My daughter came 6 weeks early. Think about which one you would rather not miss? Why can’t you Skype your brother’s wedding? Would you rather that than Skype the birth? And no she’s not unreasonable but you sound like a bit of a jackass calling her that and making this her problem instead of factoring in your pregnant partner’s feeling. You are just going to be a guest at the wedding. Hopefully you are a little more than that in the delivery room. And if you want to talk statistics then the divorce rate is pretty high. Maybe you can attend your brother’s next wedding.

I think you’ve gotten your answer – most people who have answered (including 100% of the women so far) don’t think your wife is being unreasonable. Whether the baby comes during the wedding or not, your wife needs the security of knowing you’re there if the worst happens. I mean, I don’t want to be a downer, but someone already mentioned the possibility of stillbirth, and there’s also always the possibility of the mother’s death. It’s scary. How would you feel if something like that happened and you weren’t there? Even something as “routine” as a c-section is major surgery and it can be extremely frightening to have to go through it unexpectedly. If there were any way to tell ahead of time that it would all be fine, that might be different. But there’s no way to tell, and that’s why your wife’s request isn’t unreasonable.

Saw your update after and I’m feeling bad about my snark. It’s fair you’re sad about missing it but explore some tech solutions. And if your brother is a plane ride away then maybe arrange a visit after the baby (couple of months) so they can meet and you can spend some real time with him.

You could probably reassess this situation when it is closer, have her schedule a check up the day before you leave. Things can happen very quickly, I was 3 wks early and from the time I felt the contractions to the time I rushed to the hospital I had her within a 6 hour period and not having my partner’s support during those hours or experiencing it would have been. A little sad for me. With that being said my doctor was able to predict that I should expect her arrival within 24 hours BC of where I was at in terms of medical stuff that I won’t get jbto. So, her fear is normal, but I would suggest going to Dr with her to see if they say you should stick around but also remember anything can happen and for you to be able to assume a flight will be available the hour your wife calls and says she’s delivering and get you home in exactly 2.5 hours probably isn’t reasonable. If you do decide to stay do it out of understanding and don’t be condescending if nothing happens…. If you feel safe going then explain this to her after you hear from opinion but also try to keep in perspective she wants to make sure you her partber is there for this, it’s coming from a good place, I didn’t even want my parents in the room… The support of your partner’s presence and encouragement is not met with anyone else. Goodluck!

@firestarter

My daughter came 6 weeks early. Think about which one you would rather not miss?

Obviously the birth of my child trumps my brothers wedding… If my wife had a planned c-section tomorrow and I instead wanted to go to my brothers wedding instead then your response may have made sense.

“Lol it must be nice to be able to mentally pass off the responsibility of a pregnancy. You realize she doesn’t have that option. Oh her mom’s there so her husband doesn’t need to be. Really?? He’s the father he should be there if she wants him to be.”

I don’t disagree with this, but it doesn’t follow that he has to be willing to entertain absolutely zero risk of missing the birth and miss a once in a lifetime event based on a relatively small possibility of the kid being born three weeks early. Especially if they have a support network, contingencies set up etc.

I am bouncing back and forth on this and I think that people here are making it sound like he wants to skip out on her due date to go drinking. This is his brother’s wedding and it’s pretty unlikely the kid will be born.

Given the importance of the event and if he feels really strongly about it, I think that it would be worth broaching the topic with her seeing what he could do in terms of preparations, etc such that she might be willing to accept the risk of him being gone.