I am beyond Jealous of my perfect sister
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I’d start rehearsing the dance you’ll do on grandmamma’s grave. If you can rehearse it in front of her, even better.
So you can see that you dad is just as bad as your grandmother? She said it, but your parents let you feel it and subjected you to her since your early teenage years.
They aren’t going to suddenly realize they’ve been horrible and treat you better. This is who they are. I know it sucks and it really hurts, but your entire family dynamic is abusive. You need to leave.
You’re the family punching bag and nothing will change until you choose yourself and make distance and stop listening to what they say to you about your worth. You don’t have to let them into your life.
Try to focus your energy and attention on your life, your interests, things that make you happy and try not to think about your depressing home life. Save up and get out. If you’re in school, I’m sure someone is looking for a roommate.
Have you started looking for a new therapist?
So mmm I know this thread is a week old but this resonated with me. Me and my sister are 3 years apart and I was the older “perfect” sister growing up. We didn’t get along at all during our teens and early twenties I would say. I was too busy trying to keep the perfect facade and she was rebelling against our parents. All I can say, is that hopefully you can grow past this. I know it seems your sister has the perfect life, but she probably has problems like everybody else, just makes jokes about it and deals with it internally because maybe showing it would not resonate with her perfect image everyone perceives. Probably if she came with a real problem to your parents they would just brush her off like they do you. What your family says to you is not normal and not ok and is robbing you of the possibility of having a good relationship with your sister. I know I started to get along so much better with mine once we both moved out and started interacting as adults. I think you are too entangled in this family dinamic to see things clearly. Hang out with your sister one on one. Once you get to know the real her, not the perfect image she puts out for the rest of the family, you may think differently.
