To everyone else I should have described a better picture with my friend. Yes I was excited we were going on a double date on a Saturday. I live down the street and figured hey I can come over and hang out for a few if she’s not busy and chat. Okay too much socialization for her. I’m having a hard time realizing it’s too much bc of how much we hung out together over the years. I mean 12 years of hanging out often to the last couple years of only seeing each other once in 3 months threw me off. I mean that weekend I mentioned was the first time I was going to hang out and see her once in 3 months. We use to hang out all the time. I mean I get it if I asked her all the time to hang out and we hung out often that 2 days in one weekend is a lot. This was just one in 3 months and I live right near her and we hung out all the time until the last couple years. Also she gave me mixed signals like I said 2 years ago when she started to stop hanging out as much and i backed off. She came to me and said let me know when I get like that and just slap me out of it. Like I said I was just honest with her and said she didn’t seem to want to hang out and I backed off. She said she didn’t us to stop hanging out so much less. Yet here we are again. So I try to make an effort to invite her to.do things or come over or I’d come over so it’s low key. Then she tells me no. I mean I don’t ask her every weekend I’d say I ask her around once a month. She might agree to do something in 3 months. Like to go from hanging out all the time for 12 years to once in 3 months or so in the last 3 years just made me sad. I’m not mad at her. I just am confused. She tells me she doesn’t want to be like this then tells me she’s become an introvert. I don’t get it but that’s ok. I’m just sad we don’t hang out as often and I miss her. I’ll always be here if she wants to get together or to talk. I don’t even ask her to hang out anymore bc I don’t want to push it. She always said to me she likes the we all live close to hang out more but that isn’t the outcome. Like I said seems like mixed signals. So when things changed I thought I did something wrong.

I am not saying it’s not unheard of to make friends in your 30s. It’s definitely possible. In the town I live in, it’s smaller and there’s tons of private schools so many people have been friends since their childhood or high school. I made mine from college. In the mom groups I’m in. I’m seeing now the ones that ask to do a mom social group or coffee meet up are from out of town. Most that do these are. I went to one last weekend for a meet up. It was short but fun. Not many moms came which I think why it was short but it was fun to meet ppl and it was something to do. Like you all said, I think it’s time to make new friends and put myself out there.

You describing your friend is like some of my friends describing me. I love my friends, but I have no need to hang out or see them regularly. They know that if they need something – I’m around. But I don’t call enough and and I’m terrible with making plans. I just don’t think about it. I’m happier just going along my little stream and if my path crosses someone else’s that’s cool. Eventually the current will move things along and I’ll be happily on my own again.

It’s just not who your friend is or what she wants. If it’s not good enough for you – you can phase her out. But if you can accept her on these terms, she’ll stay in your life a long time. I mean like decades long.

Can’t grasp** typo^^