DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Thank you, @Lianne. I think my other two cats can tell I’m sad because they’ve been extra snuggly lately.
@Kate we do love our mexican food. Plus it’s the birth place of the frozen margarita. You get all the charm of the South, but the open-mindedness of a city. Although the downtown area is small.Also, I knew a guy from Boston that told me he found it weird how people hold doors open for everyone or hold the elevator. Is that really a thing people don’t do in the Northeast?
Hmm, no, people do hold doors and elevators up here, but they are just way more impatient and in a hurry, I would say. And less going out of their way to be nice.
I am going on a third date with a gorgeous man who looks a bit like Lenny Kravitz. And he is a singer and model. He just appeared out of the blue and asked for my number. Really trying to play it cool. Love this site.
Agree with Kate. Both on the way Northeasterners behave and on her advice to MissDre.
I also just purchased that brush.
So this conversation has me thinking….how long of a “temporary” stay is too temporary to date someone?
I started dating a really, really nice guy a few weeks ago who just moved here and is here on rotation for 1.5 years and then has to move somewhere else with his company (internationally, but he has some say where) for another 1.5 years and theoretically back to this city. I would never leave my company, ever, but it’s very flexible (i.e. it’s possible I could get a short term assignment where he went but not super likely). And of course I feel like a nut job even thinking about any of that, but it’s hard to date someone and start to like them while wondering if there is an expiration date. At the same time it seems ridiculous to not date someone and get to know them when it there’s no saying it would work out anyway.
Also, Kare, I’m glad the other kitties are giving you extra love.
And Susan….OMG Lenny Kravitz lookalike *drools*. So jealous.
@MissDre this may just be a horrible idea but.. isn’t there any way you can keep an eye out for other guys too? I mean after a few dates with the guy I doubt you’re exclusive and personally I wouldn’t delve in an intercontinental relationship with a guy you haven’t had a chance to build any sort of foundation with. Damn timing seems to be 90% of what’s needed :\
Because I don’t want to post a whole new thread about such a minor thing..
Can I just ask what your views are on texting/communication between initial dates? If the guy does not text at all, even if you have a second date arranged, would you say he is disinterested and can’t be bothered to put the “effort” to even drop a line once every couple of days?I had a date on Saturday with a guy I had met once before through mutual friends. He is from a different city (again..) but he made the effort to take the train and come to my city for the date (because I asked him to). The date went very well, he was absolutely lovely in every single way and was acting very interested, making physical contact and by the end expressed interest to see me again (more than once). Coincidentially I am going to his city this weekend to stay over with some friends so we arranged to meet up again for lunch or so.
A few hours after he left I texted him the usual “I had a great time” blah-blah and confirmed I am able to meet up for lunch next weekend … he replied very short saying he’s happy we met up and confirming we’re meeting again. I texted him on Tuesday morning to ask him something (before that there was no conversation from either of us), he replied briefly but then the conversation just stopped. And again no communication since then.What do you think? Do you think this shows lack of interest or am I just being way too impatient?
Or just generally do you think texting is any indicator of how much someone is interested?I don’t think it’s uncommon to not text much between the first and second date. At that point, it’s too early to have the kind of relationship where you need to keep in contact for the sake of being in contact. Some people are texters, and some aren’t. I also think that for a lot of people, having “interest” in someone after a first date means something different from the interest you have in someone after dating for weeks or months. Interest at that stage might just be that you are interested in seeing them again, which doesn’t really have much to do with texting.
This makes so much sense @dinoceros !
Of course a this stage “interested” is “I had a good time and I’m attracted to you so lets meet up again to see what happens”. And he already wanted to arrange to see me again so I guess this should be enough confirmation that he is interested.
As far as I know he does text quite a lot, I get the feeling he’s purposefully pacing himself with the texting. Either way, I guess I just have to wait. The issue is we’re going away for Christmas for 3 weeks, so we definitely won’t be able to meet up anytime soon. If I don’t hear anything from him for the weeks we don’t meet up though, I’d probably assume he isn’t that interested and move on.The experience I’ve had dating new guys during the time that texting has been big is pretty limited to the year 2011-12, but definitely the guys who thought I was hot shit on the first date would text a ton and proactively try to set up the next date and the next, while guys who ended up being not that interested didn’t text more than the minimum. That doesn’t mean that pattern is always true, so see how it goes. If after another date you’re still doing all the work…
I don’t think texting between dates 1 and 2 is any indication of interest level. Sometimes it happens and then things fizzle. Sometimes it doesn’t and things go on to a serious relationship. My advice is to relax and enjoy each other’s company while together. If this is going to turn into something the communication will come.
And MissDre, I am not trying to be a jerk, but I think your comment, “I’ve always found that guys who are really interested will text or call a lot between dates (in my experience). If he’s not keeping in touch, it’ll likely fade out.” is really out of line. Especially since it doesn’t seem like your dates with “really interested” guys have been turning into anything serious yet.
