“My Former Client Broke My Heart”
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Good job blocking him.
He might enjoy the feeling that he’s got female contacts, you know? A sense that he has “options.”
Not enough info to know if he’s narcissistic. Narcissism is a spectrum. I think only 2% actually have the personality disorder, but yeah, he sounds self-centered and incapable of forming healthy mutually nurturing relationships with women, and just wants them to cater to his needs.
Yes, I thought he might be based on how he behaved with me so cold after telling him of the miscarriage and after contacting me twice after ” no contact” and telling him to pause text messages as we couldn’t express ourselves properly and we could do otherwise like talk on the phone . And his immediate response ” I understand and I am very sorry take care”.
As soon as he gets confronted he starts being passive aggressive with his coldness.
It doesn’t matter if he’s a narcissist. He’s shown you who he is and that is someone who is selfish.
He didn’t leave his wife until he had you lined up. As soon as he was independent, you weren’t enough anymore. This is who he is.
Block him. And in the future – listen to your rules. A man who would cheat on his wife (regardless of their intimacy activity or lack thereof) is someone who will cheat on you. He used you a crutch just like you predicted. Don’t commit to any person who is in a period of transition. Leave them be until they figure themselves out.
Late to this party, but I agree with others about how this guy behaved and why.
Narcissist is an actual diagnosable clinical disorder that is rare but has become somewhat of an online buzzword where people are armchair diagnosing narcissists left and right, which is problematic. The vast majority of these people — like this guy — are likely just selfish, self-centered jerks.
Anyway, wanted to add that to move on, do your best to create as much distance as possible. I don’t know what platform you are using that you can tell he deleted you from his contacts, then added you back. Even paying attention to something like that is keeping you hung up on the “why” of his behavior. The “why” never really matters. I know it can feel like if only you had a logical explanation for his behavior, you’d be able to move on, but the reality is that even if you had some kind of firm explanation, it’d still not feel like closure. Good on you for blocking the guy. If you need to, write down the facts of how he treated you so that you can read them any time you catch yourself wondering why or romanticizing the guy. Focus on and pour into yourself. Spend time with friends and family. Cultivate your interests — take a workshop, sign up for a class, try a new hobby volunteer. Anything you’ve ever wanted to try, do it. Do your best to look back as little as possible. If you find yourself ruminating, try to distract yourself. If you need the support of a therapist, there’s no shame in that. Just keep moving forward in big and small ways — if you mess up, get back on track. It gets easier. One day you’ll look back and the guy will give you the ick.
Hi Copa,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and support.
The reason I knew he added me back because I simply went adding back his number so I can block him on whatsapp, that’s when I found out.
Initially, he deleted my number as asked him to only find out he went adding me back just few days later, which to be honest, I don’t even understand what does that mean for behaving like that, most probably to get a reaction from me since he’s a player manipulator.
I am already in the status of feeling the ick about this guy and I have started to question myself in what I did really find attractive about this man!
