Dear Wendy
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Mark, please. I willingly kept my kids home for 18 months straight to help slow the spread of covid and protect teachers and our community and my family, and then I got them fully vaccinated the very first minute I possibly could. I’ve done my job. At this point, the quarantines are incredibly disruptive for them, my children. To miss so much school after they were already isolated for 18 months is hard on them socially and academically. And for parents who work full-time (or even part-time, or even part-time from home for themselves like I do), the logistics of dealing with childcare is incredibly stressful to say nothing of everything you have to cancel when you’re kids aren’t supposed to leave their home for 1-2 weeks.
As far as “why did we even have our bratty kids if we can’t handle two weeks with them,” um, no one was counting on a fucking endless pandemic that would close schools and classrooms on a continual loop for going on two years with catastrophically disrupted schedules, mental health, learning, etc. None of this is normal or expected. Do some parents deserve wrath for being dumb and selfish? Absolutely! But if you think *I* am among those who deserve wrath (and it seems you do since your comment is directly after mine) go eat an enormous steaming bowl of dicks.
Last week, another specials teachers at the kids’ school tested cvid positive and 13 classes had to go into quarantine, including Jackson’s and Joanie’s. It was Joanie’s third quarantine in seven weeks, and jackson’s first of the school year. They’re both back in school as of yesterday, but there was another class that went back yesterday after a week-long quarantine and got got notice mid-morning that a kid in the classroom, just got a positive test result and all the parents were notified to come pick up their kids immediately and now they all have to quarantine for another eight days, as well as all the kids who rode the bus that morning with the positive case!! The stress and frustration is getting to be a bit much. But, luckily, as of tomorrow, my kids will be considered fully vaccinated (two weeks past their second vaccine shot) and won’t have to quarantine anymore when exposed to a positive case (unless it’s one of their teachers, and then the classroom will be shut for ten days). We just have to get through today with no exposure, and I am keeping everything crossed!!
I don’t think there’s anything organized around the messaging at all. I think the CDC and WHO and anyone else with credibility and a platform made a mistake with Delta and the messaging around it (like when the CDC said in May, as Delta was raging in India, that vaccinated individuals could drop masks). And now maybe those same people are over-compensating for that mistake and trying to err on the side of caution. Delta proved to be a huge set-back on our path to ending the pandemic and I would think health organizations and politicians and various leaders are loath to see the same thing happen again, especially considering how under vaccinated most of the world still is.
We really don’t know enough about Omicron right now to draw many conclusions. It appears that it could be more contagious than delta, but that’s not proven. We don’t know if it leads to more serious disease or how effective vaccines are against it. I suspect we’ll learn much more in coming days. Personally, I’m not worried at this point (for myself and my loved ones). I’m concerned for people in regions with little access to vaccines, and for kids who aren’t vaccinated yet and are going to school with little to no mitigations (which describes a majority of the world, including a big percentage of the US). As long as we have such huge pockets of under vaccinated folks, even/especially young children, we’re all at risk of more dangerous, vaccine-resistant variants developing. Whether that’s omicron remains to be seen though and I suspect, based on the tiny bit of data we have so far and on sheer hope and blind optimism, that our vaccines are effective in this case.
This happened to me with my son’s 6th bday party, which was his first drop-off party. Another mom insisted she stay, even though her son was a year older and they lived literally across the street. We also had a history of her always staying during playdates (when by then, I thought drop-off playdates made more sense; it’s exhausting to entertain someone you aren’t really friends with for two hours while your kids play and you could be getting other stuff done). All this to say that I feel you! BUT! I mean, come on. It’s one extra person. And maybe her kid is not neurotypical and really struggles in social settings (which is different than a school or daycare setting). As a parents of a neuro-atypical kid, I have also been in that position and I’m always so grateful when other parents are flexible and patient with the extra care that might be needed (on play dates, at bday parties, at sleepovers, etc).
As far as etiquette goes, you could tell her that as this is a drop-off party, she’s more than welcome to just drop her kid off, but if she prefers staying for whatever reason, you have to apologize in advance that you won’t be able to visit with her as you’ll have your hands full. She may offer to help you, and you could give her a job or two to keep her occupied (/ out of your hair) while she’s there.
They actually aren’t even my relatives; they’re my brother-in-law’s wife’s relatives. So yeah, the reward (sitting in traffic for hours and spending all day with them) wasn’t worth the risk to us, and the risk to them – whatever risk taking a test presents – wasn’t worth the reward of our glowing company. That’s fine. We’ll wait til the kids are fully vaccinated in a couple weeks and go see just my brother-in-law’s immediate family (including my kids’ cousins) without the holiday traffic or the extra people, and the four of us will have a quiet thanksgiving at home that I’ll enjoy cooking for. I’m totally fine with this!
Not purchased by us, no. The hosts have a bunch already. And I didn’t ask but I suspect the back of a rake wasn’t part of the plan. There’s an enormous and comfortable heated deck and back yard that probably would’ve sufficed.
My kids wear masks 8 hours a day five days a week and have never once complained about it, but you’re right – asking grown adults to do something super mildly inconvenient to help protect the not yet fully vaccinated is a big pain! ?♀️
That said – again, I don’t really care about the tests. It was more important to drew. But the adamant refusal is a little eye-rolling especially considering all the (much much more inconvenient) sacrifices children have made to help protect the olds.
I honestly don’t care about the rapid tests. It was more important to drew. But both of us were concerned by the adamant refusal. And I’m relieved I don’t have to spend a holiday with folks like that or to sit in traffic for hours to do so.
I forgot to add that the tests are already purchased, so cost and availability weren’t issues. I don’t know what the issue was, but the refusal seems silly to me.
We were supposed to go to my brother-in-law’s home for Thanksgiving this year (about a one-hour drive away and potentially much longer in holiday traffic) where his wife’s parents and her sister and BIL would also be attending. I wasn’t thrilled with the multi-household gathering before my kids are fully vaccinated (everyone else is vaccinated but I don’t know if they’re fully vaccinated or have had booster shots) but knew it was important to Drew and we decided the risk was worth it if everyone could take an at-home rapid test that morning just for a little more peace of mind. But all the other guests adamantly refused taking a 3-second test so we’re not going, and will have a quiet thanksgiving just the four of us at home instead, which suits me fine. Has anyone else had to adjust thanksgiving plans bc of covid?
Yeah, agreed that your anxiety isn’t unwarranted, especially considering that you’re pregnant (of COURSE you want to protect your unborn baby, as well as your unvaccinated toddler). It’s hard when you have so little control over things. Talking to your obgyn could help put some of the risk in perspective and alleviate some of your anxiety, as would some therapy.
Just anecdotally as someone who has been more anxious than average during the pandemic, as soon as my kids were able to get their first vaccine shots, my anxiety pretty much plummeted. There’s a lot of comfort in being able to do something tangible to protect your kids that doesn’t rely on the goodwill/ concern/ intelligence of others. Know that that day is coming for you (and that your own antibodies already help protect your unborn baby!).
Hope you’ll be feeling better soon!
What vaccine did you get for your booster, ktfran?
