Kate
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I got my first job via an introduction my mom’s friend made, my second through a friend of mine from grad school, my third through a recruiter (I think I was recommended to him by someone), and that’s where I’ve been since. I’m actually starting a job search now and my first steps have been to reach out to people I worked with in the past who are at new companies. Next will be to find a couple of good recruiters.
Isn’t it 9 out of 10 jobs never even get posted? That’s why I’d use my network of past colleagues, and also get recruiters working for me. Do you have any recruiters you’re working with?
Yeah, I may look into it more. Like if it was a legit attempt to connect, why wouldn’t he message me through the app so I’d know who he is, or at least link to his profile? For now, my husband just replied to the email and told him he knows who and where he is and not to contact his wife or any other women in that manner. That seems to work with creeps. They back right off when a man steps in. Pathetic but true.
I bet he’s mass-emailing a lot of women. Lmk if you all get one!
It annoyed me because I am starting to look for another job and I’d like the process to be as bullshit-free as possible.
Oh, good idea.
But actually what’s really creepy is that he didn’t message me through LinkedIn, he emailed me directly, so he’d have to know my personal email address. Which is NOT public. His was a gmail address like [email protected]. But I don’t know who he is on LinkedIn or if he’s even on there – there are 5 profiles with that name, which could be a made up name anyway. Super creeper.
Look at this fucking shit I just got in my email from some loser I’m not connected with and whose profile I’ve never seen. Oh, you don’t intend to use LinkedIn as a dating service? Then DONT, and please slam your head in the car door, creep.
Hi,
It was nice connecting with you on Linkedin. I was actually searching for an acquaintance when I came across your profile. I must confess you are pretty, very pretty and this is me being honest not just mere flattery .I hope no offence is taken, I understand this is a business networking medium and not a dating or social networking website and I don’t intend to use it for one.
You caught my eye, I am interested in communicating more and sharing more about me with you and hope to learn more about you too that is if you are single and interested in communicating further. I do believe everything is possible if we put our mind and heart together just like i believe that good things can be found in the least places. Let me know if you’re willing to communicate more and I will write you to tell you more about myself.
Warm regards and hope you are having a great weekend.
Danny
Miss Manners doesn’t think it’s tacky to have a registry. She thinks it’s tacky to write “no gifts, please.”
I did grow up in a household with all of Miss Manners’ books on the shelf, and I liked reading them as a kid. I definitely don’t remember this situation being addressed. Nor do I see any advice on this in a quick online search *with the exception of a jeweler’s website* that wants your business, haha. I assume that’s because no one has felt the need to ask this question… they either know their mom would be honest with them and feel comfortable asking, or they figure, like I do, that it would put mom in a tough spot and is rude.
I wrote: “I feel like a diamond needs to be offered, not asked for.”
Not “A diamond should always…”
That’s nice how you picked out just my comments from 6 pages of comments *and* misquoted me.
I guess, reading your last update, I’m wondering if he’s actually your boyfriend. Does he refer to himself that way, or you as his girlfriend? Or was it just like, you told him you adore him, you started dating, and you never talked about it?
It sounds like he’s home one week a month and is doing a ton of stuff during that week. Seeing you is one of many things he does. Then he’s on the road 2 weeks and vacation another week, and sometimes you don’t hear from him for a couple days.
And the travel is getting MORE frequent. And last summer he tried to slow things down with you. And people are telling you to “be patient” and that maybe you’re “too deep” for him. These are all signs that, at the very least, you’re a lot more serious about this than he is. And it is concerning that you’re assigning all kinds of feelings to him that you don’t know are really what he feels.
It seems like, if the friendship was so strong, you could go back to being friends if a relationship doesn’t work out. But no?
Nicole, do you have kids already? Or other obligations besides your job that keep you local?
Actually, this is interesting too:
“…a sweet man who seems to want two lives. When I simply want one. Let’s make a plan and do this. Or a plan to let him go back to dating himself.”
Earlier you were saying you were good with his lifestyle, you just wished he wouldn’t go on quite so many trips without you. Now it sounds like you either want him around all the time, playing a certain role (what?), or you want to be sharing this lifestyle with him, which you can’t because of your local job.
What do you actually want?
How do you know this:
“And a year into dating, things are starting to feel real to him. Freak out time.”
Did he tell you that? Did someone else tell you that? Or is it a guess?
I had dinner last night in NJ with two co-workers I’ve never met in person – a guy who’s 34 or 35 and a woman who could be as young as 25, 26. He said there was never any coke around when he was in college; she said it was everywhere.
I feel like there are senior people at work who use it daily, but no proof.
