Morning Quickie: “My Boyfriend Won’t Meet My Children”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I’m a mom of four who’s been dating this guy for four months now and things seem to be going well. My only concern is that he hasn’t met my kids yet. I don’t know if this is really a concern, but it pops into my mind a lot. I’ve…

Your Turn: “My Live-In Boyfriend Keeps Me a Secret From His Family”

In 2010, I had lunch with an ex-boyfriend from many, many years ago that developed into a relationship even though he was still married. His wife had asked him for a divorce years before; however, they had decided to stay together until the kids went to college, and I met him three years before they did. The wife found out about me, and they agreed to separate on condition that the children NEVER meet me. We have now been living together for five years and the children (now 19 and 20) still don’t know about me, and I am told they never will. I am 58, he is 63, and neither of…

“Should I Move For Love With My 5-Year-Old Daughter?”

I met my boyfriend eight months ago at a career training (we work for the same company). I live in Chicago . . . and he lives in New York. He came to Chicago to visit me two months after we met, with intentions of just hanging out, but it turned into more. We have since seen each other every four weeks or so, trading off for the most part who goes where. Recently, he told me the distance was too much — that he loves me, that he feels an overwhelming connection, and that he can see himself with me in the longterm, but that, until we are closer, he doesn’t…

Wedding Week Shortcuts: “I Didn’t Get a Plus-One for My Live-In Girlfriend and I’m Furious!!”

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. One of my fraternity friends, whom I’m not very close with, is getting married and I was invited to the bachelor party. I sent back the invitation saying my girlfriend and I would attend the wedding. He calls me right after he gets the RSVP saying that, due to venue size and how he wants to invite all his frat guys,…

Dear Wendy’s All-Time Most Popular Wedding Columns

When I started this site over four years ago, I had no idea that weddings would prove to be such a controversial and emotionally-charged topic. But over the last few years, I have received more wedding-related letters than on any other topic. In honor of Wedding Week here on Dear Wendy, here is a round-up of the site’s all-time most popular wedding columns. (I know at least a few will spark a trip down memory lane…)  

Afternoon Quickie: “How Do I Tell Our Wedding Guests Their Kids Are Not Invited?”

It’s Wedding Week on Dear Wendy! This week will be chock-full of wedding columns, gift guides, dollar dances and an open bar. If you love wedding content, this is your lucky week. If you hate wedding content, this is your lucky week because–-open bar! But just kidding about the open bar. My adopted brother (i.e. not blood-related, but he calls my parents Mom and Dad and his children call me Auntie) and his wife are invited to our very small wedding early next year. They have three beautiful children, ages 6, 2, and 1 month, whom I love very much. I’m fine with the youngest being at the wedding because he will…

“Can I Ask For a Plus One If I’m in a Wheelchair and Require Assistance?”

It’s Wedding Week on Dear Wendy! This week will be chock-full of wedding columns, gift guides, dollar dances and an open bar. If you love wedding content, this is your lucky week. If you hate wedding content, this is your lucky week because–-open bar! But just kidding about the open bar. I have a unique wedding etiquette situation. I have two weddings to attend in October (different weekends) but am concerned about logistics. I use a wheelchair and am not currently able to drive. Normally, I’d just catch a ride with a friend who is also going, but there isn’t anyone appropriate to ask for either event. Besides just a ride, I’d…

“How Do I Tell My Bridesmaids I’m Not Paying for Their Hair and Makeup?”

I’m getting married soon and have decided to pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses for my four bridesmaids (roughly $150 each) as their “bridesmaid gift.” I’ll still give each one a nice keepsake at the rehearsal dinner, BUT my question is: How do I tell them that I’m not paying for their hair/makeup the day of, but that I will book their appointment with my stylist if they would like it? Etiquette says I should pay, but is there a tactful way of saying what I’m not paying for? — Paying For Their Dresses

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