No one is cool with it, but they’re not here. In fact, we told you not to date those people.

“Yes my job and my lifestyle make me a catch, and if they were not insecure jerks looking for validation of their masculinity by “scoring” with their socially conditioned notion of “feminine” they would see that just as my late husband did”

Maybe if you are having this much trouble finding an appealing person who has long term interest in you, you are not as much of a catch as you think you are.

I didn’t know there were women in the Incel movement!

Nobody likes a snob. At least, not long-term.

Isn’t Alpha synonymous with self absorbed, sexist jerk?

No one wants to date a stuck up woman who stereotypes everyone she sees and thinks she’s better than everyone else. Everyone bores you. People who have lifelong friendships which take time and care to maintain (like actual relationships do) but that’s so limiting to you.

If you think people are disposable, are you surprised that this is the type of man you attract?

Obviously, you need to do some deeper introspection. If you were a catch, you’d be able to have a relationship with a man of your choosing. Or at least a second date.

Since you believe you are a catch on paper, it must be your attitude. Something about who you are, in person that even puts these lotharios off.

I happen to think Fyodor is friggin’ awesome. Just for the record 🙂

Carol Evans —
I think on the whole you’ve been given good advice, with a few posters objecting to your tone. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”. You’ve decided you know how to find the sort of men you want: the ballsy ones who come up to you and ask you out are the strongly masculine alpha male winners you are seeking. You’ve gone through a lot of them and found that rather than winners, they were just boring guys interested only in sex for one night — that night.

I think if you had a chance to date them a few times, you’d learn that the majority of them aren’t at all what you would consider an alpha male. They are just guys who have had difficulty finding a relationship/sex and are now following the script from one of the many advice books for men giving the secret way to date and bed a beautiful woman. By their own self-definition, they are losers, not alpha males, and they are following a long discredited creepy script, for the most part.

Here is the criticism of you which is valid: you refuse to change your approach; you refuse to hunt men in a different pool. Most importantly, you are missing all of the signals these men are telegraphing to you as to what they are seeking. They are trying the ‘boldly hit on many women and you’ll eventually find one willing to date and have sex with you’ numbers game that their guidebook suggests. Instead of recognizing the obvious, you are interpreting these guys as super-sexy, ballsy, super masculine macho, successful alpha males. More than that, you are failing to see that they aren’t seeking a relationship with you. They have wrongly sized you up as a woman interested in quick sex. That is what they seek. When you agree to date them, they think their view of you is confirmed, because that’s who they are.

Your problem is one of communication, obtuseness to verbal and non-verbal clues, and misreading signs of male confidence and power.