Younger brothers out of state wedding 3 weeks before wifes due date
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My husband was traveling a lot for work with both babies on the way, but he told his work he would not be about 6-8 weeks before the due dates. They were understanding.
This is a tough one, honestly. I’d feel pretty terrible if my husband missed the wedding of his sibling and it all was for naught (Obviously, would rather have that then the alternative, have something happen..) but obviously who doesn’t want their husband there for the birth? I think i would be okay setting up a doctors appointment the day before and checking on everything, and if getting a green light, lett my husband go? Maybe i think too much like a guy sometimes. I just don’t think i’d want him to miss out on a siblings wedding (Not just a friend’s wedding, my opinion would differ, but his sibling’s wedding). I think i would be okay if he went. Not enthused, but i wouldn’t get myself all worked up about it.
At 37 weeks, a doctor tells the majority of women that it is literally any day now. You can go from no dilation to fully dilated and having your kid In a very period of time.
This is not how “guys” think. My BIL just canceled a family reunion trip this summer because his wife is due within five weeks of it.Reading this makes me wonder about something. If grandparents can’t sign the paperwork in case the baby needs medical intervention or needs to be transferred, what happens with single mothers? If it has to be the father to make the decisions, and he is not there and the mother is still in surgery/unconscious, what happens then?
@courtney89, I don’t think most of us would disagree with that plan, but Tom’s wife might not feel comfortable with it, and he needs to accept that. The question was, is she being unreasonable to ask him not to go? And the answer is a resounding NO. Wanting him at home when his baby could be born at any time is totally reasonable. And he needs to step up and support his wife at what will be a time of anxiety for her, not gaslight her about being mean and unreasonable.
Of course it sucks to miss a sibling’s wedding, but shit happens and life is long. My HS best friend’s brother missed her wedding because he was deployed in Iraq. Two of my husband’s best friends missed our wedding – one because his teen daughter was dealing with a mental health crisis, and one because he woke up that morning with food poisoning, of all things. They are all still friends.
Then he shouldn’t go, I guess. Honestly? I always thought women NOT traveling by plane had far more to do with the rigors of air travel (wild variances in pressures and the like than distances.) And anecdotely, all my pregnant friends … Say eight or so were late or on their dates by a day or so.
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Oh and Kate , please. I never stated or even implied that any of the women IN THIS THREAD were dumb — or implied that. I don’t think simply stating that I’d like to hear a medical professional’s thoughts on a medical issue is exactly a radical notion.
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Moreover, I specically said that dumb LW’s were a trend here lately. And I stand by that. We’ve had some jawdropping letters here recently. And I call a spade a spade. I do hate dumb women. I hate dumb men, too. Look around, they’ve all just gleefully voted to unwittingly destroy America.
@red – travel insurance was a nightmare when I was pregnant. Most companies would insure me but not the baby or birth. They just say you’re covered. Unless you ask specifically about the baby you might not even realize. Manulife was one of the only ones that included the baby’s care in addition to the mother. Just insane. If I had my daughter in the States the bill would have exceeded $1M. I can’t even wrap my head around it.
Look at this shit. My co-worker was saying this was the flight right before hers:
Ok BGM, but it sounded like you were saying that even though we had the opinions of a bunch of women who’ve given birth and must have received a doctor’s opinion about travel, we still needed someone knowledgeable – any medical professional – to weigh in. Then you said you hate dumb women. I knew you like Carrie Fisher and Wendy, both of whom are/were smart women but are not in this thread.
I must say though — with all the INSANITY weddings inspire EVERYWHERE and soecifically around here… How many letters have we had here over the years with INSANE drama over invites and plus ones for blah blah blah … that many people are surprisingly blase’ about a guy missing his kid brother’s wedding…
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I’d love to know how recently or how long ago the wedding was thrown together. If this was thrown together in a couple of months than Tom goofed by not speaking up. But if it was planned a year or so ago then I see how he is in a tough spot.
We are blase about those letters too. The majority of advice on this site about weddings is it’s just a day. It’s just a party. Don’t go onto debt and no one will remember what your mother in law wore 2 weeks from now. Same advice for Tom. It’s just a day. Being there for your wife trumps the wedding. Very few people here are on their way to crazy town.
I think Tom’s wife is in a very tough spot, because even if she “gets her way,” Tom will blame her for “being unreasonable” and “making” him miss the wedding.
Tom’s attitude toward her really sucks. Whatever HE decides, he’d better not punish her for being hugely pregnant at an inconvenient time for him.
