“My Husband’s Family Did Not Invite Us to Christmas!”

I’m married to the oldest of three brothers. “Harrison” is my husband, “Tennyson” is the middle brother, and “Sullivan” the youngest brother. Harrison and Tennyson had an argument four years ago over our wedding. Tennyson was upset that my husband chose Sullivan to be Best Man instead of him. As a result, Tennyson came up with an elaborate story that he would be out of town during our wedding to be the Best Man of a good friend who was renewing his wedding vows in another state. We did not receive a card, gift, or congratulations on our marriage from Tennyson. Harrison and Tennyson had an argument over Tennyson not attending his…

“Which Baby Daddy Should I Choose?”

I’ve been dating my Baby Daddy #2 for five years off and on and have two daughters with him, ages 1 and 3. My previous relationship with my Baby Daddy #1 lasted 14 years and I have three children with him, ages 19, 14, and 13. I have a good relationship with BD#1 as if he were a brother or best friend (since being diagnosed with Parkinson’s three years ago at age 37). I have not been intimate with him in six years; we are just co-parents to our children and he has built a strong relationship with my other daughters with my BD#2. Well, when I was nine months pregnant with…

A Thank You from a Book Drive Teacher (and Pictures!)

From Ali H., a teacher who participated in this year’s Dear Wendy Holiday Book Drive: Before I forget (with the hectic ness of this week), I wanted to send you some photos of my classroom with our new tools and set-up. While the kiddos won’t get their books until Friday, I wanted to introduce them to our new space so we could get comfortable and create some expectations together. Our first day with it will be tomorrow and we’ll see how it goes. Some comments so far have been, “Wow, lucky 8th graders” and “It feels so welcoming in here” and when discussing various arrangements with a colleague, “It’s clear you want…

Updates: “Non-Christian” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Non-Christian” who wondered if she should stop dating Christian men because it turned out, after six months of dating, that her ex (a pastor’s son) had qualms about having a long-term relationship with a non-Christian and he hadn’t been upfront about it from the beginning. I don’t want to discount all Christians because of this one experience,” she wrote, “but it was very painful for me when we broke up and I’d rather not repeat that experience…

Morning Quickies: “My Husband’s Family Avoids Me At All Costs”

My husband’s adult kids and grandkids have ignored me, excluded me, and avoided me at all costs, and I don’t know why. The last straw was when I wasn’t invited to his oldest granddaughter’s baby shower. I asked my husband why and he said because I gave their dog, who was tied up in the back yard in 100-degree heat, some water to drink because he didn’t have any. For twenty years, we have traveled thousands of miles to see his family but have never had anything reciprocated. We have never been invited to their homes for dinner, and only one time did they offer us a bottle of water. I told…

Updates: “My Mother My Self” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “My Mother My Self” who was pregnant again after suffering a traumatic stillbirth and who worried about how to mother a little girl since her own mother was no longer alive to give her advice and help. Her heartwarming update below.

Updates: “Desire to Sire” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Desire to Sire?,” the 50-year-old man who was trying to choose between “Woman A,” who’s 40 and wants kids, and “Woman B,” who’s 45 and likely cannot have bio kids. “The main issue at this stage is whether I want to have kids or not,” he wrote. “There is no point in continuing with woman B if I want kids. There is no point in continuing with woman A if I don’t want kids.” My response to…

Updates: “Insecure” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Insecure” (LW2) who was tired of going to social functions with her husband where he would drink too much and “constantly looks for attention from other, mostly much younger, women.” She struggled to figure out why she was feeling so threatened and jealous. “Is it because I’m getting old and insecure?” she wondered. Or is it “that his behavior is maybe affecting my self-esteem?” Her update below (plus a bonus update from another LW).

“My Parents Have Racist Decor in Their House. Should I Refuse to Stay There When I Visit?”

From the forums:​ My mother is what you might call “low key racist.” She’s a nice white lady who grew up in the blue collar Midwest. She’s outwardly polite and friendly to people of all different backgrounds, but occasionally she’ll say something that really reveals how little she thinks of people of color. I didn’t notice this much when I was younger, but now that I’m an adult and living several states away from her, I do notice and I do try to speak up to express my disapproval. When I visited my parents’ place last year, I noticed some racist decorations in their home. My mom decorated the house in a…

“I’m Married to a Man, But Keep Thinking About My Ex-Girlfriend”

I am a 35-year-old, well-educated woman, married for nearly six years, with a three-year-old child. “Mark,” my husband, is a very patient, understanding, kindhearted guy. But I am not at all happy with him. He is everything a woman wants — that’s what my friend says — which doesn’t help me feel any better for having thoughts of wanting out. Almost 15 years ago, I had an affair/fling, or whatever you want to call it, with my college professor. I was 20. “Cheryl” was 40 and had a reputation of getting involved with female students which almost cost her a career at some point. We kept this incredibly exciting, passionate – and…

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