Copa
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“The reason why I get annoyed sometimes is that the dog really loves me and as a result sleeps on my legs, near me etc and that causes an issue when I need some space in bed.”
So, this was my boyfriend’s issue with my dog. I’m a bad sleeper, I toss and turn. He sleeps like a vampire, so the dog would always sleep on or up against his legs, but my boyfriend was uncomfortable at night/his sleep was disrupted with a nearly 40lb fluffball in his space. He told me, and I was a bit sad to give the dog the boot at night, but I understood and it was fine. It wasn’t and never became a point of resentment, but for you, the dog issue sounds like the tip of the iceberg.
With more context, I think your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. Equal in partnerships doesn’t always look like 50/50 but you guys both seem to be keeping score. Couples counseling really does seem like the only potential solution here, but yes, it doesn’t sound like this is going to work.
So I got the impression this is about more than just the dog…? LW says her fiance doesn’t like that LW controls things/makes unilateral decisions. So, I mean, ARE you this way LW? You don’t refute it but you also don’t give any other examples. I assumed there are bigger issues at play than just a dog in the bed. (And if this is not objectively true, it’s problematic that he thinks this about you.) And yes, the comments about how you’re essentially planning to be horrible during pregnancy are odd. You don’t sound compatible or like good partners to one another.
I love my dog and we’re probably weirdly attached to each other. I got him as a puppy before I met my now-boyfriend, so he used to sleep in my bed with me. When the boyfriend used to sleep over at my place, he didn’t complain about the dog in my bed. When we moved in together last fall, he said it was uncomfortable for him for a permanent sleeping arrangement. The dog now sleeps in his own bed. We got there without any drama.
I just got caught up on this threat. While I generally agree with everyone, these are the exact same comments that were made, what — a year and a half ago? I really think Robert needs to first acknowledge there’s a good deal of inner work to be done, beliefs that need to be challenged, and find a therapist he meshes with. And then stick with it long enough to do that work, which won’t/can’t happen if there’s no genuine acknowledgement that something needs work, and honestly? I’m not really sure there is. I say this as kindly as is possible and as someone who doesn’t think she would’ve met a nice, good guy online without the help of a therapist (who really helped me over the course of several years with mindset and figuring out what I really wanted out of my relationships). I hope you are able to find a therapist that offers a variety of payment options, Robert. I know it can be expensive if you do not have insurance but I believe many offers ways to make their services affordable (e.g., sliding scale fees).
I was bummed I didn’t like the Madewell jeans enough to pull the trigger. The fit was otherwise great but I thought I’d be uncomfortable sitting down or bending over in a pair of jeans that are so hit well above my belly button. Maybe I should’ve taken a pair home to wear around the house for an afternoon to see.
I need new sunglasses in a terrible way. I always buy cheaper ones because I used to lose or break them constantly. I’d go to TJMaxx or a similar store and try pairs on until I found an inexpensive pair that fit well, and that’d be it. My current go-to pair are very scratched up. I might even buy a “nice” pair from a real glasses store this time because I’ve had my current pair for years now, so I think I’m past the losing/breaking phase. I also just don’t feel comfortable at this point going into a store like TJMaxx and putting glasses on my face without knowing if they’ve been sanitized.
Also, I got a free travel sized BADgal BANG! mascara at Sephora last week and whoa! I really like this one.
So I’ve never tried their T-shirts, but I’ve heard good things about Madewell’s. A new Madewell just opened a few blocks away from me and I actually went in and tried on a pair of jeans, which I’d also heard good things about. I was a size smaller there than my norm. The fit of the pair I tried was great but the rise was too high for me. I’m on the petite side. Their shorter inseam was great but I don’t need jeans with an 11” rise.
A “lifestyle blogger” I follow recently showed a great one piece swimsuit from J. Crew. She’s mid-sized and it’s super flattering on her. My boyfriend’s family is having a pool party next month and I might order it to see if it works as well for me. I’d like a new suit that I feel more confident in for the summer while I shed my pandemic weight.
Got many compliments on my hair at the baby shower. 🙂
I haven’t tried Prose and to my knowledge don’t know anyone who has. I’ve tried high- and low-end shampoos and I have never tried a pricier shampoo that felt worth the money to me, so I just use Kirkland brand from Costco. Ha! Anyway, I say treat yo-self and go for it. If it’s not worth the hype or the money, don’t repurchase.
I’m on my way to a baby shower but wanted to report that my hair looks fab today. Used the round brush attachment, then the small barrel attachment to touch up pieces around my face. I’m wearing a casual dress and sandals with a low heel. After over a year or going basically nowhere, I feel majorly dressed up today.
My hair is pretty thick. I used the round brush and the left half looked great, the right half looked… not bad but not quite right. Ha. It’s raining today and I’m not on camera for work, so doesn’t matter.
I’ve never heard of the Wonder Water but I’ll look into it!
Got my haircut earlier this week and used the Dyson for the first time this morning. This cut has way more layers than before, when I didn’t have many except around my face, so I feel like I’m back on a learning curve.
I also found it curious that you stopped speaking to a therapist because you stopped dating. That kind of internal self-work isn’t quick and you seem to be treating it like something you can do in June or July to be “fixed” to date successfully by August. Yes, dating is discouraging, but you still don’t understand why women might hop on one call or go on one or two dates and say no thank you — because you still don’t see women as people with their own dating criteria. This is an example of something you could’ve been working through in therapy. It took me about a year of regular sessions to really feel like I’d made progress and take a step back from going as often.
My company is also giving employees who provide proof of vaccination a small amount of money. Not sure how common this is.
I’m fine staying home a bit longer even though I’m not a fan of full-time WFH, but I’m bored/frustrated of our town hall meetings in which they really don’t say much of anything. They keep saying they’re working on a formal WFH policy, but I don’t understand why this is taking so long to decide and tell us what that’ll look like. We’re not a big company.
Well, we just had a town hall-style meeting at work. Still no updates on going back to the office. I thought they might announce our HQ going back (restrictions/reopening plans have been different in the city our HQ is in vs. where I live, so I assumed they’d go back first), but they didn’t. My company typically holds events fairly regularly and sounds like they’re currently tentatively planning an in-person outdoor event in September. We’ll see how that goes. I noticed on the call that one of my coworkers, our office manager who I think goes into our regional office a couple times/week, was using my office, which I was surprised to find kinda bugged me. She has the entire place to herself and there were/are a couple vacant offices.
