Is he playing??
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This guy who lives in my neighborhood and I started communicating and occassionally seeing each other in September 2023. We both are busy and don’t get to see each other often. He works 8-12 hours a day, and I am unemployed due to disability and I also am a caregiver for my sickly 92 year old mother.
Over the course of our dynamics, him and I have had problems and sometimes have cut communication with each other multiple times but so far have always ventured back to one another. In the time we’ve been communicating he expressed to me that he thinks I’m a nice person whose morals and virtues align with his, that he wants to eventually marry and start a family with. We both have expressed and exchanged feelings of fondness towards one another.
We’ve had xes twice and each time after, he cuts off communicating and has ghost me. The first time we had xes was 6 months ago..he ghosted me for a short while..and later apologized and said that it was due to him feeling insecure and questioning his size, performance, and capabilities. . We just had xes for the second time 3 days ago, and I haven’t heard from since, and he’s been ignoring my texts.. I have only texted him twice. Once to ask how he was feeling..the other to wish him a good day ahead.
Him ghosting me last time lasted for about 2 weeks.. then he texted me apologizing, saying he missed me and told me things were not okay with him and he questioned me if I had been satisfied.
Last week he had about 2 guys over for company…or so I thought.. I had asked a few minutes before I knew of his company, if he wanted to see me then..in which he never responded.that day..not even to tell me he’s busy…
I thought that was strange because he’s always asking to spend more time with me..even if it’s a quick hug.. He has left company before to see me for a hug.I am almost certain that I saw him there with another woman as well and they were making out..
He swears that there are no other women..
During our breaks, on his way to and from work he often looks at my house as if hoping to see me.
Is he playing me, and perhaps only using me for sex, to fill voids of loneliness and ego boost???Does he mean anything he tells me?? Are these red flags and should I end things once and for all??
“he thinks I’m a nice person whose morals and virtues align with his, that he wants to eventually marry and start a family with.”
Is this what you want? If your mother is 92, aren’t you at least 50, or really past the age of starting a family?
If you want to marry, this guy isn’t it. A guy who lives in the same neighborhood but you’ve seen infrequently and had sex with twice and he freaks out afterward is not available to you, no matter what he says.
If you want drama and a situation to keep you guessing, and you’re also not available for a serious relationship, then carry on. I don’t know what this guy’s real issue is, but I do know this isn’t going to progress beyond what you’ve got right now.
You say you are disabled and caring for your elderly mom. Is this isolating you? Do you have other friends in the neighborhood?
Someone who wants to be with you – will be with you.
I completely agree with Kate. LW, this is not your relationship. Unless your mom is really your grandmother, you’re too old to make a family. Find some online, at home job (not with proofreading/editing) so that you have something to focus on, along with some extra jingle in your pocket. Sex is just sex for many men, and doesn’t necessarily lead to a relationship.
I completely agree with Kate. LW, this is not your relationship. Unless your mom is really your grandmother, you’re too old to make a family. Find some online, at home job (not with proofreading/editing) so that you have something to focus on, along with some extra jingle in your pocket. Sex is just sex for many men, and doesn’t necessarily lead to a relationship.
