ktfran
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I agree money! That sounds like a great second date. I don’t think you should have an uneasy feeling. Just enjoy getting to know him and take things one date at a time.
Thanks guys (ok, ladies)! It’s been so long since I’ve tried this real relationship thing and I’m trying not to repeat history too much. It’s great to be able to work things out on here instead of inside my own head. I’ll definitely say something to him next time we’re together, which will be this sometime this weekend I think.
Oh my gosh Sas, we’re totally alike in this regard. That was the first time he experienced one of mine. I need to be better about it. And you’re also right that I was hoping for an explicit invitation. I’ll chalk this up to we’re still learning about one another.
Yeah, Sas, I think he and I are both kind of shy… and treading a little too lightly. I’m trying to be better though. I did tell him after the chocolate pudding text that he absolutely makes me smile. Hopefully in a few weeks, I’ll feel less awkward.
I feel slightly stupid in that I didn’t react or read the situation correctly at all. Thanks everyone! My friend said to say something along these lines… “So, do you think you might need a chaperone for the beer tour?”
Wow… you both had the exact same reaction as the one friend I mentioned this to. I suck. So… if I want to go, I should probably say something.
It was. I actually didn’t know what kind of effects it had on my pshyche until just recently, and that was eight years ago. Like, I was engaging in relationships with men I knew had zero long-term potential and finally, the therapist called me out on this pattern I was exhibiting. Anyway, I’m figuring things out. And now I’m seeing someone I really like and has long-term potential. Yay! So, he’s met a few of my friends. No hike, but a couple different friends at a couple different outings and I invited him to a big friend outing next Friday, 2nd.
So… I was actually going to write in about him today. Last night was the first time I truly felt a little off about me and him. We went out for a cocktail and oysters then back to his place to sit on the balcony overlooking Lake Michigan and eat dinner. We were chatting per the usual and he mentioned that he wasn’t going to Cleveland with his parents in a few weeks because of work, but instead, that Saturday is going on an all-day outing in Michigan with our co-worker Lisa and probably about 15 other people. They tour wineries and breweries and distilleries. Anyway, he said Lisa and her friend asked if he was bringing me. But then we just kind of let that hang and he didn’t mention it anymore that night, except that he had to paypal this person for the bus. After that, I just got kind of sad and I know my mood changed but I didn’t say anything. Not only do I have a problem discussing feelings, I have a problem asking for things. I’m sure he noticed my mood shift. I guess I was just sad he didn’t actually ask me to go and I have yet to hang out with his friends and he’s continually meeting mine. Not sure if I should say something or not.
Then this morning, I received a text on my way to work from him… this is what it said “You forgot to take a pudding cup this morning. Far fridge, top left shelf, if you are so inclined, there is a delicious pudding cup.”
Of course that made me smile that he brought one into work for me this morning since we joked about it yesterday. I have no doubt in my mind that he likes me a lot. But last night bothered me a little.
Yep, excellent advice from kare. He doesn’t know if you like him “that way” and is pulling back. And if this really is the guy who wanted to be exclusive after one date, well I think that’s a little odd in itself, as Kate mentioned. Finally, I’ll echo kare again in that it’s ok to not be into someone despite their good qualities. If you really like someone, I think you know pretty quickly. The worse thing you can do is force a relationship because you know, he’s a nice guy or he looks good on paper. Trust me. I know this very well. I’m still dealing with emotions and mental effects surrounding the whole calling off the engagement to a perfectly nice guy thing.
Yay Ver! That’s awesome. Glad you had a phone date and figured it out.
Thanks! It’s a lot of fun but oh my god, I was totally nervous to ask him last night. I’m such a dork. He has given every indication that he’s completely into me.
I can barely have one or two… 40?!? NICE!
So, a whole bunch of my friends are getting together as a big group in a couple of weeks. I invited the guy. He said yes. YIKES! Things are getting real.
Yay money! My fingers are crossed for you.
