bloodymediocrity
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
It sounds like you got scammed.
Of NikeMom’s possible answers, I really don’t see much possibility in anything but answer B.
A. If ADHD were the root cause, he’d be hyperfocused on you because you were one of the things he likes. He doesn’t seem disorganized in his life otherwise because he’s constantly focused on his studies.
C. I suppose this is possible, if his definition of being in a relationship is texting and only texting.
I know it seems like this guy is really sweet, but it’s super easy to be sweet when your communication is limited to texting. His actual actions say he’s a clueless broomhead. I suspect he enjoys flirting with you over text, but if he were really all that attracted to you he’d make an effort to actually see you.
What’s up with her? Who knows. But it’s out of your control. You’re not getting what you want from her, so it’s time to move on. You don’t need to put up with mixed messages.
There’s a lot to unpack here, and since your South Asian there’s a lot of class and cultural things that I think a lot of the mostly working and middle class American posters here might not be totally qualified to speak on.
You are terrified of change. I get it. I hate change too. But your life is pretty miserable right now, and your life could be so much better. Your wife seems awful and doesn’t really bring anything positive to the table.
Are you an equal parenting partner, or is your wife doing most of the work? Statistically, more women end up with custody of their children, but that’s only because men are less likely to seek custody at all. There’s a lot of studies that show when men seek either joint or sole custody, they are successful over a lot of the time. Based on what you’ve said here, there’s very little reason to believe that unless you totally surrender custodial rights to your child that you wouldn’t have access to your child.
I don’t want to downplay things for you: your life will change and it will be hard, but it’s necessary. You have to remember you are modelling relationships for Z. They are learning what is an acceptable way to be treated from you, and what is an acceptable way to be tolerated. You are repeating what your mother did for you by staying in a miserable relationship for the sake of supposed stability. You can bet that Z will repeat these same steps in the future if you and X continue to model them.
You have a fear of being alone. You met X during college and haven’t been alone since. Get comfortable with the idea of not having a partner.
Best of luck.
Well, I feel like you’ve already done enough things. You’ve really just got to decide if the relationship is worth saving. You’ve indulged your wrath by burning his belongings and you don’t feel any better about it. You met the mistress and don’t feel any better about this.
You need to decide what (if anything) it is that will make you okay with this. From where I’m sitting I can’t imagine how this guy can put things right with you, and you have other things going on that probably deserve more of your focus. It seems like this relationship is best left in the past.
It’s been quiet on the forum lately. How’s every doing?
I’m quite good here. That date turned in to several more and it’s great.
I’m also running an after school D&D group for middle-schoolers and I love them so much. I adore my socially awkward little weirdoes so much. You think they are so precious and then they hit you with a cutting remark that cuts you down to size.
For example, I was helping my youngest student build his character, when suddenly he gets quiet and stares at his character sheet.
“Hey bud, everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just kind of nervous.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“What if you’re like, really bad at running this game?”
I cackled inside but kept a straight face.
One thing I want to point out that no one else brought up…
But by mid-August, I needed space and finally told him about the miscarriage, saying goodbye and asking him not to reply. He responded with, “Oh darling, I’m so devastated and sorry. I’ll check myself. Take care, Monica.” His cold reply shocked and hurt me deeply.
I told him I will remove him from my contacts and asked him to remove me from his contacts, which he did and didn’t seem to have any feelings about it responding with ” Alright, my love”
In both cases here, he did what you specifically asked him to do, and then you got upset that he did it. I’m not trying to defend his actions here, but in the future when you make requests of a partner, make sure it’s actually what you want them to do. I know that sometimes that’s easier said than done, but if you tell someone you don’t want them to contact you, make sure you mean it.
Other than that, I agree with the others that there was never much hope for a relationship here thanks to its complicated origins.
Assuming you’re young here.
“How do I know if my crush likes me?”
You’re just gonna have the knuckle up and ask her. You can ask a friend of hers too, but there’s a lot of risk in that. Just do it.
“Is she flirting”
Stealing items and running away was a pretty common flirting technique the my olden days, so maybe. But then again…
“She will also act uncomfortable around me.”
You might need to elaborate more on this.
“Does she like me?”
I can’t say so with certainty, but it’s possible.
“What should I do?”
If you like her, and you think she might like you, ask her out. Worst case scenario is that she says she doesn’t like you, and then you have your answer and can put your feelings elsewhere. Best case scenario? You get to go out with the girl you like. The risk is worth the reward.
This guys seems like a grade-A jerk. He’s clearly a boundary pusher and can’t see you as a friend. If he respected you he would have self control and not ask for nudes. Not asking for nudes is a really, really, really low bar that he can’t pass over. Let this relationship sail in to the past.
My friend just bullied me in to doing it! Fingers crossed for a positive response.
When you say it like that it seems obvious 😀
So good news: A year and a half post divorce, I went on my first small, low-key coffee date this past weekend! It went well, conversation was fun and easy and at least for myself the attraction is there.
The bad news: I still don’t feel like I can actually “put myself out there”. I don’t know how to follow things up, flirt properly, or how to navigate this world. I moved way too quickly in my past and ended up married and miserable and I’m so scared of that happening again I’m afraid to actually like anyone.
Stuff to work on in therapy, I guess.
No, going to this funeral is totally normal.
Is it a little weird he omitted the detail about them dating and him losing his v-card to her? Yeah, a bit. But if you have a history of jealousy there may be a pretty good reason for doing so.
Either way, let the man pay his respects.
