“I Can’t Get Over That My Wife Had Sex Before We Met”
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Seems like men are not the only “lying bastards” here.
LOL!
Jason,
Did you even read the thread to understand the context of my comment? You just started hurling accusations at me without even understanding what was going on. Maybe my humor went over your head? If that’s the case, that’s your shit to deal with not mine. Just ’cause you didn’t get the joke, doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny.And FTR, you don’t EVER need to feel sorry for any man that I’m in a relationship with, EVER! Dude, I got my shit covered.
^^^^bahaha Get em’ lol wow.
Rock on CJ. Rock. On.
Sir, if you didn’t want to be criticized, then you shouldn’t have opened up like that. Who are you to judge your wife? There! I said it! It’s none of your business who she slept with before you. Why was it so important that you had a sex life before her? God, I have never heard of such insanity in my life. Grow up and GET OVER IT!! Be glad you had a woman with experience that could teach you. Yes, I am a virgin myself telling you this! If you can’t get over it, do the kindest thing for her and get a divorce. Let her find someone that will appreciate her for her and not worry about who she slept with in the past. Oh, and I have to wonder, is your past so free of mistakes that you could judge others like that?
Dude, have you ever considered swinging? I mean you clearly want more experiences and there is nothing wrong with that. You do not want to cheat on her and that is commendable. I am not gonna raz you for wanting more sexually. Most people frown on that because they are satisfied with the sex that they have and think that everyone should be the same way. They recommend therapist because your desires are perceived as wrong/slutty/misogynistic/selfish/immature. Maybe you are just wired a little differently and are open to a wider range of experiences.
There is nothing wrong with being that way. The hard part is communicating it to someone who may not want to understand your needs. You want more and that desire may be the pea under the mattress that doesn’t let the princess sleep. In other words, it may bug you to a point where your relationship with your wife is strained.
I honestly don’t know how you bring up something like this (or even if you want to)? I wanted to let you know that there may be absolutely nothing wrong with you. You may not need a therapist. You may just need to find a way to decently and honestly talk to your wife about your needs.
Therapy isn’t a punishment, and suggesting it isn’t an insult. The LW expressed that he has negative effects related to thoughts he can’t control. That is something that therapists specialize in. They also help people figure out how to communicate with their loved ones about what’s going on. It’s unfortunate that society continues to push this idea that therapy is for people who have something “wrong” with them. It could help a lot of people if they were less close-minded about it.
I’m still confused about what the issue is. Your wife had sex before she met you. It’s not like she cheated. Most people you date have had sex/sexual experiences before you’ve met. She didn’t cheat, she’s not doing anything wrong. So stop judging her on her past and live in the present. This agony you’re putting yourself through isn’t worth it. And it’s all in your head. Find a different therapist and work through YOUR issues.
The point is she didn’t stay with any of them. She choose to make a life with you. You were lucky that you found love with the first person you slept with. You have to get over it and accept it’s you she wants to be with and her past is her past.
If you enter a traditional marriage promising fidelity to your wife, you are taking a HUGE chance bringing up the topic of swinging. There may be nothing “wrong” with that desire, I guess, but you may have to forfeit the marriage if you tell your wife she isn’t enough for you sexually and you want to screw other people. Just because a woman has previous sexual experience doesn’t mean she has any interest in screwing around or being screwed around on in her marriage.
Swinging is so ’70s.
There’s still plenty of popular, and busy, clubs for swingers. Along with their own lingo and jewelry to spot swingers. It isn’t “so 70s” just maybe not your cup of tea.
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