Oh don’t worry, I definitely won’t be bringing up anything political. Doesn’t sound like that would be a great first meeting convo, haha. Both our families are super liberal though.

OMG I just ran into my ex – first time seeing each other since we broke up over 3 years ago. I felt SO AWKWARD. We said an awkward hello and then he took off like a bat out of hell, did not stay around to chat (not that I wanted him to) and not even a polite “see ya around” or “nice seeing you” … Ugh. Seeing him made me feel gross.

It’s crazy about how many awful feelings bubbled up inside me when I saw him. Anxiety, anger, embarrassment… It’s one of those situations where all I can remember are the negative things. I can’t figure out why I stayed with him for over 4 years…. what were the positives??

Also, it’s nuts when I compare him to my current partner. They are polar opposites… a difference of night and day.

I remember wanting to get away for the weekend, do something different than sit around on the couch. So I said Hey! Let’s go to Montreal! I used my AirMiles to get us a really nice hotel suite. And… he didn’t leave the lounge of the hotel for the entire weekend. He just sat on the couch and watched tennis the whole time and ignored me.

So I ended up spending my weekend emailing back and forth with FireStar. She kept me company and kept me calm through a personal crisis (thanks FireStar). That was definitely the beginning of the end… but for some reason I stayed for 2 more years.

Ugh. I guess I’m still angry at him.

Once my ex was trying to get back together, and promised me a trip to California where we’d fly into SF, rent a convertible, drive through “wine country,” and end up in San Diego for a wedding. I totally fell for it. We ended up flying to L.A. and staying at his sister’s apartment who was out of town. Her apartment was beyond dirty – really gross and filthy. My bf was so grossed out, he started trying to clean it right away. But we stayed there instead of going to a hotel, and slept in her room with 500 stuffed animals.

He had a complete freak out / meltdown because the L.A. freeways are so different and weird to drive on, and I personally can’t read a map, and this was in like 2005 before smartphones and GPS. I had to call my dad and be like, wtf should I do? I want to get on a plane and come home. He told me not to leave my bf there, and talked me down.

So I booked a resort in Palm Springs, told my bf to pack up his shit, get in the car, stfu except for reading the map, and I would drive. So I got us there, and he was happy as a clam sitting by the pool in Palm Springs. I was like, are you doing work? He said no, he was making a spreadsheet of our receipts so far, to keep track of how much I owed him, basically.

So, yeah. There’s waaaaay more than that, and I broke up with him as soon as we got back, but we were on and off for like 5 more years. I was crazy back then.

You’re not alone…

I’ve only run into a serious ex once after the break-up. I knew he’d be there (we were both taking the bar exam) and because this was pretty soon after our break-up, I thought if I strategically ignored him, he’d want to get back together. (Embarrassing, though I suppose it’s a good thing I ignored him.)

There was another guy that I “dated” in college, who was SO EXCITED to see me years later. It was actually nice to see him, but I felt stupid because I hadn’t showered and was in sweatpants. (Always get dressed, guys! You never know who you’ll run into!) I’d actually love to bump into him again, haha.

There’s the possibility of running into my other serious ex when I visit my parents’ area, but odds are low. I’ve thought about it before, and I truly do not know what I’d do. I’ve always thought if it happens, he’ll be with his wife (who he was cheating on me with and married about five minutes after we broke up) and kid. It took me a long time to get over him and the hurt he caused, and I don’t think I’d handle it well. I don’t know that I’d even say hi.

I run into guys I’ve dated casually in my current city on a fairly regular basis. Saw one last week from two years ago on my lunch break, but I couldn’t tell if he recognized me or was strategically ignoring me. It took me a moment to place him. One guy lives about a block from me and I see him probably once a month if not more. It’s a bit awkward even with the casual guys, but not a huge deal.

So, yeah, sorry you ran into him! Where were you? Did you at least look like a babe?

It’s always the grocery store! That’s where I ran into an ex of mine a couple of years ago. We actually talked for a few minutes and it wasn’t too awkward, but then his mom came over and I felt awkward then. His mom always used to buy groceries for him and drop them off at his house. I guess it was a slight step up that he was actually accompanying his mom shopping, but basically he was a man-baby. He also was the type who never wanted to go anywhere and would just stay inside playing video games and smoking pot all the time.