Kate
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That’s the worldwide situation, yes. I’m happy if it’s not like that for Australian sex workers, but I feel like everyone is smoking some weird shit if they think most sex workers have it any kind of good.
Fine, Ange, I said a couple of times that legal brothels may not be as bad. And you’re completely missing my point if you think I’m demonizing the women.
They have lived together for 2 months, after having been pushed into marriage by their family (presumably because she was pregnant). And she felt like she didn’t know him at all, and she was weirded out enough to snoop through his Facebook. On what planet is that a happy marriage?
Um no, that’s not emasculating. You should do that.
Have you ever paid??
80% have been raped, 8-10x a year on average. That’s not vapid or hysterical, it’s a statistic.
I didn’t say anything about disease other than that it’s obviously a hazard of the job.
Also, I’m not sure that it’s been established that he DID go to legal brothels and have adult consensual sex with women over 18 – has it? He could at least tell her that much.
They’ve only been married a year, and only lived together a month, so I’m not sure how much of a happy foundation they had built up, and she was freaked out enough about his refusal to talk about a whole period of his life that she snooped. While that wasn’t the right thing to do, now she knows this about him, and if he cares about the marriage, I do think he needs to discuss it.
If my husband was uncomfortable about my refusal to talk about a whole period of my life and felt like he didn’t even know me, I hope he’d sit me down and we’d discuss it. If I was still like, nope, I’m not going to even discuss that period of my life, and he reacted by snooping, I’d be really f’ing pissed, but I’d also realize we had a big problem we need to deal with as a couple. If he discovered something as a result of snooping that totally changed his view of me, then that sucks, but if I care about our future together, I can’t just be like, sorry asshole, you snooped, I’m still not ever going to discuss this with you, so go figure it out on your own. Wtf?
Worldwide, 1 in 15 prostitutes are trafficked / slaves.
The AVERAGE age prostitutes start is 13.
80% of prostitutes have been raped. On average, they are raped 8-10 times per year. They are the most raped class of women in the history of the planet. Anyone want to keep talking about consensual, harmless adult sex in this context?
Aaaand, the pimps are the ones taking home all the money.
Also, 1 in 10 guys have paid for sex. That means 90% never have. And let that sink in… it’s that 10% of guys who are raping all these women. That Guardian article I linked to doesn’t paint a nice picture of them either… they tend to know these women may be slaves and trafficked but don’t care.
This is an interesting read, and speaks to the guilt and shame your husband might feel.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes
Justification behind his going to brothels? Well, you have a bunch of people’s opinions about it, which you can certainly consider, but what really matters is how YOU feel about it. If you’re disturbed, disgusted, disappointed, disillusioned, whatever, and you try to sweep it under the rug, that won’t work. Your feelings will still be there, and as you bottle them up, over time they come out in different unhealthy ways and erode your marriage. That’s what happens. It also matters what HE says about it, which, at the moment is nothing. I don’t know how you’re going to get past this without talking about it and both of you trying to understand the other ones point of view and feelings. You can’t even talk to your husband, or you feel he’d get mad and leave you. This is where a professional can help you sort out what your feelings actually ARE and how to talk to your husband.
Without getting to the point where you know how you feel and can express it and have a conversation where you learn how he feels, and figuring out together how to rebuild trust, your marriage is pretty much done.
Stripping is not the same thing at all.
I’m not saying they’re all slaves. I’m saying that if they’re doing that, it’s because that’s probably their only choice. They don’t have other prospects. Julie, you really think they’re there because, like, they could get an office job but they just like fucking for money?
