hfantods

Congrats Hizzy!!!

I just reread everything about your sister, @theladye. I mean the whole situation is too much drama too early on, but I could see how she maybe would want to test this out until it became a major deal breaker. Just something she will have to learn from and maybe his parents will accept her, who knows. But you wrote: “And then he got snarky when she said she was hanging out with one of her guy friends, like “OK go date him, I see how you are.” Like among everything else, WTF. It’s not just immaturity. It’s early verbal abuse.

That is terrifying @ver! I tend to do a light Google, see if they exist, thank you LinkedIn. I don’t think I’d catch court records though.

@Hizzy, glad your back is recovering and sending you good vibes 🙂 Thanks, this is how I’m feeling right now. I’m going to let myself fall and be open.

On paper, he’s what I’m looking for, and I don’t mean that in a bad way, just, he’s a good person (from what I know at least, ha). I’m not a definite out. So I’m going to have to let myself be vulnerable to see how this goes. Even with my friends, I don’t tell one person everything about me. So it’s different for me to open up.

I know the following is a little weird with the timing of my last post and now, but we had a good night yesterday just relaxing at his place. I felt really comfortable. So I confirmed that we were exclusive and yeah, we are. We started touching base on Christmas gifts — which if we’ve been seeing each other for 2.5 months and Christmas is 1.5 months away, I guess that’s cool in terms of “rules”, ha ha. I’m driving him to the airport tomorrow as he’s going to be away for a couple weeks for work (yeah, maybe that is partially why I brought up the “exclusivity talk”). Feeling pretty girlfriend-y. I also made him a playlist for the flight. Hahaha, can you tell I’m living out all my high school relationship dreams right now. So I’m content 🙂

Hope you’re all having a good weekend 🙂

I’m feeling a little angst with M.G. I just ask that you don’t be too judgmental or critical, but if you also have general advice that would be helpful.

We spent the whole weekend together. On Sunday morning an hour before he was going to meet my sister and BIL for a casual lunch, we were sitting on his couch and he asked me, “Is there anything I can do to make you happier? Because you make me happy.” When I was silent for a few moments, he said, “That’s a loaded question. Forget I asked that.” And I think he didn’t mean any negative connotations or anything, he just wants to make me happy but not overwhelm me.

I’m angsting because there have been moments of “maybe I should break this off”. There’s no real reason except maybe I’m not as physically attracted to him as I want to be and his scent is different to what I’m used to, but the physical parts of our relationship are fun and good. And I do find parts of him sexy. Also, when we were eating breakfast that morning, there were moments of silence and I panicked that we don’t connect on an emotional level. But we talk a lot about various things, and we’ve been in moments of silent before. I hope to chalk that up to still being tired. Overall, the physical attraction part is shallow, but just a “not feeling it anymore” is a legitimate reason to end a relationship. But I’m not ready to end it either.

The moment he asked that question I had the urge to just break it off. But I didn’t want to be rash and it wasn’t that he was just about to meet my sister and I’d be embarrassed because she’d be fine with it. It just seemed like a bad thing to do then in the heat of the moment without thinking it through. So I said “I like you and I like spending time with you. I think that my level of feelings to you are not the same as you express and that’s a concern.” And he said that was OK. And that he does express his feelings more, but that’s how he is.

So we “kissed and made up” and lunch with my sister was pretty good. Everyone’s pretty nice and amiable. We actually went out for food in my culture and he liked it which although not a big factor is definitely a plus.

@ktfran, you mentioned almost marrying a “nice guy” at one point. Do you mind sharing a bit more about that?

It’s only been 2.5 months. This angst is not good so early, but I’m an anxious and doubtful person. I don’t want to self-sabotage. He’s kind and good to me. He’s smart and funny. I like that he’s more country and I’m more city, and I learn a lot from him. Friday night he met a few more of my friends and it turned out to be all guy friends since one of my girlfriends fell ill. And I was afraid it would be awkward but it was fun! I sound a bit me doth protest too much. We had a late night Friday so Saturday night we went to bed at 9:30 and it was also great. I feel so comfortable around him. I’ve told him things I’ve never told anyone else.

And honestly, just reading about the various guys on here and just on the internet, this guy is a gem. I wouldn’t be settling. So of course that makes me hesitant to “get back in there” (I was never really in there). I don’t know if I would find someone “better”, partly because I don’t know what I want. And I’d hate if a guy felt this way about me.

Most relationships don’t last forever, but I don’t want to break this off yet, because we are still having fun together. The longer I wait the more it’ll hurt. Also maybe he’ll break it off. But also I’m looking at the months and I’m thinking ok well he’s gone for two weeks at the end of November so you will have to break up early December before Christmas. Otherwise you will have to wait until the middle of January. And that is messed up and I feel shitty for thinking things like that. I just want to “ride it out” and really know if this will happen or not and yet I don’t want to waste our time, even though most relationships don’t last forever.

@ale, I’m glad you went out with him and recognize that he’s not the guy for you right now, and that’s OK.

I had a low-key weekend. M.G. and I visited a farm. We madeout in an empty corn maze. I floated lunch with my sister and BIL and he was interested so that’ll be this weekend I think. He then invited me to his family’s Christmas gathering with cousins etc. which is in a month, so it’s not right at Christmas at least. It feels a little soon but it’ll be 3 months if we get there. His family lives two hours away so it’s seems hard to meet them without making it a “thing”. He also then mentioned he’s not sure if he can go either since he might be traveling for work. But yeah, still seeing where this goes! He’s meeting a few more of my friends this week too.

Any updated from you folks? @ver? @copa, did you go on a second date with that guy?

Thanks Hizzy and Copa 🙂 We’ve chatted about high school (I think I got that from you a while ago too!). These are all sort of questions we have chatted about which is reassuring! Wrt vacation he actually talked about what islands I’d want to visit and places we want to travel to, and then a few moments later he taked about how he needs to start planning vacation for next year. I mean I don’t think we are really thinking about vacations together at this point but that sure planted a seed.

Yay @lucie!! This makes me feel so warm and happy.

Your weekend sounds spooktacularly awesome @Cleo!!