Poppy
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Wow what idiot yells at a 3yr old over their hair? Culture appropriate because of braids in hair? Seriously, no culture owns hair styles. Its your hair, do it how you feel.
As soon as a person told me I was “the one that got away”, texting me first thing in the AM and last thing at PM, I should have the common decency to end commication as I am in a happy marriage not looking to have an affair. LW, you didn’t end commication after those things happened. You are upset over brief commication with someone you haven’t seen in decades- so upset you want to know WHY!!! Your past history relationship was when you was KIDS. Get a clue.
This is like a Hallmark narrative turn Lifetime narrative thats been dropped. Your old friend “fling” got busted by his wifey. Use commonsense. You knew what you were doing and you knew what he was doing. Quit playing poor stupid little ole me script. I dare you to show this to your husband, I DARE YOU.
The original question was wanting to know if you should tell the coach about the information you found on bf. My opinion was and still is no.Not only do I think it is intrusive when you dont know someone well but it sets up the awkward conversation of having to possbily explain about his past which at the end of the day is not your business.
So this driving record thing is a lttie crazy to me. Im not sure why someones infraction would/should be public knowledge. If someone committed a crime while driving it would be a public criminal record. If someone has multiple traffic violations their DL gets suspended. In my state 12 points in 12 months gets DL suspended. In my state,in order to publicly request a driving record, you have to 1.Know persons name 2.DOB 3. Know DL licenses number. 4. Pay a cost. I understand why certain employers need this information( and even Legal)but just for average Joe, not really. I agree its important to know who is watching your kids and transporting them which is why we have public information. If there was anything concerning it would show up. The only thing id request from a parent transporting my kids is their physical DL thats valid and valid car insurance. Thats also im addition to checking the sex offender/drug offender/ and criminal record of person watching my kid. So I am very curious as to what standards would you hold someone transporting your kids too since you do have access to it?
If you saw her boyfriend cheating on her (or assume he was cheating without fact) would you feel comfortable in getting involved and telling her?! Probably not. This is the same situation. Also, im going to assume you wanted to check the coach out before asking and then having to decline because you found concerning history. BC it would be really weird to randomly background check someone without cause. (Public knowledge or not) You have now put yourself in an awkaward position of knowing this mans criminal past which is going to affect your relationship with the coach and your daughter playing on this team. Also fun fact: my state allows us tools to not only have access to public criminal records, sex offender registry and their address locations but same information with drug offenders.
@Chris FYI the “cherry pop” can “pop” without having sex. That doesnt define virginity. Also in America, regardless of relgious belief or personal beliefs,it would be considered unlawful to murder someone because you feel indifferent about their way of life. Example: Here in America if you stone someone to death, that’s first degree murder aka capital murder. In this man case, even if wife was a past slut, he can either forgive or move on.
I personally dont think there is anything wrong with men or women wanting one night stands. Hell, better yet, at least they are honest with you from date one. It doesnt make someone a jerk or asshole for that either. You just havent met your guy yet. You might be the problem, you might need to start realizing your attracted to guys you arent mentally compatible with. Thats okay. Usually though if a guy is douchbag/jerk you pick that up right away. If he is during dinner, you verbalize that that is not what you are looking for. Thats kinda what dating is. I suggest you switch up your dating tactics and when I alphafratboy hits on you turn them down. You can even make it clear you have no interest in sex. That should weed some out.
@northernstar I was going to say LW was backpaddling for sure. I will lay this out like this- when someone agrees to do something and then decide they dont want to anymore they begin to make assorted excuses, usually laying out several reasons why they dont want to. She had oppurtunity to say no without having to give reasons. She agreed as she says she was guilted into doing it. The one thing that stood out to me is that LW knows she has a dog that doesnt like kids and that for whatever reason she cant leave her dog alone for barely a night or kennel her dog (at sisters home) so she would have to find someone to also watch her dog. What logic sense would it make to agree to watch sisters kid then have to find someone to watch her dog. She agreed and then totally regretted agreeing. The likelihood is her friends said “hey. We are camping this weekend. Wanna come?” And she said “yea” and then realized she had to agree to watch sisters kid and wanted an excus. To get out of it. Come on, we all have been Being 20yrs old,i would want to be backpaddling too.
@dinoceros yes!! Exactly. And @ridgebacklover… I see where you are coming from and i could totally agree with you but the fact of the matter is she agreed and is now making excuses to back out and while making the excuses tried to imply that the mom doesnt even want to be around her child which implies bad parenting. @LW thank you for clarifying. I dont mean to be ugly by saying you come off a non compassionate but you did to me. Thats family not some strangers child. At 20 i wanted to hang with my friends all the time too so i understand but when family calls sometimes you just need to be there. This is ONE time. The next times just say no and you dont even have to give a reason. And im also agreeing eith others as well on their points.
It would be helpful to know how long you have been dating.I know you say long term but id like to know what you consider long term. Also, i can “feel” your frustration when i read this. Sounds like it is time to split. Being married wont change how he feels anyway, even if you demand an ultimatum. Lastly, you say nothing positive about this guy, NOTHING as to why you should be with him the rest of your life, just that you want a more higher level of commitment. You deserve a happy relationship, not a forced one.
LW- if you dont want to do something you can say no. You shouldn’t be feelin guilted into doing anything you don’t want. However, The one thing that stood out to me in your letter is how far you are willing to go to make any excuse in hoping someone will justify you for noting wanting to go forward with agreeing to watch your sisters child. There is no need to find fault in her as a bad parent and person just because you dont want to do something that you agreed you would do. And to be honest- you mention clinicals- you lack compassion so I hope your studies arent in a field that requires compassion.
