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I have been in a relationship with “James” for three years now. James and his brother “Ross” are the closest brothers I have ever met in my twenty-three years. They are both in their 30s, and, although they have not only grown up together, they do everything together. They pursued a professional snowboard career together, they own a house together, they run a VERY successful business together, and they are simply very best friends. Since James and I started dating, Ross and I also became very close and he was one of my best friends as well. James and I were getting very close to getting engaged, and until about five months…

Over the years, my family holiday celebrations have included: me and my husband, my parents, my paternal aunt, uncle, two cousins and my paternal grandma. My aunt always hosts. My parents live about a three-hour drive from all the rest of us, and since they’ve both retired, they usually sleep over at my aunt’s house and leave first thing in the morning. In the past, my folks have always brought their large breed dogs (standard poodles) to my aunt’s house as they have difficulty finding a sitter on holidays. The dogs have been generally well-behaved but not really trained. Last year at Thanksgiving, my parents brought their poodles and the younger one…

I am a student in my third year of university with a desire to take pole dancing classes. I was introduced to the idea a few years ago as part of a friend’s birthday celebration. At the time, I was too busy with my studies to pursue this new interest, but I managed to go once or twice. Now I’m in my third year of college and finishing up a very hectic semester where I’ve had zero exercise time, and since next semester will be far less intense, I had planned to finally join the the pole dancing facility as a treat to myself. The problem arises with my boyfriend and his…

One of my best friends since fifth grade (we are 32 now) was diagnosed with stage IV cancer two and a half years ago. We don’t live near each other anymore – she lives in Texas and I live in Florida, but we talk frequently and have visits as often as possible. In the past few months, she has been getting significantly worse, and chemo treatments haven’t been working. Up until now she has always been very positive about fighting cancer and her diagnosis, and obviously I have followed her lead anytime we talk. I let her share what she wants with me. Recently, she mentioned that doctors had started asking if…

I am a young professional woman in my late 20s and I started dating my boyfriend, “Mike,” about a year ago. We get along splendidly and are very much in love! I can see him being my future something or other and we’ve talked about moving in together next year. The reason I’m writing you for advice is because, prior to our relationship, he was in a five-year-long relationship. He and his ex met in college and were very serious. When we first started dating, he teared up every time he mentioned the relationship and refused to give details. From what Mike has told me, they broke up because she got into…

I recently read the story of the flirting SIL and the smirking husband. I have a similar situation. My husband (twenty-nine years together, twenty-five married) started flirting with my sister shortly after our wedding. I told him numerous times how much this hurt me. He laughed and told me I was reading it wrong or I was too sensitive. Even after our talks he kept flirting with her. I just grew to ignore it and look past it and live with it. In addition, I was never allowed to show affection to him in public. If I tried to hold his hand or hug and kiss him, I got shoved away and…

My boyfriend, “Stan,” and I have been together for about six years and met while I was still a teenager. Not too long ago we broke up but then got back together pretty quickly. I initiated the breakup because I felt that I was allowing the relationship to hold me back from social and academic opportunities. We got back together because we felt that we could encourage each other to pursue other things while still in the relationship. First breakup aside, I am noticing some things about the relationship that make me feel unsure about our ability to stay together in the long run. We have very different political and world views….

The father of my children and I have been together for a few years. We live together, share a life, and are planning a future. We want at least one more child, a house, and marriage. Here lies the problem: He’s still in contact with his ex and taking care of her daughter (he says it’s strictly for HER daughter). He says he’s been around the daughter since she was three, they broke up when she was five. She’s eight now. I didn’t know he was financially/physically taking care of the child until now. The mother calls whenever she needs money. She calls over and over. She writes inappropriate comments on his…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I read the column, “My Husband and I Can’t Agree on Where to Move”, as it’s applicable to my situation. My wife and I live in the San Francisco Bay area. My daughter and family live less than 45 minutes away (driving time), with the rest of wife’s family about…

From the forums: My boyfriend, “Fred,” and I have been together for over four years. During our first three years together, Fred and his sister were not speaking due to a fight they’d had a year before we got together. I only met her a year ago and she was very cold to me. He’s not close with her, but they text every now and then. She’s very close with his ex, whom she knew during the eleven years the ex and Fred were married. His ex hates me and has threatened to physically attack me if she ever sees me in person, which makes coordinating holidays very difficult as they have…