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Oooh, has SIL decided yet? Or is she too busy crying and complaining to make a decision. I don’t think she’d get married locally — Disney or bust — but no feelings about whether she’d deal with the restrictions or push the wedding out another year or longer.
I went to a pretty informal virtual baby shower over the weekend. It was nice to “see” people but man am I over virtual hangouts. I don’t think I can do as many virtual hangouts as I did last year even though my winter blues are kicking in hard.
So out of curiosity, to those who moved in together pre-marriage but didn’t combine finances, how did you handle bills? Right now we’re saving receipts and settling up at the end of every month, but feels like there’s gotta be an easier, more efficient way. We’ve been talking about opening a joint checking account where we both deposit an agreed upon amounts of money once or maybe twice/month and then we can use the card to pay for the things we split equally, like groceries, but we haven’t done that yet. Even if we get married, I don’t know that we’d fully combine finances… I could see us having yours, mine, and ours accounts still. But trying to think if there’s anything I’m overlooking that would make a joint account too risky pre-marriage.
Yeah, I think I’m now doing a light version of dry January. I had a couple glasses of wine on Saturday night. I’m now going back to weekend drinks only, which is more or less how I operated pre-COVID. I’ll probably have a drink on Wednesday. I’m already counting down the hours until Trump is out of the office.
I was going to do dry January, but that went out the window on the 6th. But I’ve cut back quite a bit this month. I feel different and better in the morning if I had, say, a cup of tea at night vs. a glass or two of wine, which motivates me to continue opting out of alcohol (or at least drinking less!). I can tell my sleep is better, I feel more rested, I wake up with more energy. Food is similar. We made our own Detroit-style pizzas the other night, then got lazy and kept reheating leftovers all weekend. Today I feel bloated and not my best and I know exactly why. Anyway, all this to say, I think when people pay attention to what makes them feel their best, it’s easier to build sustainable healthier habits.
Also, I’ve been making a lot of smoothies, and I’ve been loving the following combo: Silk protein almond & cashew milk (I usually use 1/2 to 1 cup, depending on how much I’m making), a small banana (not frozen!), berries, and a handful of spinach or kale. The cashew milk and banana make it taste like a creamsicle, which I personally love. If you add a lot of greens, the smoothie turns an unappealing grey but still tastes great.
@TheLadyE I got caught up on this thread last night and I’m sorry you’re struggling. I know it can feel bad to be “unfriended” on social media. I usually just “silence” people if I don’t want to see what they’re posting about. You can always try to talk things out with your friend if that feels right, but take a break from social media if you need to — it’s not real life! I also agree you should sit out the wedding.
You also seem pretty focused on others who are taking risks that are bigger than yours. If this is to rationalize/minimize your own risk-taking behavior despite being higher risk, I think you need to stop. Focus on yourself and your own behavior.
And my two cents re: feeling uncomfortable, sluggish, and weight. Focus on behaviors, not outcomes. Pay attention to how your food makes you feel. Too much takeout or junk food always make me feel sluggish and gross. Focus on movement that makes you feel good. I think oftentimes when people start trying to punish themselves with foods they don’t even like because they’re healthy or movement they hate because it’s how they think they’ll get to where they want to be, but that’s usually unsustainable. You can straight up just take your dogs on great walks. Get enough sleep, drink water.
A teacher friend of mine sent me this article and some of you with children (or even without) may find this interesting: https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/new-study-explores-risk-played-by-children-in-covid-spread-a-b0a90b6f-1d21-41e8-a2d0-13751aa3ce09?utm_term=OZY&utm_campaign=pdb&utm_content=Saturday_01.16.21&utm_source=Campaigner&utm_medium=email. An Austrian study about COVID in school children has some not-too-surprising findings. Like that we need to lay to rest the myth that children are immune to/not spreading COVID and that schools are contributing significantly to community transmission.
ETA: The friend who sent it to me is a teacher in Chicago, where some teachers did not report back to school for in-person teaching due to safety concerns. They were then locked out of their remote teaching accounts and having their pay docked. In one instance, a teacher decided to stay remote (didn’t have any students sign up for in-person learning) and was still locked out of her remote teaching account, just for a sub to be hired (who then taught the class remote…). Anyway, this is all a huge mess here.
@MoneyPenny I’ve also heard Latisse works. This would be a shorter-term solution, but there’s a former hairdresser whose videos I sometimes watch on YouTube for hair styles and tips, her name is Kate and her channel is called The Small Things Blog. She’s branched out from just hair and I guess is now a beauty/style influencer. She’s blonde and has very sparse/light eyebrows and I’ve noticed she has to draw her eyebrows. Her product recommendations may help you find brow products that work for you until a serum does.
