Updates

Updates: “At a Parental Crossroads” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “At a Parental Crossroads” who wondered if she should move away from her kids to pursue her dream of becoming a geologist at a school in her hometown, or move with her military ex-husband and children to an area that doesn’t have any schools with the degree she’s interested in. After the jump, find out what she decided to do.

Thank you so much for posting my letter. I was really torn as to what I should do. I had many conversations with lots of people, and took all the advice the lovely commenters posted to heart. I have decided to move, literally, with my ex to the new state. I let my place of employment know that I would be leaving in a few months and they have decided not to keep me, so I’ll be starting over. I will be driving across the country by myself, which is exciting and new, and I will be able to visit some places I have always wanted to see. Also, I did talk to my children and they expressed how much they want me to go with them, so not only am I going with them, I’ll be living with them for a bit. When I find another job I will find our new place and my ex has been super supportive through this whole ordeal. So, again, thanks to everyone who commented, I appreciate all the advice.

I’m glad you made the decision to stay with your kids. You can always pursue dreams, but you never get time back with your kids when they’re young. Good luck with your move.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

7 Comments

Addie Pray says:

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I’m happy you made this decision too, LW. I hope you will find a good, fulfilling job soon. But until then, enjoy the down time!

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Anna says:

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I think that’s an excellent decision. Dreams are great, but your kids are a reality. By choosing to go with them, you have shown them how important they are to you. Your reward will be all the new memories you make with your family!

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camille905 says:

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Yay! I’m glad that worked out. I’m also glad that even though your ex is your ex (for whatever reason), they’re awesome enough to know that having your in your kids life is the best decision for them and is being so helpful with the transition.

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sobriquet says:

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THANK YOU for staying with your kids. You’ve saved them from many years of therapy.

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bittergaymark says:

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Wow. How unusual! I mean this is a truly delightful update! Marred only by the typical lameness of your former workplace unceremoniously dumping you so fast and so furiously! (This is why I now always advise people NOT to be so honest with where you work…as it seldom goes rewarded.)

Fortunately, you have a great attitude and must be pleased to find that your Ex is proving so mature and so supportive. That’s truly a great place for you both to be… Seriously. Just because a marriage is over, is no reason to endlessly feud!! Especially when kids are involved. (PS — this last comment was in no way aimed at you, just tossing it in as an aside to others…)

Have a great drive across the country… If you happen to be near Utah, be sure to check out Arches National Park! Or Sabino Canyon in Tucson, Arizona is stunning and NOT to be missed.

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1. MovingAgain says:
  
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  Wow from me too! I’ve been lurking on this site since it’s beginning and I am flattered that BGM is happy 🙂 I won’t be going through Utah, but Arizona is on my list, I’m trying to stay away from the border, eh, but we’ll see. Two places that I just have to go to are Roswell, NM, just because you can’t drive across the country without an alien picture, and New Orleans. My mom might be coming with me and isn’t to keen on NOLA, but I’m hoping to talk her into it. If you have any other advice on places to visit across the South let me know!!
  
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  1. bittergaymark says:
    
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    Tucson is 60 miles north of the border… If you’ve never seen Saguaro cacti, then it’s REALLY worth a stop. If your mom is coming, it’s a super easy hike. There is a tram that drives up the canyon seven miles and then you can walk back down, downhill. It’s very pleasant. Numerous stops along the way, too so you can hike as long or little as you like…