Kate
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I think it’s still pretty common. Women often don’t do the digging they should do to figure out if someone’s a cheater.
But nah with the women have secret families too. Where are they putting up, hiding, and supporting this second spouse and kids? And to Anon’s point, where do they have the energy after caring for their primary family all day? Like yeah maybe you can pass off one baby as your primary spouse’s kid, but that’s super risky if it doesn’t look like him and / or he knows the math doesn’t add up.
I wrote this on another thread too, but my grandmother’s younger brother died in battle in WWII, his submarine was sunk by the Japanese after it sank some of their ships. It was late 1944 and he was 23, having been in college for most of the war. Apparently in college he used to earn money by impregnating women who couldn’t conceive with their husbands. You have to wonder how much of that was going on throughout history until modern sperm donation came to be. And was it through a doctor, or just informal like he was known as a guy who would do that? And how many times did he do this? I wish I could ask my grandmother the details but she’s been gone a long time.
This is why I don’t want a family, families are fucked.
Ok, I know someone whose brother is married to a lady who came from a huge family with a lot of siblings… Two of her adult siblings are in a relationship with each other.
Yeah man, I would never get a DNA test. I don’t want to know. Fucking men and their secret families. Someone was telling me recently about a dad who had a second family across the street. The audacity.
He went to Purdue University, so there are likely a lot of people from Indiana that I’m related to.
But I don’t think any of them would know it unless we gave this Navy project our DNA. When a letter comes asking for your DNA, it’s probably always a bad idea.
So this is fucked up, my elderly aunt got a letter saying that the Navy had identified her as the niece of this guy who went down with a submarine in the pacific in 1944. This is true, it was my grandmother’s brother, and he was 23. It was the USS Shark 2 and it was never found. Well, the letter wanted her to do a DNA test. So my dad did a lot of looking into this to find out if it was legit or a scam. It turns out to be legit, but then my other aunt was like, we absolutely cannot do a DNA test, because uncle Bill paid his way through college by impregnating women, like a sperm donor but he had sex with them. So we can’t have our DNA on file because people might come knocking. Also, unlike with soldiers, they aren’t ever going to actually recover the sailors’ remains, because the sea is their grave.
Like with redness, or pigmentation? I’ll try that next.
You can make this whole issue go away right now, by just backing off. By the way she’s acting, it’s clear that she’s incredibly frustrated with your refusal to let her make her own decisions. Just stop this. Let her do what she wants. She is trying to do normal, responsible adult things, not, idk, smoke bath salts and go to raves. Stop being the overbearing snowplow parents who won’t allow their adult child to make a mistake. You’re honestly hurting her here. We all do understand your POV, but you don’t understand hers. You could be permanently damaging your relationship with your daughter right now. You need to stop this.
When I got divorced (young) and had to buy a car but had very little money, my dad gave me some advice to do a lease and put $500 down of my own money. I valued that car and cared for it way more than any car that they’d given me outright in the past. When the lease was up I bought it. Then I had the value of the car to put down when I bought my next one. That was a good way to do it, and I got to pick cars I wanted. I learned about leases and loans and credit and monthly payments and what I could afford.
“It will probably even take my spouse and I buying out the car ourselves and giving it to her because she will and is refusing that much. We are just not going to let her pay for this thing herself, 8,000 will not break us.”
Maybe she’s smarter than you give her credit for and knows if she holds out that you’ll just give her the car and she can keep her money.
Also, maybe this is just me being a cynical biased American, but a once in a lifetime opportunity coming out of Nigeria sounds like a scam. What’s the job? What job does he do now?
