Updates: “Unsure, Myself” Responds
It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Unsure, Myself” who wrote it way back in May of 2011 asking for advice about whether she should move on from her boyfriend of a year and a half. After a messy divorce, he was unsure about whether he wanted to ever get married again and have kids. “I want to have a family some day. I would take him at his word concerning marriage and family, but his word is ‘unsure.'” (Similar to a column from a couple weeks ago). Keep reading to see if she decided to stay with him and how she’s doing today.
I stayed with the same boyfriend for another year. I clung to it, because I felt that it was as good as I ever was going to get, and of course because I loved him and thought that should be enough.
I have since moved on, a few years ago actually. I do not regret having stayed with him, because being in that relationship helped me learn to recognize good (or bad) relationships. It made me much clearer about what I wanted in life and in a partner. It took me longer than I should have to leave, but I’m in a good place now and have an amazing life, and that was one step I had to go through to get to where I am today.
Having said that, I am not sure I would have had the courage to MOA without you and your letter writers. I owe you a debt of gratitude.
Thank you so much,
Finally sure of myself
Thank you for your update, and best wishes for continued happiness!
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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
Congrats on the clarity!
I’m glad you came to the conclusion that this was not the right relationship for you. Sometimes we need to get some input from people on the outside of a situation, but you had to find the courage yourself to leave and that’s nothing to scoff at. 🙂