DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Wooo hfantods! Have a wonderful wedding.
Sucks about the NYC trip – hopefully you can reschedule.I’m thinking about trying that Glossier – my skin is changing and not for the better. It’s getting more uneven in color and less smooth. Blargh.
@hfantods I’ve been MIA but congratulations! I hope your wedding day was a blast. Let us know how it went when you have a chance.
If anyone tries Glossier’s vitamin C serum, I’m curious your thoughts. I read reviews before pulling the trigger and a bunch of people thought it was abrasive. That has not been my experience but I get that no one product will ever be for everyone.
How was the wedding?!?
So, after 5+ years of me asking, the husband is finally getting a vasectomy this week. I have an IUD, which I’ll still do because I had horrible periods prior and I still get a period (much milder). I’m glad we’ll be doubly protected though. I know of at least three woman who got pregnant with an IUD.
Oh man. So my friend and her husband recently bought a house, a small two-bedroom that needs a bit of TLC that her very handy husband felt was within his capabilities. Well, this past weekend was the first one that they spent in the house and they’re now learning their next door neighbor is off his rocker. It sounds bad. They were outside with their dogs and the guy was absolutely wasted and got into it with my friend’s husband, saying how much he hates fat people and asking her husband when he realized he was so obese that he couldn’t see his dick anymore. He made sexually explicit comments toward my friend. She started recording the conversation and sent it in a group chat with other friends and they tell him, “This conversation is over,” and the guy starts SCREAMING about how it’s his yard and he can say whatever he wants. He then blasted loud music well into the night and was screaming obscenities about them and other neighbors (a gay couple and a black and Puerto Rican neighbors). I told her to document everything so they can take it to the police but I just looked up this guy’s arrest records, which are public, and he has quite a few arrests under his belt. Including things like assault with a deadly weapon, assault with intent to commit great bodily harm, violating an order of protection, etc. I feel so bad for them and wish I knew how to help. They’re debating flipping and selling. I’ve offered to help them get the place flipped quickly if they choose that route.
Yeah, this doesn’t get talked about enough, but I’ve been through this and had to move. We bought a condo in 2015 and realized pretty quickly our neighbor on the right was a nightmare. Nothing like this guy, but she was threatening and fucked with stuff and I was afraid she’d hurt my dog. We sold after less than 3 years and fortunately broke even after the commission. It was new gut reno so kinda like a new car you pay a premium for that.
Anyway, if I were you I wouldn’t get involved. Have them talk to the other neighbors to get more insight, and see if they can consult with a lawyer through their EAP.
Oh @Copa that suuuuucks. @Kate I remember your stories. Horrible.
My mom has a shitty neighbor but nothing like what you’re describing. When he first started his campaign of dick-itude I suggested my mom see if her gardener could deliver this:
I see now he was ordered to remove it… so sad.
I think it’s so fucked! I’m so angry for them. I’ve had weird or annoying neighbors, but never anyone completely unhinged. I guess he also made comments about their dogs and my friend is scared he will hurt them. Now that I’ve seen some of his arrest records, I’d not put it past him. He seems to do what he wants no matter the consequence. I know it’s not a great personality trait, but I’d have gone OFF if this happened to me. I don’t start shit, but I will get into it if someone comes at me.
They should not engage, imo. I will say, whoever I talked to from my EAP had some good insights.
My husband and I are both very assertive people, but engaging with this lady made us targets. When you’re dealing with someone unhinged / serious mental health issues, going off doesn’t have the result it would with a regular person who’s just acting up.
ETA what was important was *strategy*. I have no idea what the strategy would be with this guy, but for us it was appearing unbothered, enjoying our deck, showing her threats didn’t matter, and then getting ourselves voted onto the condo board so we could shape rules. And also so there would BE a condo board so that we could sell.
Not me, but a good friend of mine bought her first house with her husband right before the pandemic and turns out her neighbor is…a crochety curmudgeonly grouchy old woman. She’s annoying and frustrating, including doing everything she can to assert her “power” over her property (like cutting down trees, removing greenery, etc) but she’s not dangerous. She did call my friend fat. Meanwhile, my friend just had a baby.
Turns out they’ve decided now to move to another city entirely. I’m pretty heartbroken about it, but excited for them. I don’t think it’s entirely or even necessarily partly because of the neighbor, but I’m sure she didn’t help.
So sorry this is happening to your friend, @Copa. Is it bad that I would be the most concerned for the dogs? People like that are wild cards who can’t be trusted.
Jesus, what is up with neighbors calling each other fat??? It’s probably a power play, where you think “fat” is the most incendiary thing you can say to someone and you want that reaction. Thinking about it, that neighbor called me short. I was about 115 lbs at the time so fat wouldn’t work, but short is accurate. Like clearly she was trying to be overtly and aggressively insulting. To intimidate us I guess and establish dominance. Which is why I think the EAP person’s advice to just act unbothered, have a party out on our deck, not back down or be afraid of her, was good. Being offended about being called short, or fat, and yelling back at her I don’t think would have been effective. I think she wanted to see us upset.
Thinking about it more, girls/women who were really pissed at me at various times in my life have called me ugly. They definitely wanted me to get really upset. What are they gonna do if you just say “so?” One of them was my boyfriend’s ex who was trying to friend me on FB so she could message me and probably tell me a whole bunch of shit.
