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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Advice on something that’s probably a really stupid dilemma…. please

Home Forums Advice & Chat Advice on something that’s probably a really stupid dilemma…. please

  • This topic has 72 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Anonymousse.
Viewing 12 posts - 49 through 60 (of 73 total)
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  • #1115707 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Way to validate that you weren’t here to learn anything.

    #1115708 Reply
    Avatar photoCopa
    Participant

    Omg that entire rant about dating apps 🤣. Bro. What!? When did this thread become about you? Have you ever considered that maybe you don’t get matches not because you don’t have a six pack, but because you come across condescending and sexist and like you yell at the caterer and put your mom on the phone with your boss? I’m sure that came through in your profile during the three whole months you gave it.

    #1115709 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    Yes, Kate. I did think he was a 40s-70s lonely, older white male with antiquated, sexist views and opinions of women. But I’m wrong, which is somehow much sadder.

    Please, take some women’s history courses at your local college, WDWE. Not the seminary.

    #1115711 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I do a little forensics sometimes if someone posts under different names, as he did initially. Wendy asks people not to do that in the forum guidelines, and anyone who’s been here a while knows why. A cursory glance at socials a while ago indicated he’s not a troll and that he’s young. That’s all I needed to see. I processed his photos as “white guy,” which I guess wasn’t accurate but okay.

    WDWE, I wasn’t going to out you or call you fat. If that’s what that rant was about, just know that we would never do that here, and that that rant made you look even more sexist and put-upon.

    #1115713 Reply
    ron
    Guest

    WDWE: You seem to be at the border of incel territory. Back away. You don’t need a perfect body to have a relationship. That’s just an excuse you’re making. I’m too old to have used dating apps, but younger friends, both male and female, share your view of Tinder: it’s a hookup site based on superficials and not suited to your viewpoints and vocation.

    You probably need to leave the free sites. Try eHarmony. It seems geared to both serious relationships and Christians.

    The good news for you is that most heterosexuals marry during the first half of their lifetimes and most of them do not have perfect bodies.

    You do need adjust your attitude toward women. That more than your, probably self-exaggerated, negative body image is likely what is keeping you from dating. This attitude is also going to haunt you professionally if you don’t change it. From some comments you made in your initial thread, you don’t aspire to pastor a very traditional congregation. That’s the only place your attitudes toward women will fly. It’s no longer 1955 and you will cripple your career if you can’t lighten up.

    #1115714 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    Do you know what kind of messages women get on tinder, WDWE? Have you heard of “dick pics?”

    And also, I wrote “in your pants feelings,” I didn’t not mention his penis, and if you weren’t aware, both men, women and anyone else may have “in your pants feelings.” It’s a euphemism I probably got from here or captain awkward about duh duh duh duh…sexual/romantic feelings, because that’s what we’re talking about. And he doesn’t even know personally so it’s not based on personality. He didn’t want to be friends. He is captivated by her. Giant difference.

    #1115716 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    I did not* I’m sorry for the many grammatical errors of late, everyone. I made my account with an email account I closed a few years ago and now I can’t edit.

    #1115718 Reply
    Avatar photoCopa
    Participant

    I also get the borderline incel vibes, @ron.

    Also Tinder is free, how are they scamming you out of money? And also I’m sure the women in your area understand how Bumble works. You are not entitled to the attention of women and that article about the rise of single men that has been gaining traction online these days may be of interest to you. I don’t recommend any online dating apps or sites for you, I recommend self reflection and therapy. And before you cry you’re being attacked, I say that as someone who did the online dating thing (on and off for literal years, but good job on the three whole months before blaming all women) and who has spent time in therapy working her inner shit out.

    #1115730 Reply
    Ange
    Guest

    I mean, he might be Afrikaner or something. Although I’d hope nobody would try and use that as a ‘get out of criticism because I’m African card’

    #1115732 Reply
    Fyodor
    Guest

    Wow, I didn’t expect my suggestion that the OP online date (literally the most popular way to meet a partner) to be so controversial and inflammatory.

    #1115733 Reply
    Anonymousse
    Guest

    @fyodor, dare you? Men are treated horribly on tinder. Endless harassment, just constant women judging them based on looks alone. Horrendous. That was an incredibly ridiculous suggestion of you to make.

    #1115734 Reply
    Fyodor
    Participant

    This is also not great.

    “And, no, I didn’t use the app once saw one profile like that and then stopped. I used the app for three months and came across it multiple times; it was rage-inducing as it felt like the woman with those profiles was just out to waste my time.”

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