Kate
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I was 36 and my husband was 41 when we met. He was in his late 30s by the time he stopped being a serial dater and kind of a dick or “bad boy” and actually started looking for a solid relationship and using Match. And – this is key – dating age appropriate women. He was no longer a hot-shit elite athlete at that point… “Retired” from that level of competition at 35 or 36, and a little after that he started to focus much more on career. If we’d met sooner I don’t see how it would have worked.
The needing to get home early to play video games with roommate thing is the key here. It renders the going Dutch thing moot. If a guy said that to me I would think, ok, he must not be interested because what guy would try to leave a promising date situation early with a lame excuse like that? And then, knowing he’s not interested in me or in making a good impression, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he suggested splitting the check. In fact, I’d already have my money down on the table and be thinking about my bubble bath.
I met a guy in 1992 who, it turned out, couldn’t function as an adult. In 2002 I went total opposite and met a guy who functioned overly well as an adult but we couldn’t stand each other. In 2012 I met a guy who can function as an adult and we are pretty much the same person. It seems to be working out well. What I have not broken type on though is the tall, big dick thing.
OH! Hahahahahaha!!!!
Oh, I read that it was unwanted attention.
Exactly. Delete and done.
If you’re paying for Match and you use filters, they shouldn’t send you emails regarding people outside your parameters. If you don’t pay for filtering then you get all that crap and have to filter it yourself. But the guy isn’t a jerk for being interested.
Why shouldn’t an older dude be interested in a younger woman? He can dream, right? It’s not like he sent you an unsolicited dick pic.
It does come close to telling people not to post / write 😉
I agree this thread gets overly “you go girl!” at times. I get that it’s safe, supportive place, and it should be, but you know how it’s not a good idea to always listen to your friends and sometimes an outside perspective is valuable? I think it applies. We don’t need pages of people dismissing someone’s perspective because he’s a guy who doesn’t soften his comments with girly fluff and squee.
And to be fair, when I hear meltdown I think emotional breakdown, not a few silent tears on someone’s shoulder. When I have a meltdown it’s a full on freak out. I had one last summer and stopped drinking.
I don’t think anyone said this was going to be a problem if it was a one time thing. A bunch of people correctly pointed out that if it keeps happening (hurt, tears, etc. in response to relationship glitches), that wouldn’t be healthy.
@veritek, I’m not sure to what degree that’s true, but you’ve said on these threads a few times that you just want someone to hug you and tell you it’s ok. Which is a normal feeling, but maybe needs to be resisted during those times when you’ve just got too much going on and need to get it together before actively dating.
