kmtthat
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Well guys I don’t think anyone needs to pile on. Tom was looking for a little perspective, got it, and agreed.
Congrats Tom and I think those are excellent ideas to still be involved!
Love that everyone is having fun early dates! @Copa I totally get weirded out when guys have multiple things planned into the first date…even dinner seems like too much of a commitment when I haven’t met someone yet (enough awful dates to want to avoid…) Glad you were pleasantly surprised!
@TheLadyE I hope he takes the “adventure” part to heart and plans something really cool/interesting!@veritek Sounds like fun
As a last side bar, I send warm thoughts to you all as I’m freezing in Chicago, brrrrrr.
@Copa Too bad about things maybe fizzling, but nice that you already have another date lined up!
@lucia_la Awwww this sounds so promising! Can’t wait to hear how things progress and awesome that you guys were able to maintain the connection even with a long holiday break (no easy feat).Things with me are fantastic! Been dating Canadian guy for 2 months and we’re going to Toronto for his birthday in a few weeks to celebrate with his friends. We’re also talking about going to Florida for Valentine’s Day to get a break from the cold (his family has a house there). Last night he asked if he could introduce me to his friends as his girlfriend, so feeling reeeeeeeeeally warm and fuzzy. Everything feels so good it’s almost too good to be true. So trying to pace myself emotionally (usually I take things much slower) and making sure we’re really getting to know each other. But I’m hoping 2017 is going to be a much better year for me 🙂
@veritek Ufffff that’s hard. Especially with his friend saying that right in front of you and his response…I’m a big believer in believing who people are when they tell you. I any case I hope the conversation goes well and clarifies things one way or the other. So frustrating when people sent mixed signals :/
@veritek Ice skating date was really, really cute! There’s a huge outdoor ice skating ribbon and while it was seriously freezing it was fun to do something that he loves and see him all excited (he’s Canadian and has been playing hockey since he was 7). I can’t skate to save my life but he was very sweet and helpful and for someone who usually can’t stand a cheesy date, with the little snowflakes falling and kissing on the ice…pretty romantic.
Anyway it’s only been a few weeks so trying not to overthink it, but so far so good!
Wendy that’s kind of exactly what I needed to hear, thank you! I think especially when you get into your 30s it gets harder to just take dating for what it is…a great experience that could lead to something more but no matter what will help you grow and continue to learn about yourself.
I’m going for an ice skating date tonight 🙂
Eh, FWIW I thought it was a little aggressive of a response to MissDre, Lianne. I think we all bring different perspectives and I’d hate to feel like mine was invalidated because I haven’t been a dating “success” lately.
On texting, obviously everyone is different. I know plenty of women who prefer guys who text them a bunch every day right off the bat, whereas I would blanche at a “good morning beautiful” text (just, ugh). But at least every few days to maintain a little connection? If he doesn’t reach out to you to confirm plans again for the weekend by like tomorrow with something like “hey so 2 PM at Restaurant still work for you?” I’d just reach out.
So this conversation has me thinking….how long of a “temporary” stay is too temporary to date someone?
I started dating a really, really nice guy a few weeks ago who just moved here and is here on rotation for 1.5 years and then has to move somewhere else with his company (internationally, but he has some say where) for another 1.5 years and theoretically back to this city. I would never leave my company, ever, but it’s very flexible (i.e. it’s possible I could get a short term assignment where he went but not super likely). And of course I feel like a nut job even thinking about any of that, but it’s hard to date someone and start to like them while wondering if there is an expiration date. At the same time it seems ridiculous to not date someone and get to know them when it there’s no saying it would work out anyway.
Also, Kare, I’m glad the other kitties are giving you extra love.
And Susan….OMG Lenny Kravitz lookalike *drools*. So jealous.
Oh Kare, truly sorry and sending all of the internet hugs!!
Whaaaaat AP I live like a mile away from you I could have made a cameo!
@Wendy I actually prefer men in their late 30s! I’ve been dating them since I was 25 haha. I’s say 28-38 is about right. I’ve been on a few dates with a very nice (and has his shit together) 29 year old Canadian and we’re heading to a hockey game tonight. Soooooo we’ll see.
“If I were in my 30s and single, I’d take a kind, compassionate, has-hit-shit-together man in his mid-40s who looked it over some dorky 33-year-old still trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up ANY damn day.”
I’m really hoping these aren’t the only options! I’m 32 and have had to state very explicitly that I only want to date someone in their late 20s to late 30s and I still get much older guys who will message me multiple times in a row about “giving an older guy a chance for once.” I find that guys in their 40s and 50s just aren’t at the same place in life as me and yeah, I’m not as attracted to them physically unless they are REALLY on their game. So hoping for someone in their late 20s-late 30s who like me has their shit together, is kind, fun, successful, adventurous and is conventionally attractive. And if that bar is too high…well, so be it. But that’s what I’m putting out there, so I think it’s reasonable to expect the same.
I feel like men get to skip over women they deem “not right” for reasons all the time, whether weight, age, hair color, etc. and people chalk it up to “men are visual creatures” whereas women are expected to be more mature and overlook looks. I think it’s good to meet people with similar values so I think it’s important to be the kind of person you want to be with.
