Interested in a gorgeous and highly popular guy at my college

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  • LisforLeslie
    April 28, 2022 at 10:41 am #1108934

    Oh this is likely not going to end well. Kiddo – you’ve basically said that you’ve got the lust – as long as he’s somewhat decent you’d sleep with him and that’d be enough but I think you’re lying to yourself. Because if that were truly enough, you wouldn’t be spending all of this time thinking about how to differentiate yourself from the hoards of women vying for a night with him.

    If you really didn’t care you’d have already thrown yourself at him and offered up an after class quickie. I think you want to win this guy. He’s gorgeous and popular and you don’t want 1 hour. I think you want to be the girl who makes him stop flirting with all the other girls because he’s smitten.

    You do you – but I think you need to really figure out what you want and not pretend you’re the “cool girl”.

    April 28, 2022 at 11:37 am #1108936

    What L for Leslie said,100%. Most guys will have sex if it is offered, but that means nothing as far as indicating they want to date you or want a relationship.

    April 28, 2022 at 11:42 am #1108937

    Absolutely but she cannot see it. To him, you’re just another woman. Most guys in college with hordes of women flinging themselves at them don’t just happen to fall into that role. He likes he role. He loves the role.

    April 28, 2022 at 12:09 pm #1108939

    I guess I am overthinking this situation;
    I will try to avoid doing that.

    I do think that I am open for just having a hook-up with him;
    I don’t know him yet, so I have of course not got any actual feelings for him.

    However, I have never approached a guy from a direct sexual perspective like that – my previous dates have started with a lot of small talk for several days and sometimes weeks, and then just become more intimate kind of automatically, so I am not quite sure how to approach this guy if I am planning on a more physical meeting right away.
    I am not sure if it would be a good idea to walk up to him in a low-cut blouse or whatever and immediately ask him if we will have sex, but maybe…?

    April 28, 2022 at 12:16 pm #1108940

    That’s what the other girls are doing and it seems to be working. Like I said at the beginning, if that’s what you want, you have seen what works and you can do that.

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with just wanting to have sex with a hot guy and being open to whatever. Go get it! But like people here are saying, be honest with yourself that you can deal with it if it’s only a hookup and he moves on to someone else. It kind of sounds like you’re okay with that, so go for it.

    I also honestly do not think there’s anything wrong with being strategic and trying to win by doing something different than the other girls are doing. Is it game-playing? Yes. And if you were in this to have a relationship then I’d say don’t do that, be authentic, get to know him, bla bla bla. If you’re just in it for a good time though, then whatever, anything goes.

    April 28, 2022 at 12:34 pm #1108943

    Haha, well, I think I will approach him a little bit in both ways, if I see him tomorrow;
    what I mean about that is that I will try to act as flirty and sensual towards him as I can while at the same time keeping it at a level that would be acceptable if other people heard us talking.

    I will think of a few ways to seduce him until tomorrow, and I will see where it goes, haha.

    April 28, 2022 at 12:47 pm #1108944

    I mean yeah, if you’re good with just a hookup, everything Kate said. I’m all for a fun hookup with an attractive man (well, before I met the husband that is).

    If you’re at all secretly hoping for something more than a hookup or FWB, you’re likely going to get hurt or not have a satisfactory encounter.

    Good luck. And make sure he wears a condom.

    April 28, 2022 at 12:50 pm #1108946

    Yes, jeez. Please use a condom and have had all your HPV vaccines.

    April 28, 2022 at 1:18 pm #1108947

    Def protect yourself and be prepared for a shit-ton of disappointment. Dude may be getting a lot, but he may not be getting repeat customers. I’m thinking of Jon Hamm on 30 Rock.

    April 28, 2022 at 1:27 pm #1108948

    Well, he has given me the impression that he is a decent person as well;
    I haven’t noticed anything about him that makes him less attractive in any way.
    He seems to formulate himself well, and seems to be very focused during school work and very good at communicating with people and things like that, at least based on what I have seen of him during our classes together since I noticed him for the first time during the beginning of this semester about 4 months ago.

    I also feel like he would probably be really good in bed if he has frequent meetings with girls, and hasn’t seemed to have got any bad reputation in any way.

    April 28, 2022 at 1:48 pm #1108949

    I’m a decent/good person and in my 20s, while not in a relationship, I’d sleep around.

    We’re telling you to be prepared for disappointment because your words are contradicting themselves. You’d be ok with a hookup or whatever you can get… but guys, he’s a good person and is good at communicating!! I mean, so? If you just want a hookup, why does it matter what kind of person he is? You should still use protection (condom for sure, and preferably birth control for you too) because you don’t know how many people he’s actually slept with.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by ktfran.
    April 28, 2022 at 1:54 pm #1108951

    I’m not trying to be mean. I just don’t think you fully know what you’re trying to do here. I’ve been where you are. But I guess the best way is to learn for yourself.

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Interested in a gorgeous and highly popular guy at my college

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