Updates

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Feeling Abandoned” whose mother essentially abandoned the family in 2007 for a controlling boyfriend when the youngest sibling was 17. In more recent months, the LW has cut her mother off, and stopped paying the bills she was helping her mother with, after years of increasing issues with her mother. In her letter, she was grappling with how to negotiate this estrangement and what it meant for her, going forward. Her update below:

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “What to Say?” whose sister’s SIL, a drug addict, was on life support in the hospital after OD’ing again. She wondered what she should say to her sister’s in-laws when she saw them again: “[they] are good people, they tried their best and will spend the rest of their lives wondering if they had made different choices whether things would have been different. I didn’t often agree with their choices, but I also recognize that in the last…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel like I’m hiding something from him. Sometimes my friend has said things like how he was a flower girl when he was a kid, and I think my boyfriend has just brushed off these comments or thought Nick was joking. […] It’s not my place to…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “On the Fence,” the woman who was dating a guy, “Carl,” who still had a drawer of his ex-wife’s underwear, despite telling the LW he loved her and wanted to be exclusive with her. She was concerned about other red flags she noticed about what she considered lax boundaries with his ex, like fixing things in her house and removing the LW’s stuff when the ex comes over (to drop off their kids). Having been in an…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Annoyed By His Behavior” (LW2) whose husband was rude during her mother’s recent visit to see her grandson. After the mother left, the LW’s husband said that he felt “replaced” during her visit. “That surprised me,” the LW wrote, “since he was involved in everything we did. I reassured him that he’s the only father our son will ever have. My husband said he didn’t know why he felt that way, and I asked a follow-up question to…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Deprived Newlywed” (LW2) whose new husband rarely wanted to have sex and would often reject the LW’s initiating sex, telling her he felt like a piece of meat and that he needed more compliments to get into the mood. Her update below.

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Am I Being a Bridezilla?” whose matron-of-honor hated the dress color the LW chose and accused her of trying to make her look bad in it. “She hasn’t yet said ‘change the color or I’m out,’ but it’s kind of headed that way. I’d ideally like to preserve our relationship and her role in the wedding as well as the wedding color we both like, but I’m not seeing a good way to do that and would love…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Feeling Regret” whose girlfriend of nine and a half years broke up with him because he wasn’t ready to get married. He realized after they broke up that he was willing to marry her, after all, but she said it was too late. “I know I need to move on and look out for myself,” he wrote, “and it won’t help me holding on since she’s decided about it. I hope you can help enlighten me and help…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Feeling Controlled,” (LW2) the 30-something woman who was quarantining with her boyfriend of six months and bothered that his ex-girlfriend, whom he refused to inform he had a new girlfriend, kept calling and texting. “He says he can’t ignore her or tell her about me, because he’s afraid she’ll kill herself. I, of course, hacked his phone and know he texts her first every day and tells her he can’t answer because he’s working but he misses her…