Updates: “An Unsure Roomie” Responds
It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “An Unsure Roomie” whose boyfriend wanted her to move in with him in a house with 3-4 other roommates. “But I can’t shake the feeling that our first official living-together experience shouldn’t be with a bunch of strangers,” she writes. “So I’m wondering, am I making a big deal out of nothing?” Keep reading to see what they’ve decided to do about their living arrangements.
At the same time we were having that conversation, the homeowner made some decisions about the house that my boyfriend was uncomfortable with, like suddenly changing his mind on allowing pets and expecting my boyfriend to leave his cats behind, and filling two of the rooms with people my boyfriend didn’t know without telling him about it. This gave my boyfriend a little leverage to get out of moving in there without really leaving his family in the lurch, since the situation was turning out differently than the relative had promised. Things are still very tense between them and the drama has damaged my relationship with some family members who blame me for his decision, but I know that he made up his own mind and he’s happy to have, as he put it, “dodged a bullet.” He’ll be moving into the apartment when my roommate moves out, so you might just see it submitted for your “reader home tours” soon!
Thanks for the update. I’m so glad it’s all worked out for you two!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
I’ve done it. Living with a boyfriend’s brigade of roommate CAN be done but it often pushes you into being roommate yourselves. Living together should make you feel like partners, equally sharing a home..
Good on you! Good to hear it worked out! 🙂
Great update LW. I’m glad you ended up doing what is best for you. And in the end, it happened to work out in your favor.
So he’s not only considerate to how you feel and understood completely where you’re coming from, but he also has concerns for his family and wanted to help out. Yet he’s also smart enough to recognize when a situation is potentially asking for trouble and committed to you to realize that he wants to live with you all along? LW, you got yourself a keeper. Glad to hear it worked out. 🙂
Now here is an example of good communication. I’m glad someone knows how to do it.
Yay! I’m so glad this worked out well!
His family sure sounds like a great one to marry into…
Nicely done, be wary of the family.
His family does not sound like the best, but he definitely does. I’m really happy it all worked out for you LW.