anonymousse. I genuinly appreciate everyone commenting here. But again, you should close your internet browser. Not because you’re saying things that could be considered hurtful or offensive. You’re simply going on about things that i know to not be true. With all due respect, i disregard everything you have to say.

Except for one thing. The crossing of boundaries. In all honesty, i never felt like asking more about the situation is actually actively crossing a boundary. I never considered it like that and maybe you’re right. I never had a role model on this matter. Maybe worth noting is I had an abusive mother. I genuinly feel that fucked me up from the start. Because of that, ive always been very very shy around girls. The reason i can’t keep girl’s interest is because i have major difficulties opening up to them. I feel like they’re bored with me after a while. As i said, the obsessive thought only come when faced with potentially losing one. Fear of abandonment?

Guy Friday: I’m sorry but i wrote a really long reply to you because i genuinly feel like you’re right but it didn’t come through for some reason. Would you think it’d be a good idea to apologise for not just accepting her initial rejection? IF i see her again , which could be in a month or two, potentially, im not going to see her for that specifically or something.

So if it weren’t clear already: I am backing off, leaving it as it is, 100%. You have given me great insights in the errors of my way of thinking and will actively recognize it when those thoughts come. Because of this i’m able to understand what i’m feeling better.

Hey Kate. I really don’t, never in an angry manner. I end up angry with myself after break ups, because i can’t blame someone for not liking me. I blame the part of myself that isn’t likeable, if only i knew what it really is.

I know, i wasn’t sure about the whole thing either. Know that she told me about her not feeling anything before our last date. We drove to the nearest McDonalds to get food and went to the movies afterwards. We then strolled about in the middle of the night in Brussels, under the Atomium (look it up, it’s quite nice at night)). It was freezing cold and i held her to ‘warm’ her and we had a brief little kiss. After which i stayed over again to cuddle. Because she said before she didn’t feel anything, i figured it would be nice to have this sort of thing going on, purely for some phsyical contact and affection. Plus, it wasn’t the sex i was after. I can get laid if i want to, it’s a real connection im missing out on, which i why i don’t like casual sex (with someone you don’t really get along with, that is). This made me think she saw me as a cuddle doll, not the other way around!

And yes, the first conversation about it was before said date. Some days later i went out partying with my friend who lives in her hallway. Because i wasn’t very sure of where we were at at the moment, i decided to go ask. Actually i wanted to let her know how i felt about it (im very uneasy with sharing my feelings right away, i need time to let conversations like the first one sink in before i really know how i feel about them). I wanted things to stay the way they were, it was great. But then she started going on about how great i am, called me a gift from god, said she’d never connected to a guy like me before, on the moment we met. THAT made it very very confusing for me. This conversation was also a bit rushed because me and my friend had to catch a bus, so it was all said in like 15 minutes. Another thing, i went on a party earlier and had a lot of female attention. I decided to ask what she’d think of that in order to get an idea in how serious she was taking “””us”””. Then she told me about how free she feels at uni and she also does what she wants so i wouldn’t have to worry. Okay, cool, i guess. But then she said she wouldn’t be in any relationship anythime soon, not now, not in a month or three. And then i asked where she felt the need from to tell me all of this. Then she told me about the guy, right after the relationship thing. So what i said was in a more joking matter, to be honest, i feel shot down by you people for saying that.

But yeah, the day after. I stayed to sleep with my friend but he sleeps long, like a rock and i was awake very early. So i walked into the kitchen, hungover as fuck and most people from the hallway were there. I asked if i could borrow a towel to shower, she said yeah sure come pick one up. So i knocked on the door, had a little chat, asked if we were good but she seemed more and more distant already. So dropped the towel off later, went to chill in the kitchen but my friend wouldn’t wake up at all, a real rock. So me thinking we could still hang, went to knock on her door. She was lying in her bed watching a series on her laptop. Normally id just watch with her but i felt very awkward. So she felt that as well. And i do think this may have caused her to change her mind after all, yes. I think it’s okay, but i hate to be left in the grey zone. And okay i learnt that i have to be able to simply take it as it is.

Yes, and i feel it might be because i wasn’t confident enough in showing i was okay with being friends. I think this made her feel like i was expecting things from her, which pushed her away further. I can’t explain fully because there were more things said before, but it makes sense to me it wasn’t for the good.

And because i already had that feeling, i came to look for advice before trying to meet up to talk again. Good job, eh?