marriage and being ask for space
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So my wife and I now of three years, already seperated once after two and half years. We both blended a family pretty quickly. In doing so besides finances and issues of my own we both had some things to work on. During the first time she kept saying she needed space and clarity. I came to find out also that she had a couple negative friends that knew about her first bad failed marriage of 17 years, and tradegy of her mom. It was me vrs her love for me, and her negative friends who didn’t know me at all. Plus some of her family who where hardly ever around. We dated again and she had me back in nov of last year. Then said I want to take it day by day. After months of showing her change with in myself on a bigger level then ever, we went on a birthday concert for her. She told me it was the best birthday every and thanked me. Also begging me not to leave her as she knew I was struggling not being told i was back for sure, and my boys had been at my moms this whole time except certain weekends, yet I was always good other two girls. She then two days later told me I need space some time for clarity. THis time hit me hard because we had been doing so much better. She still views all social media post like stories on snap or Facebook. But I don’t understand why. I’m so confused
What does “yet I was always good other two girls” what other two girls? Being good is like, what’s expected.
If you think you behaving is exceptional, it’s not. Anyway, I cannot fully understand what’s going on here. What did you do?I came to find out also that she had a couple negative friends that knew about her first bad failed marriage of 17 years, and tradegy of her mom. It was me vrs her love for me, and her negative friends who didn’t know me at all. Plus some of her family who where hardly ever around.
I don’t understand what this has to do with your relationship at all or what it even means.
I guess “other girls” was an autocorrect typo from “with her girls” and I do find your writing style a little hard to follow. However, all the different scenarios one could interpret lead to the same conclusion: give her the space she’s asked for, and go away to use that time to work on yourself. Be there for your boys, and dream then build a life for yourself without all this drama. You may find that by the time she knows, you have moved on.
That doesn’t sound good that you almost never have your boys. Can you say more about that? Are you having them mostly stay with their mom because that’s what your wife wants?
My take on this is that you and your current wife both have some significant issues, both obviously have failed relationships, and moved too quickly here to get married and blend your families because you wanted it to work. You wanted to be in a functional relationship and family so you pushed it, but now the result of moving too fast is it’s falling apart. It does sound like her family and friends are telling her you’re not a good choice, and that truly you do have some things you need to work on. I think she has at least one foot out the door but tried to make it work to save face.
I agree you need to just keep living your life, focus on yourself and your boys, spend quality time with them, get your financial house in order, etc. Don’t do this back and forth on and off thing. It’s super unhealthy and bad for the kids. I’d just tell your wife that if she needs space you respect that, and she should do what she needs to do, but that this isn’t healthy and it’s not working.
