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From Ali H., a teacher who participated in this year’s Dear Wendy Holiday Book Drive: Before I forget (with the hectic ness of this week), I wanted to send you some photos of my classroom with our new tools and set-up. While the kiddos won’t get their books until Friday, I wanted to introduce them to our new space so we could get comfortable and create some expectations together. Our first day with it will be tomorrow and we’ll see how it goes. Some comments so far have been, “Wow, lucky 8th graders” and “It feels so welcoming in here” and when discussing various arrangements with a colleague, “It’s clear you want…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Non-Christian” who wondered if she should stop dating Christian men because it turned out, after six months of dating, that her ex (a pastor’s son) had qualms about having a long-term relationship with a non-Christian and he hadn’t been upfront about it from the beginning. I don’t want to discount all Christians because of this one experience,” she wrote, “but it was very painful for me when we broke up and I’d rather not repeat that experience…

My husband’s adult kids and grandkids have ignored me, excluded me, and avoided me at all costs, and I don’t know why. The last straw was when I wasn’t invited to his oldest granddaughter’s baby shower. I asked my husband why and he said because I gave their dog, who was tied up in the back yard in 100-degree heat, some water to drink because he didn’t have any. For twenty years, we have traveled thousands of miles to see his family but have never had anything reciprocated. We have never been invited to their homes for dinner, and only one time did they offer us a bottle of water. I told…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “My Mother My Self” who was pregnant again after suffering a traumatic stillbirth and who worried about how to mother a little girl since her own mother was no longer alive to give her advice and help. Her heartwarming update below.

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Desire to Sire?,” the 50-year-old man who was trying to choose between “Woman A,” who’s 40 and wants kids, and “Woman B,” who’s 45 and likely cannot have bio kids. “The main issue at this stage is whether I want to have kids or not,” he wrote. “There is no point in continuing with woman B if I want kids. There is no point in continuing with woman A if I don’t want kids.” My response to…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Insecure” (LW2) who was tired of going to social functions with her husband where he would drink too much and “constantly looks for attention from other, mostly much younger, women.” She struggled to figure out why she was feeling so threatened and jealous. “Is it because I’m getting old and insecure?” she wondered. Or is it “that his behavior is maybe affecting my self-esteem?” Her update below (plus a bonus update from another LW).

From the forums:​ My mother is what you might call “low key racist.” She’s a nice white lady who grew up in the blue collar Midwest. She’s outwardly polite and friendly to people of all different backgrounds, but occasionally she’ll say something that really reveals how little she thinks of people of color. I didn’t notice this much when I was younger, but now that I’m an adult and living several states away from her, I do notice and I do try to speak up to express my disapproval. When I visited my parents’ place last year, I noticed some racist decorations in their home. My mom decorated the house in a…

I am a 35-year-old, well-educated woman, married for nearly six years, with a three-year-old child. “Mark,” my husband, is a very patient, understanding, kindhearted guy. But I am not at all happy with him. He is everything a woman wants — that’s what my friend says — which doesn’t help me feel any better for having thoughts of wanting out. Almost 15 years ago, I had an affair/fling, or whatever you want to call it, with my college professor. I was 20. “Cheryl” was 40 and had a reputation of getting involved with female students which almost cost her a career at some point. We kept this incredibly exciting, passionate – and…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. My wife and I have been happily married for 10 years with two lovely daughters, 7 and 5 years old. They mean the world to us and we mean the world to each other. We both are extremely successful professionally, working full-time jobs with work travel for me and occasional…

A couple weeks ago my husband, “Gary,” and I attended an out-of-town wedding for my best friend. We spent a couple thousand dollars between travel, accommodations, and gifts (which is not an issue for me but is a sticky point for my husband). Gary does not know my friends and has deemed me clueless with etiquette, saying horrible things about my friends since their wedding day. Now he is even threatening divorce unless I make things right. Let me explain… The night before the wedding there was a rehearsal but no dinner. My husband went out with some old friends of his that night (we both used to live in the town…