Holiday Tipping, private instructor
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I would’t change your tipping practices based on a Forbes article, ktfran. I read an article this week advising people to tip their kids’ school secretaries, for example. Just. No.
I don’t mind upping it a little since I can. As an aside… the reason I started this thread… I’m so happy I did something for my pilates instructor. She had a little gift for me on Monday. She said it’s something she does for all her private clients. Very nice.
This is not a Forbes thing, these have always been the tipping guidelines. If you don’t want to tip along these guidelines, that’s absolutely your prerogative, and you can do what you feel is appropriate, but these are the standard recommendations. Notice they’re NOT telling you to tip the school secretary. I wouldn’t just give up on tipping people appropriately because I read one article with a strange reco.
ETA- that’s because I don’t want to risk seeming unappreciative or cheap.
From the article: As Jodi R. R. Smith, of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, put it, “In our culture, there are certain jobs that fall into the tipping range and when you use these people to help make your life easier all year round and you don’t tip them, what you’re saying is that you don’t appreciate them, and some resentment can build going forward.”
That’s the salient part. You’re buying their services and while some services are considered “professional” and don’t require tipping – lawyer, doctor, accountant, others fall into that tipping category. It’s simply saying “thank you for making my life easier”
And it doesn’t have to be a tip of money if you’re weirdly uncomfortable or unsure. I rent cars from the same tiny satellite frequently; the other day I brought them bagels and muffins as a year end thank you.
Your version of appropriately and other people’s are different, Kate. And it also might change depending on where you live. Or the frequency of the service. Or the amount you pay all year.
It’s not “cheap” or “unappreciative” to take that all into account. Blanket statements about how much you should tip [insert service provider here] are silly.
No it doesn’t change with where you live. The expectation is that where you live determines the average price for that service in that area. A personal trainer may cost $300 an hour in NYC but $60/hr in Youngstown OH. So if you are tipping based on the cost, the overall amount you pay would be different but the GUIDELINE remains the same.
The guideline is standard. The other guideline is there’s no harm in giving more if you can afford it. But it’s akin to going to a restaurant, having the server bring you drinks, meals, whatever and then not tipping because you can’t afford it.
That’s the price of doing business, service, tip and annual tip.
Incorrect as to tipping guidelines being silly, that is. You look cheap just arguing this point.
Now, sure, if you tipped very generously, in excess of 20% all year, or you fell on hard times, sure, adjust as necessary and just send the heartfelt note.
And as the original article states, if your frequency of visits is lower, you divide the cost of a visit correspondingly.
Another thing to consider is that, as a regular, you get free drinks, services, etc. throughout the year. Our bartenders comp us drinks all the time, both at our local and at the nice steakhouse we go to occasionally. I get free blowouts and conditioning treatments at the salon for being a regular for 18 years and referring other good clients and just generally not being difficult. If i have some kind of hair-mergency, they get me in right away. They’ve bumped my ex because I’m way more pleasant. Just on that basis alone, it makes sense to be generous.
“A personal trainer may cost $300 an hour in NYC but $60/hr in Youngstown OH” ”
They should save that money and put it towards moving out of Youngstown.
For services that we consume regularly we do the cost of one session. So the idea is that if you are spending x per week, it’s not an unmanageable burden to give an extra x during the holidays. For other stuff we might just give a somewhat more generous tip around the holidays).
Tipping school administrators generously will generally be reciprocated with more favorable treatment (better class placements, lesser discipline, permitted absences, better recommendations, higher grades, etc)
I don’t disagree with Kate that these tipping guidelines are universally custom and therefore what you should follow, but I do find some of the guidelines to be nonsensical and confusing.
While I will accept that it is custom to tip hair stylists both at the time of service and again at the end of year (while it is custom to tip someone like your doorman only once a year), it doesn’t make sense to me why there’s one custom for some service workers and different custom for others. Why are some service workers expected to be given tips of appreciation twice, while others only once?
Like, you can still accept the guidelines as universally accepted and follow them so you’re not a jerk, while feeling perplexed about how some of those guidelines became customary in the first place.
Honestly, I wish our society would move away from tipping as expected altogether. It doesn’t seem fair to the worker’s livelihood depend on people to know the customs (or respecting them). Just charge me the the amount my service truly costs so service workers are assured the income they deserve, and then let’s change our attitudes towards tipping so they truly are optional.
