What exactly is wrong about this story from my childhood?
- This topic has 232 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Yeah… I thought his writing level was good and didn’t suggest any learning disability, and I didn’t see autism in the video, just a kid who maybe drank some Mountain Dew and was hyped up. If I had sensed developmental issues or what have you, I would have gone easier if that makes sense. But I def didn’t.
Also, Ron, I meant *if I knew the kid* in real life and understood the level of delusion that the need to live under. My brother’s not autistic, he’s got other issues, but part of it is that he fantasizes about stuff and kind of needs to live in a protective bubble. It would depend on the kid, the extent to which I’d go along with a story like that.
I mean, if his feelings were hurt, I’d certainly sincerely apologize to him. But I would hope he realized that my point was to frame my response in a way that made more sense to him, since he seemed to have difficulty understanding where everyone else’s responses were coming from. But, fairly or unfairly, he’s coming at this from a different angle than most, and that needs to get accounted for, Ron. When a 15 year old posts about how “I lost the love of my life and I’m never going to love again because there will never be another person for me!” we treat them differently here than if it was a 40 year old posting it, as well we should.
I would never say something here that I wouldn’t say directly to a person’s face; that’s just who I am.
Thanks for all the positive responses. Allow me to answer some questions you guys may have.
Why’d I come here: I googled “advice” and this site came up.
Did I post this anywhere else: Yes, I posted this on reddit and Quora, but interestingly, those didn’t have much negativity, as opposed to here, where I actually thought I stumbled into a site full of high school HEATHERS like that one guy said.
Why’d I exaggerate the story: to make it sound more cooler when I read it to the class.
What did I want to know: Why people were telling me I was wrong for what I had done, when I got props for what I did when it originally happened.
What were my motivations for what I did: I’d been picked on by this guy a lot all school year long, but didn’t want to get myself in trouble as well. I was also taught by my family that picking on/hitting girls is a HUGE no no. When I saw this guy picking on that girl I got super pissed because I was at a boiling point with his bullshit, and he was also picking on some innocent girl, which I saw as completely despicable cause that’s how I was raised. I honestly didn’t care if I got in trouble at this point (luckily I didn’t), I just wanted to kick his ass so bad.
Did the bullying continue afterwards: Sort of, but it was two-fold. We both spent years dissing and fighting and being bullies to each other. It didn’t stop until 7th grade, because we had virtusally no classes with each other and kinda stopped seeing each other starting then.
Where did the knight stuff come from?: It was an actual conversation me and the girl had where we were joking around about those things, but to make the story sound cooler I talked about it as if we said it in earnest.All right. To be totally honest with you, I still don’t believe it, but other people here obviously do.
I still don’t think you understand why people are upset about your attitudes about women and girls. Women don’t want to be seen as princess. We do not want our worth to be based on the fact that we are pretty. We don’t want people to rush to our aid because we are helpless and need a night in shining armor. We want to be seen as people and treated with respect, because again, we’re people.
Does that make sense?
Now you may have been raised with these beliefs, but now that you are growing up, I hope you re-examine them. Particularly as attitudes are changing and you will likely encounter more people who take offense to this view of women than that share it.
This little girl was being ganged up on, it was three against one, she needed help. It’s good to stand up to bullies* and good to help people when they need it. But I would hope you would’ve been just inclined to help if it was another little boy that needed help, or it was a little girl that wasn’t as pretty.
Be respectful to everyone regardless of their gender, regardless of their attractiveness. Help people who need help.
* – that said it would’ve been better if you had not resorted to violence, that’s not the way to handle things. You could’ve gotten an adult and let them shut things down without causing harm to another person, even if that other person was behaving like a jackass. But let’s try to stay focused on one thing at a time.
OK, look I realize what you’re trying to say. I can honestly tell you that her being pretty/a girl wasn’t the motivation for what I did. It was the fact that he was such a jackass to me for so long that had me over the edge. That was the first time I saw him where he wasn’t picking on me, before I used to let it slide because I didn’t want him to get me in trouble too, and also he seemed to only be picking on me, so I thought maybe I had something to do with it. When I saw what he was doing to that girl I realized how much of true jackass he was and got super pissed. The fact that she was a girl/pretty wasn’t the reason I stepped in, it was just another reason I got mad enough to do what I did. I completely understand how you feel, and hope you don’t still think I’m sexist. Maybe I should lay of the chivalry a bit.
It’s true that we are a pretty cynical bunch; I’m not surprised that people’s BS meter’s hit the red. It’s going to happen throughout life but it does suck when people don’t believe you.
I think the take away here is that women are not a separate species. The behavior you show to one gender should be the same to another. You don’t hit people. Protection of the “innocent” is a good and worthy notion but you shouldn’t withhold your protection because the victim is a boy. Boys can be victims and just because no one came to help you – that doesn’t mean you can’t be different and better.
I mean based on your language – it sounds like had it been a boy on the ground with a scraped arm, you would not have thrown the baseball. Can you say with certainty that you would have?
@Elephant- and when he crafts the story to make himself into a knight it makes people wonder if he feels comfortable with himself today or comfortable with people who don’t buy into those gender roles.
Yes! Lay off the chivalry bit, unless you are telling the story to someone who knows you well enough that they won’t think your actions are going to carry over to treating women like they are a different species, today.
