Kate

What a couple of dicks! With the pilot, it sounds like he made up the whole Middle East job thing, leaving you to wonder wtf was going on for almost a week while he was supposedly out of the country.

And then the other one, to abruptly break up via text early on a Monday morning after 2.5 months, rude AF. It does seem like the Tinder mentality has taken over online dating and really increased ghosting and flaking rates.

I think it’s weird because it’s out of character for this guy, who texts and face times throughout the day and calls almost daily.

Do nothing, IMO. Maybe a “hope you got there safe!”

Like, what’s going on? What’s the latest with the job offer, tell me about it, etc. Those are the initial questions. From there you could calmly ask if he wasn’t able to call before he took off. Basically find out the latest and take it from there. Before throwing a bomb at him via text.

If you haven’t already, I would not send him a reactionary inflammatory message. Cool off before talking to him. This COULD all be on the level. On the other hand, yeah… In spite of 4 hours distance and a completely inconsistent schedule, he was eager to be exclusive after a few dates… That’s a bit of a warning sign. And this “omg I suddenly have to fly to the Middle East! No time to talk! Bye!” looks a bit questionable. I personally would chill until you have a chance to talk, stay calm, ask the right questions, figure it out.

If a guy doesn’t text you after a first date, or reply to your thank-you text, he isn’t interested. He’ll probably respond if you text him about a date you talked about (shame) or if you ask him out, but you can always tell that he’s not interested if he isn’t proactively texting you soon after the date. Cue 5 people telling me they went on a date with a guy, never heard from him, got him to agree to a second date, and now they’re married, but I still say if he’s not reaching out, he’s not into you.