Robert123

Thank you all for the kind words. It wasn’t the not dating in and of itself that I feel bad about, it was the idea of all the advice you offered, and especially Wendy’s assistance with the profile rewrite, then I took myself off the market before the intended results could be obtained. Though, I have to admit, this is the one time in my life when I am glad I am single, given all of the indirect contacts (via my girlfriend/wife) that could have happened.

I plan to go back to the therapist I started with before the pandemic. She was still doing sessions by telephone, but I didn’t continue since I wouldn’t have been dating anyway. I’ll probably restart before the 4th sometime. The earliest I could see myself doing any kind of dating would be August, I’d basically have to see that the superspreader crowds of the 4th does not cause an outbreak, even if I am fully vaccinated.

As of right now, I have not been vaccinated, not because I don’t want it, but I did not want to be a guinea pig in the first half of the year, but now enough people have gotten it that I feel it is safe. I do want the Moderna one, specifically, and that seems to be the least available in my area, and those have been the hardest appointments to get. I am registered in the portal, though, so I’ll be setting up an actual appointment this week.

Robert, has the process of online dating or speed dating ever made you happy in any way?

Partially yes, to the extent that I do enjoy getting to know a new match online, and the conversation during speed dating, especially if we have a few things in common. What discourages me is the revolving door, and the ghosting, and the wanting phone calls and dates when they have no interest in going past the first one (call or date). Then, my disgust (beyond the discouragement) comes from not being able to find out what I am doing wrong, only being told the lame and generic “I felt no connection”, instead of something that I can do something with to improve myself. It just takes out any initial joy I used to get, replaced with fear of when, not if, it will end.

One thing that did occur to me, though, since the last time I was on here, was that I did run up against similar situations in my 20s, but I did get to actually date enough people, even if only for a couple of months (with the exception of my 20 month relationship), that perhaps it was part of the process. I’m under no illusion that there will be a second date with *every* woman, but I’m not sure what the point is in just getting first dates. I’m tired of being treated like a piece of merchandise that just keeps getting put back up on the shelf, instead of a human being with feelings.

It just occurred to me, that you really do seem to have a love for these shows, do you think when the pandemic slowly draws to a close and these events begin again, it might be worthwhile looking into volunteering (I’m sure they need stewards and so forth,( or there may be a design committee seeking feedback from audiences) – could even be paid work,)

LOL I have had a few thoughts in the fringes. Maybe not your idea directly. If I’m too involved behind the scenes, would it take away the joy I get as a spectator? (rhetorical). I don’t think I would mind being a part of a focus group of some sort, though; although, one thing that does perhaps interest me is assisting in programming one of those animated flashing lights shows that is set to music.