Feeling pressured to babysit sisters kid overnight
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Ok I have read that 7 times in a few mins. She never mentions plans or camping. Am i on drugs I wasn’t aware of so am not enjoying them as i should? Did someone spike my chocolate milk?
Wait. I found it. Being a speed reader has it’s downfalls. But ya camping seems like he least of her complaints.
LW already mentioned she is in a full time internship and is exhausted. Sister should have asked other young mothers for an overnight baby sitter. The sister plain sounds lazy and seems entitled to free babysitting.
But not too exhausted to go camping!
Yeah, sister is so lazy, working an overnight nursing shift. Lazy ass nurses!
Even if she has other young-mother friends, they may not have overnight sitters. My kid is 5, and has never stayed overnight with anyone but me, my husband, or my mom. I would be extremely uncomfortable having someone I didn’t know taking care of my toddler alone overnight.
I guess sucking it up wins.
Just a couple of clarifying comments-on top of her husband, our parents, and myself she also has two baby sitters. But none that do overnights.
She is the nurse supervisor so she does have some rank and status. I know every place is different but I also work at a hospital on the nursing floor and 3 weeks is usually plenty of time to rearrange your shift, especially if it’s that or not be able to watch your two year old..hence my skepticism..but. maybe my Hospital is a little more understanding than hers.
I’m not saying she doesn’t love her kiddo by any means, I’m just saying something my mom and I have observed; even when she has the day off, she has a babysitter watch the kiddo until his dad gets off work. She’s not the most maternal type, she’s even admitted that herself.
I believe another comment insinuated that my camping plans seemed made up… LOL! if I was going to make up a story I wouldn’t say something that adds to the selfish image I had already established…I maybe would have said “I have to work early!” I know that versus “I want to go camping!” Create totally different portrayals but why should I lie? camping plans aren’t hard to cancel, just disappointing. But the suck it up vote wins so…
Anyone want to watch my dog for the night ??
Thanks for all the input!LW- if you dont want to do something you can say no. You shouldn’t be feelin guilted into doing anything you don’t want. However, The one thing that stood out to me in your letter is how far you are willing to go to make any excuse in hoping someone will justify you for noting wanting to go forward with agreeing to watch your sisters child. There is no need to find fault in her as a bad parent and person just because you dont want to do something that you agreed you would do. And to be honest- you mention clinicals- you lack compassion so I hope your studies arent in a field that requires compassion.
Oh yeah and I tried to keep it simple by saying sorry, I’m camping originally but that’s when grandma bear got involved and started packing my bags for the guilt trip. This was last week. So that was when I changed it to, I have plans but if absolutely no once else can help out let me know (I think that was a few days ago I said that). So she called me today and said no one else could… so I called our mom like I don’t know what to do, I feel for her but I have these plans I’ve been looking forward to and I’m exhausted from school, I love my nephew but I don’t particularly enjoy babysitting (children just aren’t my thing I’m not very good with them)…and the “ I’m not going to force you to do anything but you should really consider it because you’re acting selfish” lecture began. And I agree with the comment that maybe my mom just wants to see someone else step up to the plate rather than just her. I agree, buuttt to be fair she often requests sleepovers because they are fun for grandma (he’s her first and only grandkid so far. Me…not so much lol
Again, not saying sis is a bad person or parent. Sheesh way to twist my words into something cruel and awful. Just saying she seeks babysitting care quite often, and not just because of work. Last weekend my nephew stayed with my parents all weekend because she had friends visit from out of town and was throwing a party. That being said, if my parents had refused she would have cancelled the plans. She’s not neglectful.
she clearly adores her son and she is a great mom, but she does display a pattern of…well let’s rephrase what I said earlier to that she is wanting to really balance the work-family-friends dynamic. And that’s fine. I guess I’m harsh on it though because My parents were against babysitters when we grew up unless they absolutely needed one, and she seems a little more lax about it. That being said, as an adult I wish my parents had given themselves a break every now and then, they deserved it. So there’s definitely a balance.
it’s far from the first time she’s asked me to babysit, both planned and randomly. Yet This is the first time she’s asked me to do an overnight, yes, so I’m doing it ok! Lol
@Vathena, the sister is indeed lazy in not looking for an alternative babysitter or re-arranging her schedule. Instead she went about re-arranging the LW’s schedule.
The LW is questioning why she is being called selfish for trying to enjoy her weekend when her sister gets out of babysitting her own son when she gets her time off. No one is saying sister is bad mom.
Yeah, your not wanting to do this one time is selfish and shows a basic lack of empathy for your sister. I wonder if you have some underlying resentment for what you see as your family prioritizing the sister and grandkid over you.
Wow – while I agree you should probably just do it, do not let these other comments get to you. Your sister chose to have a child, and that is not your problem or responsibility. Yes, it’s nice to help her out, but she is not entitled to free childcare. That doesn’t mean you “lack compassion.” Geez
You don’t need an excuse. Your plan for Friday could be netflix with a bottle of wine, and it doesn’t mean you HAVE to watch HER child. You don’t need to feel guilty about saying no. I don’t see why she couldn’t have secured a babysitter. It is not your problem. Obviously, it would be nice for you to help her out but you are not obligated. I hate when people choose to have children and then expect family members to take care of them – not saying that’s the case but sure sounds like it.
I agree with Ridgeback. LW had plans. She has a very busy schedule and camping would be a relaxing decompression for her. Babysitting a whole night will both throw off her sleep cycle and add stress. So what was to be an already scheduled day of stress relief, becomes a major stressor.
