Copa
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We literally found out an hour ago that you contacted her. Up until then, we only knew that you’d had the dog for a week, had done nothing to return it, and were refusing to unblock her despite putting her in this situation in the first place.
What was the other post you made on here? I’m super curious.
I’m not really sure what you expected. You realized you did something not okay and came to a forum you already believed was full of bullies looking for ideas on how to fix it. People agreed that what you did was wrong, suggested you do the one thing you are able to do under the circumstances (with tips for doing so safely), and suggested therapy. You repeatedly protested that suggestion even though the situation YOU created doesn’t lend itself to any great or easy fixes.
I don’t know a single person who would continue to engage with a stranger with mental health issues/on drugs after that person made them feel unsafe. Nothing good would come of that. I can understand stopping to see if you can offer any sort of help initially, but not anything past the point where you realized you may be endangering yourself.
Sure, I’ve made mistakes. Quite a few! But I’ve never made a mistake that ended with me being in possession of someone else’s property.
And yes, I help people! I volunteer through organizations I care about and/or donate money to them. I have offered food, money, and/or things like the gloves off my hands or hat off my head to the homeless. I don’t drain my bank account, make rash decisions, or try to handle their issues by myself. I have no business trying to help in this way.
I also wondered if this was made up because just about every decision you made after realizing that this woman made you feel unsafe was irrational.
I’m glad you contacted that woman and hope she gets her dog back. I also hope you will spend more time focusing on yourself and your own issues and less time taking other people’s problems into your own hands.
Omg. You wrote that you felt unsafe around her before you even exchanged numbers. So if you were willing to do that despite feeling afraid, unblock her and text her to try to get the dog back. FFS. It’s not your job to determine whether or not her dog is safe with her. I also suggest you stop “looking into options to get this girl help” because… well, you’ve proven to not be good at that. There is a simple solution in front of you, one that can be handled safely (by meeting in public, in broad daylight, with a friend) and relatively quickly, and you refuse to take it.
I do not recommend leaving a puppy tied up outside of a store!? That’s cruel to the dog.
My only point about being in a big city where I routinely see people who are mentally unstable or acting erratically is that there are safety issues at play. You simply can’t know what’s going on with them, if they might snap or be dangerous, etc. Like the man who chased someone down my street. I never claimed to know exactly what happened, I’m just surprised that you got involved despite the safety issue (moreso now that it’s clear you do understand some people can snap on a dime). But you did insert yourself into a situation and now there are unfortunately no great solutions out there. The simplest one, you have no interest in.
Yeahhh, I think you can call and ask what you can do next (not sure what kind of response you’re going to get), but nobody is going to try to track this woman down on your behalf and clean up your mess for you.
I live in a big city and see people who are mentally unwell, on drugs, etc. fairly often. My boyfriend texted me last week while I was out walking our dog alone to let me know that he had heard some commotion and looked outside to see an unhinged guy screaming and chasing a woman down our block, so he wanted me to be extra vigilant. I can absolutely imagine what this woman was like, which is why I think it was not smart to intervene in the first place, even if it was coming from a good place. The safety issue was always there.
Anyway, I hope you figure this one out because yeah, you did make kind of a mess of things where it wasn’t your place.
So I can appreciate LW’s wanting to help and not trusting the police. I support reallocating police funds so that they go to organizations/people who can help in situations like this where there are mental health, addiction, drug issues, etc. But I have had to call 911 before on someone who was unhinged and got inside my boyfriend’s old condo building. It really felt like the best solution knowing I was not trained to help in any other way. And for whatever it’s worth, everything was handled well (the cops came, assessed the situation, and called an ambulance that then took her to the hospital).
LW, I had the same thought as @Phoebe about maybe reaching out to a local organization that might have a better idea of what you should do. I also think if you meet up to give her dog back, you can do it publicly and bring someone with you if you doing so makes you feel unsafe. I agree you’re probably the more stable owner, but like it or not, you got involved where it realllly wasn’t your place to do so and the dog isn’t yours.
My goodness. I’m not sure what part you’re asking about being right/wrong, but you did a lot wrong here. I don’t think you should’ve intervened in this way. She needs actual professional help (What exactly that should look like, I’m not sure), not all your savings or a hotel room for a couple nights. What you did isn’t helpful, in my opinion. The police may have been able to do more for her than you allowed them to. They could have taken her to the hospital if that was needed and/or taken her to a shelter. Instead, you made this woman the problem of a motel, a cab driver, and another hotel — none of these people are equipped to actually help her, not even a little bit! And no, you shouldn’t have taken her dog. What on earth were you thinking?
I don’t know what you do now. You made a series of very questionable (and, IMO, bizarre) choices that got you to where you are now. You decided to intervene so maybe you call her one last time to get her dog back and THEN block her.
Next time, give a few dollars, call 911, or MYOB.
Love the dress!
An acquaintance I know who is originally from your area was supposed to marry there in June 2020. She and her now-husband rescheduled the thing twice before scrapping their plans entirely and heading on over to the courthouse. They live in SF now and City Hall there is beautiful sooo hopefully they’re not too disappointed. The wedding looked like it was going to be large and very fancy.
We’re going to a wedding on Friday for my boyfriend’s cousin. I’m told it’ll be small and the venue is covered outdoors… we’ll see how that goes. I have a mask with sequins on it that I call my “fun mask” and I’m going to bring/wear that. I actually don’t know if his cousin was supposed to get married last year but had to reschedule or if this was always the plan. They’re late 30s so in general aren’t making a huge fuss from what I can tell.
My understanding is that the CDC was tracking breakthrough cases until last spring and at that point, only started tracking breakthrough cases that led to hospitalization. So any time I’ve read that breakthrough cases are rare based on CDC data, I’ve understood this to mean that breakthrough cases that lead to hospitalizations are rare. That I do believe to be true.
My cousin is an example of someone who would not have known that she was exposed to/contracted COVID but for the fact that she lives in the Bay Area, where they have some kind of opt-in reporting/tracking system that will notify you if someone in your vicinity self-reported a confirmed case. She opted in and received a notification. That’s the only reason she knew to get tested. I have no doubts that there are plenty of asymptomatic breakthrough cases out there as well as people with very mild symptoms that don’t bother to test for it.
So the boyfriend and one of my cousins are both younger, childless, don’t-do-much people who still got breakthrough COVID. A few coworkers have had breakthrough cases as well, but they have kids and I’ve assumed that was why. The boyfriend’s sister is a teacher in a red state so it seemed like it seemed like it was just a matter of time before she got sick. I hadn’t heard the 1 in 5,000 number, but based on what I’m seeing/hearing in my own life, breakthrough cases don’t seem that rare.
