
You need more than meds, you need a therapist.