My brow hairs can get long and kinda curly? I trim sometimes and brush them daily. They’re dark, so just brushing them to be tidy, they look ok. One of the brow ladies at a Benefit once told me my eyebrows were a few hairs from perfect and it felt like the highest compliment, haha. When I use a pencil to fill in the sparse ends, they still look like my brows but better. An old coworker had these beautiful, thick eyebrows that I always assumed were her natural brows with a small bit of help until the first time I saw her without them and realized she probably put quite a bit of effort in every morning but was great at faking them.
I’ve seen on social media that eyebrows brushed straight up seems to be some kind of trend. I think it looks unnatural and not very nice. But to each their own. I’ve never seen anyone with that lewk in person.
I’ve wondered if an under eye brightening cream might be good for me. I don’t love my undereye circles and have found some concealers in colors meant to correct the look for dark circles (like Erase Paste), but I find them all just okay. Nothing has wowed me.
And regarding over plucked eyebrows, it took me basically my entire junior year of college to grow my eyebrows back. It was so nice to look normal and natural after looking surprised for years. 😉 That was probably around the age that I finally realized that you look the best when you work with what you naturally have. I hated having fuller eyebrows for so long and now I like it. I’m glad I don’t have to wake up and draw them on.
And yeah, add me to the list of people who doesn’t like to bother with beauty as much as I get older. I LOVED playing with make-up and hair in my mid-20s. Now? Eh, I’ll put in that kind of effort when I need to, very rarely “just because” anymore. I’m happy with a low effort “my face but better” look for everyday.
Other products I like/use:
– It Cosmetics CC cream for “everyday” coverage
– Estee Lauder DoubleWear foundation for “fancy day” coverage (does. not. budge. This stuff was amazing for days that I’d have to work all day and then do a quick outfit change in a bathroom before going to a cocktail hour + sit-down dinner for work), but it’s pricey
– Tarte Shape Tape concealer
– Hoola bronzer
– Milani blush
– Jordana mascara (I can find this brand at some Walgreens and for me it rivals just about any higher end mascara I’ve tried for like $3-4/tube), for higher end, I like Roller Lash
– Wet & Wild eyeshadows have treated me very well over the years
– I’m not a lipstick person, but I have received so many compliments on my Bite Beauty lipstick in the color Chai… it was a freebie mini from Sephora and like every woman in my family ran out to get it after I wore it to a weddingETA: The CoverGirl orange tube Lash Blast was my go-to for years! A lot of people love the Maybelline Great Lash mascara but it didn’t work well for me at all.
I use/like the Anastasia Perfect Brow Pencil. They have two auburn shades and one might work for you, @LadyE. They’re not cheap, but the pencil lasts me a long time. My eyebrows are naturally on the defined side except at the very tips, so I need very little product and only to fill in the ends. I know that brand also has a brow gel, but I’ve never tried it.
In high school and college, thin eyebrows were very much in style and I basically tweezed mine all off and OMG it was so bad. I’m so glad they grew back!
Even though I used to subscribe to Birchbox years back, I HATE those little sample products that I often find myself with. I rarely reach for any of them and they’ve become a big part of my make-up clutter problem. I reach for a relatively small handful of items but have an entire bathroom drawer of make-up and application tools. And some of it is pretty old and gross.
@TheLadyE My mascara often transfer to my upper eyelid. My eyelashes are long, so it happens while my mascara is drying and there’s nothing I can really do about it. I know it happens so I’m mindful to check for it and wipe it off. My boyfriend has also learned to alert me when it happens. I’ve thought about doing an eyelash tint so that I don’t have to worry about mascara anymore. The only eyeliners I like (and the only ones that stay put on me) are gel-based. I only wear eyeliner when I’m feeling fancy, and that’s not often. You may just need to try different formulas to find products that work well for you.Re: Makeup at work, I see a mixed bag. One of my coworkers is a few years older than I am, only wears mascara, and looks great. Another coworker always comes in bare faced and honestly, I think she looks tired and make-up would help with that, but not my business and it’s not a big deal. She’s a busy mom, she has more important things to worry about. The executive director once made a sarcastic comment about her hair (it was a 90-something degree day with high humidity, so her hair was particularly frizzy that day) and I was appalled he’d say anything.
I always thought I was in a minority of women who did use foundation often. My mom and probably most of my friends aren’t full-face-of-makeup people. But again, who cares? It’s my face. I’ve seen women camping or on hiking trails with full faces of make-up. I’ve seen women mostly bare faced at weddings. This is very much a “you do you” area of life.
I need to do a big make-up purge to get rid of everything that’s either expired or that I never reach for.
I’ve used the Dr. Jart BB cream but didn’t like it. It offered good coverage, but the formulation was thick and felt heavy on my face. I didn’t like the color, either. This was like six year ago maybe and if I recall correctly, it was one of those products that advertised itself as a universal shade that would match your skin. But I’d put it on and look pale, pasty, sickly. I remember always thinking to myself that I looked dead when I put it on. Maybe the formulation has changed since then, but I didn’t repurchase and doubt I even finished the tube.
