It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My live-in boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Our relationship is the longest he has been in, and we have a five-month-old daughter. Last night, our conversation was quite dull so I looked up “21 questions to ask your boyfriend” on the internet. One of the questions was: “Have you ever loved anyone more than me?” He said, “Yes,” and continued with something along the lines of “…but we have potential to grow and become real” (whatever that means). I was kind of shocked by his response, so I didn’t say anything and continued with the other questions. I don’t know for sure who he is talking about because…
My husband and I have both been invited to his assistant’s wedding. It is a large Italian/Iranian wedding so it should be wonderful. The venue is exquisite. I have never met his assistant, but my husband thinks highly of her and shares with me how competent she is. I really want to attend, to meet her, to meet his other staff and to have a great time. I love weddings. But my husband has said he doesn’t want me there. He says the stakes are too high. These are his colleagues. He’s afraid I won’t approve of his behavior and I will feel neglected and humiliated. He has ADD and has problems…
His Take questions are answered by our panel of smart, opinionated, and funny dudes. I met a guy online a month ago for a supposedly platonic meet-up. We ended up having casual sex, but we also definitely connected on other levels. It turns out we had a lot of mutual friends and interests! Before he dropped me off at home, he lent me a book as well. Initially, it felt like an FWB relationship. We’d text to meet up for a hook up, but now we sometimes just text each other for no other reason than to talk about the stuff we like. After sex, we’d cuddle and talk. Even before sex,…
Tomorrow, we will discuss our March/April book club selection, Fairyland: A Memoir of My Father. But today, I’d like to announce our May/June selection: The Husband’s Secret, which tied for second place when we voted on a novel to read in early January. Hope you don’t mind that I didn’t post a re-vote, but this was a book that I’ve been wanting to read, so I decided to take the opportunity now. It’s available in hardback, paperback, on Kindle, and audio on Amazon (and, of course, I make a small commission if you purchase through any link on this site).
I’m writing to you regarding my relationship with my grandmother. You and your readers have been so helpful in helping others with their family issues that I thought I could reach out here. For the last five years I have been taking care of my grandparents’ finances (paying bills, doing taxes, etc.) and helping them with tasks around the house. I go to their house one evening a week after work to take care of whatever they need done. My grandfather passed away about six months ago. At the time, my grandmother refused to acknowledge any feelings regarding his death. I suggested grief counseling on more than one occasion (having formerly been…
I dated a guy, “Joe,” in my senior year of high school while I was also involved in a long-distance relationship with a guy, “Tim,” whom I met on vacation the summer before. Tim agreed we would be dating other people, but we kept in touch because we liked each other. Anyway, Joe asked me out and we started dating in August, but then he abruptly broke up with me on Christmas Eve, right when we were exchanging gifts. He didn’t date anyone after me for the rest of the year, and we basically avoided each other. I was heartbroken and confused, but, after the breakup with Joe, I decided to throw…
It’s time for Wedding Week Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My fiancée will not introduce me to her friends and co-workers as her fiancé – she introduces me as “her friend.” I tried to explain to her that it’s not an insecurity issue for me, but I like that “fiancé” lets folks know where we are in our relationship. She has been divorced twice, and I am a widower who was married for 34 years and lost my wife to cancer. With my fiancée’s previous marriage, she claims she would introduce him as “Steve” and not her husband, Steve. I have always introduced her as my fiancée and am proud of her. Am I wrong with my concerns with the way she…
When my fiancé and I got engaged earlier this year, we decided to keep the news to ourselves for a while. For one, we had just started living together after I moved across the country for him and I was already under a lot of stress trying to find a job. The other reason is that, while we knew his family would be thrilled, mine probably would not. Basically, we wanted some “us” time to process what marriage meant to us before being flung into the craziness that is wedding-planning (and I’m glad we did it!). Two weeks ago we announced our engagement to our parents. I wrote a letter to his…
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