MissD
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@TheLadyE there’s nothing wrong with messaging him. I didn’t mean that. If he said he’s accepting messages on IG and you think he’s cute, go for it!
But the fact that you’ve checked him out everywhere possible (IG, Google, Website) and felt the need to follow up on another platform because he didn’t respond within a day, that’s what I see as a red flag. You’re telling us here how OMG AMAZING he is based on some pics and a website, before you’ve ever even met or chatted with the guy. You’re already over the moon about him based on an idea you’ve got in your head about what he might be like.
It comes across as really desperate, and I’m saying that it shifts the power balance because you already care more than he does.
I just very strongly believe, based on my own experiences in life, the brighter the flame the faster it burns out. And your posts here really made me raise my eyebrows.
Anyway, you do what you think is right. I hope he’s a great guy and you have fun getting to know him.
I have definitely felt that way, but I’ve found that the more excited I’ve been about the idea of someone (an idea created in my head based on pics, a profile, the way someone seems online), the bigger the let down it was in the end.
Seriously, when you’re just looking at somebody online and basically putting them up on a pedestal based on an image you’ve pieced together without knowing them, you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. Even if they are great, you’ve lost all your power and your dignity by idealizing them from the start.
Agree, don’t email him. He’ll check his Instagram DMs eventually.
Just say “ok let me know when you’re free” and then don’t message again. He’ll reach out to you when he is free 🙂
Shopping for bridesmaids dresses? I thought you’d already picked out your wedding dress.
@Kate no, I didn’t see him in March. Which has been hard, because it’s been almost 4 months since we’ve seen each other. But I’ll be there for 10 days in May, and he’s coming here for my birthday in the summer 🙂
Work kinda sucks, but I’m reminding myself to be grateful and just suck it up for now, because this place is definitely better than the last. I had to fight for my May vacation but I decided not to argue about how my paid time off is organized, since I’ll be leaving in the near future anyway.
And I’m slowly making progress with my own business goals.
It’s been a bit scary, all the changes that are coming up so quickly! But I’m also really excited!
Heading back to the UK in 2 weeks!!!!!!!
Theory was, since the bride’s parents paid for absolutely everything, FMIL wanted the party, etc and wanted to be spiteful by leaving bride’s parents on the hook for all the bills.
I don’t know how valid that theory is. Seems delusional that somebody would actually PLAN to break up AFTER the wedding just to have a party and stick someone else with the bill.
@shakeourtree if you KNOW he’s not the one, don’t go out with him again. It’s a waste of time (his and yours) and doesn’t feel very good in the end. I’ve been there.
If it was just “meh” and you don’t think there’s anything wrong with him but you just weren’t all that excited, I’d say give it a second date. By the end of the second date, I’m sure you KNOW if he’s not the one. Or, could be you’ll find something new and intriguing about him!
If you’re still “meh” after 2 dates, I wouldn’t force it.
But the thing is, even if you met Mr. Right tomorrow, those beliefs about yourself wouldn’t magically go away.
This is SO true. I believe I have met Mr. Right, but I do still struggle against my own internal beliefs about myself from time to time. I am so used to feeling “abandoned” by all of the men in my life. I have been conditioned to believe that all men will eventually leave me, because I’m just not good enough, and how could anybody possibly love me enough to actually want to commit to me?
It’s really hard, and even though I’ve been through years of counselling and even though I’m currently with a great guy who proves to me time and time again that he loves me and that he’ll always show up for me, I STILL have moments – sometimes even a few days at a time – where I struggle with my own insecurities and I have to remind myself to let go and to trust.
So, Kate’s right. It doesn’t just magically get better once you’ve found someone.
But I’ve been in your exact position, Ale. Like all of the feelings you describe, I have been there and I have felt them. It does get better, I promise. Keep going to counselling. If your previous counsellor wasn’t right for you, find somebody new.
Yes! Kitties will travel with me in the cabin. And yes I’ll likeky get something from the vet to make them drowsy, cuz it’s a long trip. Might also get a “calming” collar.
My oldest cat has been on the plane many times before but never a long distance. I’m nervous for them.
Nice! Yeah I can imagine being really excited and being ready for it right now haha. Once we get engaged I probably won’t want to wait I’ll just be like “k let’s go to the courthouse now please!” haha.
