My male friend took advantage of me when I was drunk- is it my fault?

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Viewing 12 posts - 97 through 108 (of 119 total)
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  • ron
    February 22, 2019 at 4:32 pm #833403

    OP is LOOOONG gone.

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    ron
    February 22, 2019 at 4:34 pm #833405

    And as I read a little farther, she’s back.

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    Ange
    February 22, 2019 at 4:37 pm #833406

    Seriously OP just ignore what doesn’t serve you in this moment. The last thing you needed straight after this event is a bunch of people telling you what you did wrong. There’s enough of that out in society and you were looking for support in what you thought would have been a safe space. I’m sorry you didn’t get it. Usually we do much, much better dealing with women and I really don’t know why the ball was dropped this time.

    I hope you get the support you need.

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    February 22, 2019 at 4:38 pm #833407

    Nope. She just responded.

    RoseLouise, please know that this wasn’t your fault. I’m glad you’re going to see a counselor. Cut your yourself some slack. Take care of yourself. Again, you did nothing wrong. There are many, many people, myself included, who let a night get away from them and drink a little too much. You were unlucky in that your friend assaulted you. EDT: Learn from this and move forward.

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    Ange
    February 22, 2019 at 4:39 pm #833408

    Better? Seriously? I’m going to have a rage stroke.

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    Avatar photo
    February 22, 2019 at 4:44 pm #833411

    I cosign that, Ange.

    ETA: I see your reply, ktfran. Thanks.

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    February 22, 2019 at 4:45 pm #833412

    Sorry, @ange. That’s not the way I meant it. I’m in agreement with you and @TaraMonster. I’ll amend.

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    Ange
    February 22, 2019 at 4:49 pm #833415

    Thanks ktfran. This thread and responses I’m sure are highly emotional for a lot of women and all I can think is this is why women don’t report. This is why men get away with what they do. If we can’t lean on our own what hope is there.

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    Ele4phant
    February 22, 2019 at 4:54 pm #833416

    OP you did nothing wrong.

    I’m sorry I derailed your thread.

    Everyone else – this topic is interesting and I’ve enjoyed discussing it, but let’s take it to another thread now.

    Reply
    February 22, 2019 at 4:54 pm #833417

    RoseLouise’s last response made me extremely sad and I really do hope that she can move past this, which is why I finally felt compelled to say something and add to those supporting her.

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    LisforLeslie
    February 22, 2019 at 4:56 pm #833418

    RoseLouise – I truly hate that this happened to you. I hate that you are questioning your part in this. Let me again repeat: YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Drinking too much is not an excuse, it’s not a reason, it’s not an invitation. He took advantage of your friendship and he admitted he would do it again.

    He’s thisclose to being a full on rapist.

    I am glad you are going to seek counseling and I hope you understand that it doesn’t matter what state you were in, you did not consent. You could not consent. You are completely and totally blameless.

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    Avatar photo
    February 22, 2019 at 5:05 pm #833419

    @RoseLouise, I just want to reiterate that this was not your fault. He made a choice to do what he did, and that is completely on him. A lot of us have been where you are, and we know what all the second-guessing feels like. You are doing the best thing you can do by seeing a counselor– I didn’t do that for many years, and I wish I’d done it way sooner. I’m sending you all the internet hugs.

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My male friend took advantage of me when I was drunk- is it my fault?

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