Covid Support Thread
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Yeah, I know this is extremely rough on addicts. Alcohol, drugs, food, whatever.
My brother had been going to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting faithfully for like 8 months. Now he says they’re not having it anymore? Which may or may not be true, it’s possible they’re meeting on Zoom or something. But that was honestly almost the extent of his human interaction. Those guys, my parents. and whoever he sees at bowling. He doesn’t have any relationship or friendships. He can’t hang with my parents. He’s a delivery driver, but there’s not much work right now for the type of delivery he does, which is B2B. He texted me today that he wants to get high. I think he was “joking,” but seriously, imagine you’re a guy with no human connections, obese, health problems, and now you don’t see ANYBODY and you can’t go to your restaurants where they know you, and you don’t really cook, and you can’t go to your addiction meetings, and only your job gave you any sense of purpose… I just don’t know.
And my aunt, she said they turned off ALL the TV channels in the nursing home because some people wouldn’t stop watching the news and getting upset. So now they only have religious channels. And they can’t get their movies from the library either. So holy fucking shit, can you imagine the boredom? We call, but we don’t really have shit to say.
also been worrying a lot about addicts, especially clandestine addicts, maybe for the first time unable to get what they need. Was a secret smoker for years (so so damned grateful I managed to give up a few years back) and so glad not going through having to hide giving that up right now. Hope everyone is given the help/cut the slack etc they need right now. This is hard enough for everyone, but really damn hard for those whose crutch has been suddenly pulled away just when they most need it.
Kate I hope your brother can stay on track and that your aunt can find a better distraction than religious programs! Right about the time I was seriously concerned my husband was dying (I made him write down all the passwords, it was that bad) My support group shut down and they approved home delivery of booze and I started fearing for my own life….and here we are. I’ve held my dad’s hand as he had a seizure from withdrawal, twice. Also called 911 when he fell down the stairs, dislocated his elbow, which severed his brachial artery, and painted the ceiling with blood. So much blood. So I have some anxiety about going through withdrawal. Oh and I have a disorder that gives me obsessive thoughts. I just want to be on the other side of this already. I’d give anything to wake up tomorrow and not be an addict. I hope everyone who’s sick or suffering gets better soon
Happy to hear Wendy, Helen, and Anonymous are on all the mend. Sad to hear about Kate’s worries and concerns.
Not too much to report. It rained most of last week. Which I usually love — and so, so good for my “planted desert” — but, eh… I am in a fog lately. (Although, I did manage gather a bunch more rock from along the roadside shoulder. So yeah — the front yard looks pretty rugged, raw, and amazing. ) More cacti keep blooming. The birds keep loving their feeders and are always fun to watch, but DAMN. Have I ever been depressed lately.
Unemployment was very discouraging — to put it mildly. Now I am the sit and wait phase. It’s all very stressful.
Oh, and once upon a time I expected to spend Easter weekend packing for fabulous, long awaited Caribbean cruise to celebrate my parents’ 50th Anniversary. Instead, I just bought them cheerful cloth masks off Etsy.
Sigh… The world is pretty bleak right now.
Meaning, I simply can’t shake this awful funk. So I’ve done nothing but eat (semi healthfully.) Oh, and watch West World. (My new obsession.) I only started season 1 on wednesday and it’s a crazy good show. I am 17 episodes in. (Hey — When I binge, I binge.) The violence is INSANE. Normally this would turn my stomach, but now? I find it all very cathartic. Compelling. SPOILER: God damn, I wish I was Dolores in season 2. Talk about fucking ruthless. The idea of obliterating all of your enemies strikes me now as something more people should just fucking do. Yikes…
Anyway, yeah. I need to snap out of it.
Only, I am so panicked lately about money. So damn tired of worrying about money. Just fucking over it. That — and the fact that Trump still lives. Can somebody, anybody, please fix that? Thanks.
Helen, a fellow OCD’er with intrusive thoughts sending you some love and support. You’ve had a traumatic time and you’re doing the right things to get back on track. I hope you detox safely and feel better every day. Wishing that for Wendy’s husband and everyone else as well.
Knock on wood we’ve stayed healthy despite my husband going to work as a first responder every day. We’re both still employed. I made it 20 minutes into Tiger King before shutting it off in total disgust.
BGM the fact that Trump still lives proves there’s no such thing as karma. Or justice. If I could get close enough to him I’d lock his face
I hear you, Helen. Boy, do I ever hear you!! ? ? ? ? ?
Heading out now for sunset stroll to clear my head. Hang in there, everybody. Hang in.
I’m an insomniac during normal times, but during withdrawal next level. Just got the kids and bed and about to check out west world as BGM suggests. My area is going to get hit by a major storm system around 1am. Because I need a fucking tornado on top of everything else
Helen, I’m so sorry your struggling with addiction issues on top of everything. I can imagine how much harder it is to stay on a wagon during this storm (no pun intended).
BGM, I hear you on the depression. All of my friends and I have been feeling the same way. We have decent days and then days that it all feels so fucking overwhelming and dark. For me, my kids have really helped keep me from diving too far into the deep end. For all the challenges of raising kids through this period, they really do also help keep things a little lighter. At least, mine do, and that seems to be the case for most of my friends with kids. They miss their pals, but they don’t have the worries we have as adults and they are protected from the news and don’t have to hear about how bleak things are.
Sadly, one of our teachers died of corona on two weeks ago – she was the first public school teacher in NYC to die of the virus – and she was one of two third-grade dual-language teachers (Jackson is in the third-grade dual-language program but he has the teacher who did not die; the two classes work closely together and he knew the teacher, of course, and all of her students). It’s been incredibly sad – a huge loss for our community – and really hard to read all the bittersweet messages from her students on a memorial forum the school created. We can’t protect our kids from everything, unfortunately, and losing your beloved teacher is really among the worst thing for a kid.
Oh man – so much to catch up. I just shut out the world for a few days, as best I could.
@Wendy – I’m glad you’re on the mend. Really glad.
@Helen – know that you have support. You’ve done this before. You can do this again. Doesn’t matter that you slipped, the point is you are getting back up again. One step at a time. One minute at a time. You’ll be harder on yourself than anyone else – give yourself a break for being a frail human.
@Kate – what Wendy said is right. As long as he can breathe, he’ll be ok. But since you don’t have a thermometer, keep an eye on him and give him some cool compresses to help keep his body temperature down to the best of your ability.I remain trapped in paradise and I don’t know when I get to go home. At this point, being here has made things easier. I’m not alone, my mom is not alone.
Oh my goodness that is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry to hear that Wendy. My nephew has missed school so much and would be devastated if one of his teachers died. What a terrible thing to have to explain, and I’m sure it heightens fears about others around him getting sick.
A note about Westworld, season 3 (which is the current season) departs radically from the narrative of the previous two seasons. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s transitioned to “bad stuff happening in the real world” and with so much actual bad stuff happening in the real world it’s been hard for me to watch. Normally I can’t wait for new episodes but lately I’ve been waiting a few days to watch them.
