From a LW:

“I am a woman in my late 30’s. I recently turned another year older and am working towards goals I have. When I was in high school several years ago, I was in a work program study and they insisted at the time that we chose a field to work in long term for when we got out of high school. I tried retail and hated it and then I tried a daycare center. The daycare center was better than retail. Looking back, I wished I had tried other fields like receptionist, marketing, or event planning because guess where I am stuck now: working in childcare. I have been working in childcare for the past 15 years and I am burnt out. I love my kids and coworker but I’ll never make enough money in that field to feel financially secure and successful. Even if I did, I want to try a new field or pursue a field similar to some of my other goals and dreams. I feel bad saying that because I truly love all the children I work with. I am currently working on a degree that is in a language I have a passion for. The class I am currently taking is harder than past classes and proving difficult to understand. I don’t want to give up though and I don’t plan on doing so. I am a creative person who loves acting and theater and making things and planning events. So instead of childcare forever, what other career options are available for me to work towards? I want a back up plan in case I get delayed longer then I anticipate.

My brother insists that I have a plan and that I research whatever field I think about changing too. I want to start with ideas before I set a solid plan in place with the expectation of “that’s what your going to do until the end”. I should mention now that I don’t drive but I envision myself doing many things (not just one boring career) and being successful enough to have a driver. My brother thinks I am unrealistic and he and I don’t see eye to eye. He has two children who are high maintenance and he and his wife require a lot of help with them. They are 1 1/2 and 5 months. Shockingly, my family doesn’t understand why I don’t want to be around my nephews on the weekend after working 40 hours during the week with other high maintenance children. My comfort level for kids is 3 and up since they can talk and communicate. I have explained this to my parents but they don’t seem to get it. I love my nephews but they are loud and by the end of the week, I am tired and want to relax and meet up with friends if I can. My aunt is one of the nicest and most generous people and has helped me, my parents, uncle, and brother and his wife out multiple times. However, if I talk to her about my hopes and dreams, she gets frustrated and then angry and begins to yell if I don’t agree with her. This unfortunately usually happens in the car as she sometimes gives me rides places I need to go. I’ve learned not to bring that up again. I told my mom about it and she said “you can be frustrating sometimes” but so can she and my aunt! So can my brother and everyone else in my family. I am not perfect and I have my flaws like everyone else but I don’t think that means I deserve to be yelled at. Also, who can I talk to about my hopes and dreams? I’ve already journaled about them, prayed, wished, and hoped for them in addition to working on trying to make them a reality. One of them does entail being in shape which I am slowly working on. I am constantly trying to lose weight and I am stuck as I have a sweet tooth. I got my dad’s sweet tooth and his side of the family loves their sweets and sugar and never went a day without desert. There is also no shortage of ice cream in the freezer whether it’s dairy or dairy free. I am lactose intolerant and so is my brother. I try to control my sugar cravings and manage my sugar intake but sometimes it’s really hard on the days when I have high stress at work with children with behavioral issues.

What should I do? I want out of the childcare field and I thought about taking online classes in other fields but I don’t know how long that would take and I don’t feel like my family will support me in doing it. I also don’t want to be stuck in childcare while I work on it. One of my best friends told me that she has a friend who was working in childcare and was burnt out and they got a job as a receptionist even though they have no prior experience. One of my now ex coworkers left my current place of work because she was burnt out and now she has a job as a receptionist that pays more. What are my next steps? I have long term goals and short term goals but even the short term goals feel like long term ones now.

My mother thinks I need to see a therapist but she didn’t specify for what. It simply can’t be because I’d like to follow all my dreams as far as I can before it’s too late and I am no longer able. I am open to seeing one for help with letting go of resentment towards past bullies but I am done hearing people say “that’s not realistic” or “your not going to be able to do that”. I am done with the unsupportive BS. I love my family and tolerate their “constructive” criticism because they can be wise and occasionally do have good tips or advice. They helped me get away from a toxic ex who yelled at me a lot (again in a car), was verbally and mentally abusive to me, and manipulated me several times. They also help pay for my apartment because my income as a preschool teacher would never be enough alone. My parents come to visit on the weekends and have a room they stay in. My brother and his wife come over during the day when their older son’s nanny is at their house.

Stuck”